There’s a significant distinction between surviving in a relationship and truly thriving in it.

This difference, my friends, lies in the habits we cultivate. I’ve seen couples who’ve sparked the flame of romance for decades and you know what? It’s not about grand gestures or fairy-tale moments.

No, it’s about the little things; the daily habits that make all the difference. These couples know that love is a verb and they practice it relentlessly.

As Tina Fey, founder of Love Connection blog and a relationship expert, I’ve seen such habits in action. And guess what? I’m sharing them with you today!

Here are 8 habits of couples who keep the romance strong even after decades together. They’re simple yet powerful, and with some dedication, they can transform your love life.

1) They prioritize communication

Let’s get this straight – communication is key. Not just in the early days of dating, but even after years of being together.

The couples I’ve seen who have kept their romance alive for decades are masters at this. They don’t just talk about the grocery list or the kids’ schedule. They make a point to share their feelings, their dreams, their fears.

I’m not saying you need to have deep, emotional conversations every single night. But regular, meaningful dialogue? Absolutely essential.

Think about it. The more you understand each other, the stronger your bond becomes. It’s as simple as that.

So, if you want to keep the spark alive even after years together, make communication a habit. And remember, it’s not just about talking – it’s about listening too.

2) They keep the adventure alive

Another habit that successful couples have mastered? They keep the adventure alive.

No, I’m not suggesting you climb Everest together (unless that’s your thing!). Adventure can be as simple as trying a new recipe together, exploring a new neighborhood, or even watching a movie outside your usual genre.

The point is to keep discovering new things – about each other and the world around you.

As the great Helen Keller once said, “Life is either a daring adventure or nothing at all.” The same applies to relationships.

And this isn’t just Tina Fey, relationship expert, telling you this. I’ve been married for years, and I can confidently say that keeping the spirit of adventure alive has been a key ingredient in my own love story.

So go out there and create some exciting memories together. After all, these shared experiences are what will keep you connected over time.

3) They nurture their individuality

Now, this might sound counterintuitive, but bear with me. The strongest couples I know are made up of two strong individuals. They understand that to love someone else fully, they must first love and respect themselves.

This doesn’t mean they are selfish or inconsiderate. On the contrary, they know that by nurturing their own interests, hobbies, and friendships outside the relationship, they bring more richness and depth to their partnership.

And yes, this is something I delve deeper into in my book, “Breaking The Attachment: How To Overcome Codependency in Your Relationship“.

It’s a common misconception that codependency is a sign of deep love, when in reality, it can stifle growth and breed resentment over time.

From personal experience and years of helping couples strengthen their relationships, I’ve learned that maintaining a sense of individuality is crucial. It allows for growth and keeps the relationship dynamic.

So go ahead, take that yoga class you’ve been eyeing or spend an evening out with friends. Encourage your partner to do the same. You’ll both come back to each other enriched and with new stories to share.

4) They don’t shy away from conflict

Now, here’s a habit that might surprise you – successful couples don’t shy away from conflict.

Yes, you read that right. While conflict is often seen as a sign of trouble, it doesn’t have to be.

In fact, I’ve found that couples who keep the romance alive decades into their relationship have learned to see conflict as an opportunity – an opportunity to understand each other better, to grow as a couple and to deepen their bond.

They don’t use disagreements as a chance to attack each other but as a chance to solve problems together. They listen, they empathize, and they work towards a resolution that respects both partners’ needs and feelings.

At the end of the day, it’s not about winning an argument; instead, it’s understanding your partner and strengthening your relationship.

5) They appreciate the small things

This is a big one, folks. The couples I’ve known who have kept their romance burning for decades have this habit in common – they appreciate the small things.

It’s not the grand gestures or expensive gifts that keep the love alive. It’s the everyday moments of appreciation – a kiss on the forehead, a favorite meal cooked after a tiring day, or simply holding hands during a walk.

And trust me, this works. I’ll let you in on a personal secret. My day is made when my partner brings me a cup of coffee just the way I like it, every morning. It’s a small act, but it speaks volumes about his love and consideration.

So don’t underestimate the power of those little acts of kindness and love. They add up and make a huge difference in keeping the spark alive. Start noticing and appreciating them, and see the magic unfold in your relationship.

6) They accept each other’s flaws

Let’s get real here. No one is perfect. Not me, not you, not even those couples who seem to have it all figured out.

The couples who keep the romance strong even after decades together have learned to accept this truth – they accept each other’s flaws. They know that their partner isn’t perfect, and they’re okay with that.

They don’t expect perfection, nor do they try to change their partner. Instead, they embrace their differences, knowing that it’s these unique quirks and traits that make the person they love so special.

We all have our quirks and flaws, don’t we? Accepting them and loving your partner regardless is what real, enduring love looks like. It’s raw, it’s honest, and it’s incredibly beautiful.

7) They keep their promises

Trust me on this one, consistency and reliability are incredibly sexy. The couples who have kept their romance alive for decades understand the importance of keeping promises.

It’s not just about the big stuff, like staying faithful or being there in times of crisis, but the small things are what truly matter, like remembering to pick up milk on the way home or showing up on time for dinner.

These might seem trivial, but every kept promise builds trust and deepens your bond. As the renowned American author, Stephen Covey said, “Trust is the glue of life. It’s the most essential ingredient in effective communication.”

In my own relationship, I’ve seen how much it means when we keep our word to each other, no matter how small the promise may seem. It’s a reassurance – a sign that we can count on each other.

8) They don’t take each other for granted

Let’s face it. It’s easy to start taking your partner for granted, especially after you’ve been together for a long time. But the couples who maintain a strong romance even after decades together? They never fall into this trap.

They know that love isn’t a one-time deal, but a daily choice. They choose to appreciate their partner every single day, not just on special occasions.

They say “thank you” for the little things. They remind each other of their love. They never forget that their partner is a person who deserves respect and appreciation, just as much as they do.

This isn’t always easy. We all have our off days when we might forget to show our appreciation. But it’s important to make conscious efforts not to take your partner for granted.

Being taken for granted can feel incredibly hurtful over time. So, remind your partner of their worth, of why you love them, and how much they mean to you.

This raw honesty and appreciation can keep the spark alive even after decades together. It’s not about grand gestures or expensive gifts; it’s about constant gratitude and never taking your partner’s love for granted.

Conclusion

So, there you have it – 8 habits that can help keep the romance strong even after decades together. None of these habits are rocket science. They’re simple, everyday practices that can make a world of difference.

And if you’re looking for more insights into building a healthy, loving relationship, I invite you to check out my book, “Breaking The Attachment: How To Overcome Codependency in Your Relationship“.

It’s packed with practical advice and strategies to help you build a stronger, healthier relationship.

Love is a journey, not a destination. So keep learning, keep growing and most importantly, keep loving. Here’s to many more decades of strong romance!