It’s right up there with the most challenging periods of my life:

I was constantly unhappy, drained and felt like I was spinning in circles with no sense of direction.

I did everything I could to get out of this rut, tried every piece of advice that came my way but nothing seemed to work.

It wasn’t always a dramatic struggle.

Just a relentless feeling of being stuck and not knowing how to change things even when every fiber of my being was screaming for a shift.

Here’s how I finally figured out the eight things I needed to stop doing to reclaim my happiness and energy, and find my direction in life. This is how I managed to turn things around even when it felt like an uphill battle.

1) I let go of comparisons

Comparisons are sneaky, silent joy-stealers.

They tend to creep in when you least expect them and can turn a good day into a spiral of self-doubt and dissatisfaction.

I kept comparing my path, my progress and even my happiness to others. It felt like I was running a race that had no finish line and no clear markers of success.

If it seems like you’re living in someone else’s story, or constantly measuring yourself against others, it’s time to pause.

Only when I stopped comparing did I start to see my own worth and find my own direction. Releasing the need to compare was an essential first step towards reclaiming my happiness.

2) I stopped seeking approval

Chasing after approval is like chasing after a mirage.

No matter how close you think you are, it always seems to be just out of reach. I found myself altering my behavior, my choices and even my dreams based on what I thought would get me approval from others.

It was exhausting and left me feeling drained and disconnected from myself.

When I finally realized that the only approval that truly mattered was my own, it felt like a massive weight had been lifted.

Letting go of the need for approval was not just liberating, it was a game changer. It allowed me to focus on what truly made me happy and gave me the courage to follow my own path.

3) I let go of perfectionism

I used to be a card-carrying member of the Perfectionist Club.

Every task, every project, every interaction had to be flawless. If it wasn’t perfect, it felt like a failure. This mindset left me perpetually unhappy and drained.

There was a time when I had to deliver a presentation at work. I spent days and nights perfecting every detail, every slide, every sentence. The stress was immense and in the end, the presentation went well but the cost of my mental and physical health was too high.

It took me a while to understand that perfection is an illusion.

When I decided to embrace imperfection and accept that mistakes are a part of life, things started to change. I learned to give myself some grace and found joy in the process rather than just the outcome.

Letting go of perfectionism was not easy but it was definitely necessary for my happiness and peace of mind.

4) I stopped overloading my schedule

Did you know, the average person makes about 35,000 decisions a day?

Every decision, no matter how small, uses up our mental energy. I was constantly packing my schedule with tasks and commitments, leaving no room for rest or relaxation. It felt like I was on a hamster wheel, constantly moving but going nowhere.

Over time, this frenetic pace made me feel drained and directionless.

I learned to value my time and energy by reducing the number of decisions and tasks in a day. Prioritizing became my new superpower.

Clearing my schedule made room for things that truly mattered to me and gave me the time and energy to focus on finding my direction in life.

5) I quit negative self-talk

I was my own worst critic.

The critical voice in my head was always there, ready to point out my flaws, amplify my mistakes and downplay my achievements. It was like a constant, draining hum in the background of my life.

What I didn’t realize was how much this negative self-talk was affecting my happiness and sense of direction. It kept me stuck in a cycle of self-doubt and fear.

Then, I decided to change the narrative.

I started to challenge the negative thoughts with positive affirmations and began treating myself with the same kindness and understanding I would offer a friend.

Turning off the negative self-talk allowed me to hear my own voice clearly and trust in my ability to navigate life. It was a powerful step towards finding direction and regaining happiness.

6) I stopped neglecting my health

I was always on the go, trying to juggle a thousand things at once.

In the midst of all this, I neglected my health. Skipping meals became a habit and exercise was a distant memory. I was running on empty, both physically and mentally.

Only when I hit a wall of exhaustion did I realize the cost of neglecting my health. It wasn’t just about feeling physically drained, it was about feeling emotionally and mentally drained too.

I decided to prioritize my health by incorporating regular exercise into my routine, eating nourishing meals and ensuring adequate rest.

Taking care of my health not only recharged my energy levels but also cleared my mind, making room for positivity and clarity. This shift played a significant role in helping me regain direction in life.

7) I let go of relationships that drained me

As much as we like to think otherwise, the people we surround ourselves with have a profound impact on our lives and our happiness.

I had relationships in my life that were more draining than fulfilling. They sucked the energy out of me, leaving me feeling unhappy and directionless.

It was a tough decision, but I realized that for my own wellbeing, I needed to let go of these relationships.

I started surrounding myself with positive, supportive people who encouraged and inspired me.

This change in my social circle made a world of difference. Not only did I feel happier and more energized, but I also found it easier to navigate my own path with the support of these uplifting individuals.

8) I learned to say “no”

Saying “yes” to everything was a habit I thought made me helpful and likable.

In reality, it was leaving me overcommitted, overwhelmed and directionless. My time and energy were being spent on things that didn’t align with my goals or bring me joy.

The day I learned to say “no” was a game changer. It was like I had been given a new tool to protect my time, energy, and peace of mind.

Saying “no” allowed me to focus on what truly mattered to me. It gave me the time and space to find my direction and pursue what truly brought happiness into my life.

In the end, learning to say “no” was perhaps the most crucial step in my journey from feeling drained and directionless to finding my happiness again.

The final reflection

If any of these points resonated with you, know that you’re not alone. We all have habits and patterns that can lead us to feel drained and directionless.

The good news is, change is possible.

Start by acknowledging these patterns in your life. Spot the moments when you’re comparing yourself, seeking approval, or neglecting your health. Identify the times you’re caught in negative self-talk or overcommitting yourself.

Once you recognize these, try to pause and ask yourself – is this serving my happiness? Is this adding value to my life? Or is it draining my energy and leading me away from my true path?

Change doesn’t happen overnight, and it’s okay to take small steps. Each step you take towards breaking these habits is a step towards reclaiming your happiness and finding your direction.

In the words of Pema Chödrön, “Nothing ever goes away until it has taught us what we need to know.”

So, embrace this journey of self-discovery and transformation. Take each day as it comes and remember, you are more than capable of steering your life towards happiness and fulfillment.