Being around new people always used to make me feel uneasy. I was constantly self-conscious, worrying about what they might be thinking about me.

Then, I discovered the power of body language.

Mastering certain body language habits didn’t just change how others perceived me, it changed how I felt about myself.

In this article, I’ll share the 9 body language habits that transformed my interactions with others and helped me to finally feel comfortable in my own skin.

These are the tricks that took me from feeling awkward to feeling confident.

1) Open posture

One of the first body language habits I mastered was maintaining an open posture.

An example of an open posture is standing or sitting with an upright and relaxed stance, facing directly towards someone, with arms uncrossed and maintaining eye contact. This posture conveys openness, confidence, and a willingness to engage in communication.

Think of it like an invitation. An open posture communicates that you’re approachable, receptive, and willing to engage in meaningful conversation.

2) Eye contact

According to researchers, maintaining eye contact not only increases emotional excitement but also automatically triggers a positive emotional response from the observer. It’s a way of saying “I’m present, I’m listening, and I value what you have to say.”  

I remember this one time at a networking event. I was speaking with a potential business partner and I consciously made an effort to maintain steady eye contact throughout our conversation. Not an intense, unblinking stare, but a calm and steady gaze.

To my surprise, I noticed a change in our interaction. The conversation felt more engaging, more substantial. He seemed to respond positively to my increased eye contact, replying more enthusiastically and showing more interest in what I had to say.

Ever since, I’ve made it a point to maintain good eye contact during conversations. It has made a world of difference in how people respond to me and how confident I feel in these interactions.

3) Mirroring

Mirroring is a powerful body language technique that involves subtly copying the gestures, expressions, or posture of the person you’re interacting with. It’s a way to create rapport and show empathy without saying a word.

Did you know that people who like each other often mirror each other’s body language without even realizing it? It’s a subconscious way of saying, “I’m like you, I feel the same.”

When I started consciously incorporating mirroring into my interactions, I noticed people seemed more at ease around me. They felt understood and validated, which in turn made me feel more comfortable and confident.

However, it’s crucial to keep it subtle. Overdoing it might come off as mimicry and could make the other person uncomfortable. It’s about striking the right balance and creating a genuine connection.

4) Nods of agreement

Nodding is a simple yet powerful body language habit. It’s a universal sign of agreement and understanding, a non-verbal way of saying “I’m with you.”

When you nod while someone else is speaking, it not only shows that you’re actively listening, but also that you’re agreeing with or understanding what they’re saying.

But don’t just nod for the sake of nodding. It should be a genuine reflection of your engagement in the conversation. False nods can come across as insincere and may give the impression that you’re just going through the motions.

When used correctly, nodding can create a positive feedback loop in conversation. The speaker feels heard and validated, making them more likely to open up further, while you build rapport and trust by showing active engagement.

5) Smiling genuinely

A smile is a powerful tool when it comes to communication. It’s a universal sign of friendliness and warmth, and it can significantly impact how others perceive you.

However, not all smiles are created equal. A genuine smile – one that reaches your eyes and transforms your entire face – can light up a room and make others feel at ease.

On the other hand, a forced or fake smile can do just the opposite, creating a sense of unease and insincerity.

When I started to consciously smile more in social situations, I noticed a shift in how people responded to me. They seemed more relaxed and open, which in turn made me feel less self-conscious and more at ease.

6) Listening actively

Active listening is more than just a body language habit. It’s a way of showing genuine respect and interest in what the other person has to say.

It involves maintaining eye contact, leaning in slightly, and responding appropriately to show that you’re fully engaged in the conversation. It’s about giving the other person your undivided attention and making them feel heard and valued.

When I started practicing active listening, I noticed a significant change in my interactions with others. People seemed to appreciate the attention and reciprocated by showing more interest in what I had to say.

But more than that, active listening allowed me to connect with people on a deeper level. I found myself understanding and empathizing with others more easily, which in turn made me feel more connected and less self-conscious.

7) Limiting fidgeting

Fidgeting was a big issue for me. Whenever I was in a social setting, I would find myself unconsciously playing with my hair, tapping my foot, or looking around the room.

These habits were a direct result of my unease and self-consciousness, and they were likely making me appear nervous or disinterested to others.

When I became aware of this, I made a conscious effort to curb these habits. Instead of fidgeting, I would focus on maintaining open body language and active engagement in the conversation.

The result? Not only did I appear more confident and engaged to others, but I also felt more in control and at ease within myself.

8) Using gestures

Using hand gestures is a great way to add emphasis and clarity to your words. It’s also a sign of confidence and enthusiasm, showing that you’re fully engaged in the conversation.

But like most things, it’s all about balance. Too many gestures can become distracting, while too few can make you appear rigid or uninterested.

When I started incorporating gestures into my conversations, I noticed a significant difference in how my words were received. Gestures added a visual element that helped to convey my thoughts more effectively.

More importantly, using gestures made me feel more confident and animated, which helped to offset my self-consciousness.

9) Being authentic

At the end of the day, the most important body language habit to master is authenticity.

You can practice all the techniques in the world, but if you’re not being genuine, it will show. People can sense authenticity, and they’re drawn to it.

When I stopped trying to be someone I wasn’t and started embracing who I truly am, that’s when I saw the biggest shift in my interactions with others.

Being authentic doesn’t mean you can’t work on improving your body language. It simply means being true to yourself while doing so.

Authenticity breeds confidence, and confidence is infectious. When you’re confident in who you are, it shines through in your body language, making others feel more at ease around you.

Transformation begins with baby steps

As we wrap up this exploration of body language mastery, remember that transformation often begins with subtle shifts in our nonverbal communication. Embrace the power of these nine body language habits to not only conquer self-consciousness but to radiate confidence and ease in any social setting.

Cultivating positive nonverbal cues is not just about impressing others—it’s a profound investment in your self-assurance and the relationships you build.

So, go forth with these tools, stand tall, make eye contact, and let your body language tell the world the confident story you’re destined to share.