I always felt lonely and unhappy, until I adopted these 10 new habits

Lucas Graham by Lucas Graham | May 20, 2024, 10:20 am

There’s a world of difference between feeling lonely and being alone.

Feeling lonely was my constant companion, like an unwelcome shadow that never left my side, while happiness seemed like a distant dream.

Then, I discovered it wasn’t about changing my circumstances, but about adopting new habits.

These 10 habits helped me embrace solitude without feeling lonely, and unearth joy from within myself.

And I believe they can do the same for you.

In this piece, I’ll share how these habits transformed my life, and how they can transform yours too.

1) Embrace solitude

Many people confuse being alone with the distressing feeling of loneliness.

There’s a vast difference between the two, and understanding this was my first step towards happiness.

Loneliness is a state of mind, a feeling of emptiness and isolation.

Being alone, on the other hand, is simply a physical state of not being with other people.

The key is not to run away from solitude, but to embrace it.

When I began to appreciate my own company, I discovered that solitude can be incredibly therapeutic.

It provides an opportunity for self-reflection, creativity, and personal growth.

Hey, it’s a habit that needs to be cultivated.

Start by setting aside some time for yourself each day, even if it’s just a few minutes.

Gradually, you’ll start to enjoy your own company, instead of seeking joy from external sources.

2) Cultivate gratitude

Gratitude is truly powerful, and I’m a testament to that.

I vividly recall a particularly bleak day when I was feeling incredibly low and isolated.

Instead of succumbing to despair, I decided to take a different approach.

I grabbed a piece of paper and began jotting down everything I was thankful for.

Starting with simple comforts like a cozy bed, nourishing food, and a shelter, my list gradually expanded to include my health, job, and the people who supported me.

As I continued writing, I realized that even amidst solitude, I had countless blessings to count.

This simple act of recognizing my gratitude lifted my spirits in a profound way.

Since then, practicing gratitude has become a daily ritual for me.

Each morning, before diving into the day, I take a moment to jot down three things I’m grateful for.

This straightforward practice has heightened my appreciation for life’s blessings and has been instrumental in combating feelings of loneliness and discontentment.

3) Foster meaningful connections

In our digital age, it’s easy to have a thousand friends on social media and still feel lonely.

That’s because true connection goes beyond mere online interactions.

Humans are social creatures by nature. We thrive on genuine, heartfelt interactions with others.

Studies have shown that people with strong social connections are not only happier, but also healthier and live longer.

Creating meaningful relationships doesn’t necessitate having a large social circle.

It could be as simple as having a deep, heartfelt conversation with a close friend, or spending quality time with family members.

4) Engage in physical activity

Physical activity is more than just a means to maintain physical health, it’s also a powerful tool for mental well-being.

Whenever I felt the tendrils of loneliness creeping in, I found that engaging in some form of physical activity was a surefire way to stave them off.

The reason is simple: physical activity releases endorphins, the body’s natural mood lifters.

Whether it’s a brisk walk in the park, a yoga session, or even dancing to your favorite tunes, any form of movement can help elevate your mood and keep feelings of loneliness at bay.

Make it a habit to incorporate some form of physical activity into your daily routine.

It doesn’t have to be strenuous or time-consuming.

Even a few minutes of light exercise each day can make a significant difference to your mental health.

5) Practice mindfulness

Living in the present moment can be incredibly liberating.

Mindfulness is a state of active, open attention to the present.

It’s about observing your thoughts and feelings from a distance, without judging them as good or bad.

When I started practicing mindfulness, I realized that much of my loneliness stemmed from dwelling on the past or worrying about the future.

By learning to live in the present, I was able to let go of these feelings.

Mindfulness can be practiced in many ways.

You could try meditation, deep-breathing exercises, or even mindful eating.

The key is to focus on the here and now.

By doing this, you’ll find that feelings of loneliness and unhappiness lose their grip, making way for contentment and peace.

6) Reach out to others

We all have moments when we feel isolated and disconnected from the world.

But it’s during these times that reaching out to others can be the most therapeutic.

Reaching out isn’t about seeking sympathy or validation, it’s about sharing your humanity with others.

It’s about understanding that everyone has their own struggles and that we’re not alone in our feelings of loneliness or unhappiness.

A simple phone call to a friend, volunteering at a local charity, or even helping a stranger can make a world of difference.

Not only does it create a sense of connectedness, but it can also bring immense joy and satisfaction.

7) Find a sense of purpose

For a long time, I felt like a ship lost at sea, drifting aimlessly without a destination.

The feelings of loneliness and unhappiness were overwhelming at times.

It wasn’t until I found my purpose that things started to change. For me, it was writing.

The moment I put pen to paper, I felt a sense of fulfillment that I had never experienced before.

Having a purpose gave my life direction.

It provided me with a reason to get out of bed every morning, and it made me feel like I was part of something bigger than myself.

And you know what? Your purpose doesn’t have to be grand or world-altering.

It could be as simple as growing a garden, learning a new skill, or helping others.

The key is to find something that you love.

8) Limit time on social media

In a world where we’re more connected than ever, it’s ironic how disconnected we can sometimes feel.

The culprit? Often, it’s our excessive use of social media.

While these platforms can be great for keeping in touch with friends and family, they can also create a sense of isolation and loneliness.

The constant barrage of highlight reels from other people’s lives can make us feel like we’re missing out or not measuring up.

Dialing back on social media usage was a game-changer for me.

Instead of mindlessly scrolling through feeds, I started using that time to engage in meaningful activities.

My point being: when you reduce the time spent on social media, you might find yourself feeling more content with your own life. 

9) Develop a self-care routine

One of the most important habits I adopted was learning to take care of myself.

Self-care isn’t just about pampering yourself with bubble baths or indulgent treats, although those can be part of it.

It’s about doing things that nourish your mind, body, and soul.

For me, self-care involves a combination of daily exercise, eating healthy, getting enough sleep, and taking time each day to do something I enjoy.

This might be reading a book, listening to my favorite music, or spending time in nature.

Adopting a self-care routine helped me realize that I’m important and that my wellbeing matters.

It taught me to value myself and helped alleviate feelings of loneliness and unhappiness.

10) Accept and love yourself

The most significant habit that changed my life was learning to accept and love myself, flaws and all.

For a long time, I sought validation and happiness from other people.

But true contentment came when I started to accept myself as I am, without feeling the need to conform to societal expectations or ideals.

Loving yourself doesn’t mean that you think you’re perfect.

It means acknowledging your flaws and imperfections, but not letting them define you.

Learning to love yourself can be a journey, but it’s one worth taking.

Because at the end of the day, the relationship you have with yourself sets the tone for all other relationships in your life.  

Embrace the journey: Discovering joy in every step

Overcoming loneliness and unhappiness is a deeply personal journey, unique to each individual.

It’s important to remember that emotions are transient.

Loneliness and unhappiness are temporary states, fleeting moments that dissipate over time.

The habits we’ve explored in this article aren’t quick fixes or magical solutions.

They’re tools to help navigate life’s ups and downs, to embrace solitude without succumbing to loneliness, and to discover joy from within.

As you journey towards overcoming loneliness and finding happiness, remember: every step you take demonstrates your strength, resilience, and capacity for growth.

And that’s truly something remarkable.