9 habits of people who stay strong, even when life doesn’t go to plan (according to psychology)

As human beings, we all face trials and tribulations. And sometimes, life just doesn’t go according to plan.
Yet, some people seem to withstand adversity better than others.
These individuals don’t just survive—they thrive, despite the challenges they face. But what sets these people apart?
Psychology offers some fascinating insights into the habits of people who stay strong, even when life throws them a curveball. These habits may not make them immune to hardship, but they equip them to deal with it in a healthier, more productive way.
In this article, we’ll delve into nine habits of the mentally strong—those who navigate life’s ups and downs with grace and resilience.
1) They embrace change
Change is a constant in life. Yet, many of us resist it, fearing the unknown.
But those who stay strong, even when life doesn’t go to plan, have a different perspective.
Embracing change doesn’t mean that they’re immune to the fear or discomfort that comes with it. Instead, they acknowledge these feelings but don’t let them dictate their actions.
People who thrive amid adversity view change as an opportunity for growth and self-improvement. They’re flexible, adaptable, and open to new experiences.
They understand that things won’t always go their way, and they can’t control everything in life. But what they can control is their response to change.
This mindset empowers them to navigate life’s unpredictability with grace and resilience.
2) They practice self-care
In the face of adversity, it’s easy to neglect our own needs. But those who stay strong know the importance of taking care of themselves—physically, emotionally, and mentally.
Self-care isn’t a luxury. It’s a necessity for maintaining our health and wellbeing. It’s about recognizing our limits and giving ourselves permission to rest and recharge.
People who withstand life’s challenges make self-care a priority. They ensure they’re:
- Getting enough sleep
- Eating healthily
- Engaging in regular physical activity
They also take time to do things they enjoy, whether it’s reading a book, going for a walk, or spending time with loved ones.
Moreover, they understand the importance of mental self-care. This might mean:
- Practicing mindfulness
- Seeking support from a therapist
- Taking a few moments each day to reflect on their feelings
By taking care of themselves, they’re better equipped to cope with whatever life throws their way. They’re not just surviving—they’re thriving.
3) They accept failure as part of the journey
In a society that often equates success with happiness and self-worth, failure can be a tough pill to swallow. However, those who stay strong in the face of adversity see things differently.
Rather than viewing failure as a dead end, they see it as a detour. They understand that failure is not a reflection of their worth but an integral part of their journey towards success.
When they stumble, they don’t dwell on the setback. Instead, they take it as an opportunity to learn and grow.
They analyze what went wrong and how they can improve, then they dust themselves off and get back on track.
By embracing failure as a stepping stone rather than a stumbling block, they foster resilience and perseverance—traits that allow them to weather life’s ups and downs with grace.
4) They allow themselves to feel
Life can be tough, and it’s okay to admit it. Those who stay strong, even when life doesn’t go according to plan, understand the importance of acknowledging their emotions, rather than suppressing them.
They don’t shy away from feelings of sadness, anger, or fear.
They let themselves feel these emotions in their raw and unfiltered form. They cry when they need to cry, scream when they need to scream.
But crucially, they don’t let these feelings consume them. They acknowledge their emotions as a natural response to their circumstances—a sign of their humanity, not a weakness.
By allowing themselves to feel, they create a space for healing and growth. It’s a process that’s often painful and uncomfortable, but one that ultimately strengthens their resilience and ability to cope with adversity.
5) They show compassion to others
People who stay strong when life doesn’t go as planned understand the value of empathy and compassion—not just for others, but for themselves as well.
They are often the first to lend a helping hand or a listening ear to those in need. They understand that everyone is fighting their own battles, some of which may not be visible to the naked eye.
Despite their own struggles, they make an effort to understand and empathize with the feelings and experiences of others.
They offer support and kindness, recognizing that we all have our moments of weakness and vulnerability.
But they also extend this compassion to themselves.
They are gentle with their own shortcomings and mistakes, understanding that self-criticism doesn’t help them grow, but compassion does.
By practicing kindness and empathy, they foster a sense of community and shared humanity—a powerful source of strength in times of adversity.
6) They don’t sweat the small stuff
Life is filled with minor inconveniences and frustrations – from traffic jams to misplaced keys, or even a spilled coffee. But those who stay strong amid life’s challenges don’t let these small setbacks derail their day.
They understand that these minor irritations are just that – minor. They don’t let a flat tire or a late bus ruin their mood or dictate the course of their day.
Instead, they take a deep breath, shrug it off, and move on. They save their energy and emotional bandwidth for the things that truly matter in life.
By focusing on the big picture and not sweating the small stuff, they maintain a positive outlook and keep their cool even when life doesn’t go according to plan. It’s an attitude we can all strive to adopt in our daily lives.
7) They find joy in the simple things
Life’s ups and downs are inevitable, but those who stay strong find a way to keep their spirits high, often by appreciating the simple things in life.
Maybe it’s the:
- Smell of fresh coffee in the morning
- Sound of their favorite song on the radio
- Feeling of a warm blanket on a cold day
These tiny moments of joy might seem insignificant to some, but to them, it’s these little things that make life worth living.
They understand that happiness doesn’t always come from grand achievements or big events – sometimes, it’s found in the most ordinary moments.
By finding joy in the simple things, they cultivate a sense of contentment and positivity that helps them stay strong, even when life takes an unexpected turn.
It’s a gentle reminder for us all to stop and smell the roses once in a while.
8) They set boundaries
It’s a harsh truth but an important one: Not everyone will respect your time, energy, or feelings. That’s why those who stay strong in the face of adversity understand the importance of setting boundaries.
Setting boundaries isn’t about being selfish or unkind. It’s about understanding your worth and respecting your own needs. It’s about saying “no” when you need to, without feeling guilty or apologetic.
People who thrive amid life’s challenges don’t let others take advantage of them.
They communicate their needs and expectations clearly, and they’re not afraid to distance themselves from situations or people who continually cross those boundaries.
Establishing and maintaining boundaries can be tough at first, but it’s crucial for mental and emotional well-being.
Remember, you deserve to be treated with respect and kindness – and sometimes, that means standing your ground.
9) They believe in themselves
At the end of the day, the most important habit of those who stay strong, even when life doesn’t go to plan, is a steadfast belief in themselves.
They trust in their ability to overcome challenges and navigate life’s twists and turns. They don’t let self-doubt or fear hold them back from pursuing their goals or standing up for what they believe in.
Their confidence isn’t rooted in arrogance or ignorance. It’s based on a deep-seated understanding of their strengths and capabilities, as well as an acceptance of their weaknesses.
Believing in oneself is more than just a feel-good mantra—it’s a fundamental cornerstone of resilience and strength.
So, no matter what life throws your way, remember this: You are capable. You are resilient. Believe in yourself and there’s nothing you can’t handle.
Wrapping up
Life is filled with ups and downs, and it’s normal to feel overwhelmed when things don’t go according to plan.
But remember: resilience is not a trait that people either have or do not have. It involves behaviors, thoughts, and actions that can be learned and developed by anyone.
These nine habits are a blueprint for fostering this resilience.
They’re not meant to be a quick fix or a cure-all for life’s challenges. Instead, they’re tools that can help you navigate the rough waters of life with grace and strength.
Maybe you already practice some of these habits. Perhaps others seem completely foreign to you. That’s okay. There’s no right or wrong way to be resilient.
The key is to find what works best for you and to remember that growth often comes from discomfort.
Believe in yourself, embrace the journey, and cultivate resilience one day at a time.