Some people seem to navigate social situations effortlessly, while others struggle without even realizing it. Social intelligence isn’t just about being friendly—it’s about understanding how your words and actions affect others.

The tricky part? People with low social intelligence often don’t recognize the mistakes they’re making. They may come across as rude, dismissive, or awkward without meaning to, and it can hold them back in both personal and professional life.

The good news is that social intelligence can be improved, just like any other skill. The first step is recognizing where you might be going wrong.

Here are eight common mistakes people make without realizing—and how to avoid them.

1) They dominate conversations

Some people love to talk—but they don’t always realize when they’re talking too much.

A key part of social intelligence is knowing how to balance a conversation.

People with low social intelligence often dominate discussions, interrupt others, or steer every topic back to themselves. They may think they’re being engaging, but in reality, they’re pushing people away.

Good conversations are a two-way street. If you find yourself doing most of the talking, take a step back. Ask more questions, listen actively, and give others space to share their thoughts. It’s a small change that makes a big difference in how people perceive you.

2) They don’t pick up on social cues

I used to work with someone who never seemed to realize when a conversation was over.

No matter how many signals people gave—glancing at their phones, turning their bodies away, giving short responses—he would just keep talking. It wasn’t that he was trying to be annoying; he just didn’t notice the signs.

Social cues are subtle but important. Things like tone of voice, body language, and facial expressions all give clues about how someone is feeling. People with low social intelligence often miss these signals, which can make them seem pushy, awkward, or even rude without meaning to.

Once I started paying closer attention to how people responded to me in conversations, I realized how much I had been missing. If someone looks distracted or gives short answers, it’s probably time to wrap things up.

Learning to read these small signs can make a huge difference in how smoothly your interactions go.

3) They overshare personal details

Some people open up too much, too soon—and it can make others uncomfortable.

Sharing personal stories can help build connections, but there’s a fine line between being open and oversharing. People with low social intelligence often don’t recognize when they’ve crossed it.

They might talk about relationship problems, financial struggles, or even medical issues with acquaintances or colleagues who aren’t prepared for that level of detail.

Studies have shown that strong relationships develop gradually through mutual self-disclosure. When someone shares too much, too fast, it can make others feel uneasy rather than closer.

Socially intelligent people understand that trust is built over time and adjust how much they share based on the situation and the relationship.

4) They don’t know when to apologize

Apologies can strengthen relationships—but only when they’re used correctly.

People with low social intelligence often struggle with this. Some refuse to apologize even when they’ve clearly upset someone, brushing things off or getting defensive.

Others go too far in the opposite direction, saying “sorry” constantly, even for things that don’t require an apology. Both extremes can hurt their relationships and make interactions feel uncomfortable.

A well-timed, sincere apology shows emotional awareness and maturity. It’s not about taking blame for everything—it’s about recognizing when your actions have affected someone else and making it right. Knowing when (and how) to apologize is a key part of strong social skills.

5) They don’t show genuine interest in others

Everyone wants to feel heard, valued, and understood. But people with low social intelligence often fail to make others feel this way—not because they don’t care, but because they don’t realize the importance of showing it.

They might listen just enough to respond, rather than truly engaging. They might forget names, overlook details, or never ask follow-up questions. Over time, this makes people feel unimportant, even if it’s not intentional.

The best connections come from genuine curiosity and care. A simple question about someone’s weekend, remembering something they mentioned before, or truly listening without waiting for your turn to speak can mean more than you realize.

Making others feel seen is one of the most valuable social skills you can develop.

6) They struggle to accept feedback

Hearing that you’ve made a mistake or could do something better isn’t always easy. But how you handle feedback says a lot about your social intelligence.

Some people get defensive right away, shutting down any chance for growth. Others take it so personally that they dwell on it for days, letting it affect their confidence. Neither reaction is helpful.

The truth is, feedback isn’t always an attack—it’s often an opportunity. Learning to pause, listen, and reflect before responding can make a huge difference. Not every piece of criticism is valid, but being open to hearing it shows maturity, self-awareness, and a willingness to grow.

7) They make everything a competition

Some people turn every conversation into a chance to one-up others. If you share good news, they have something better. If you talk about a challenge, they’ve had it worse. Instead of connecting, it feels like you’re constantly being measured against them.

People with low social intelligence often do this without realizing. They may think they’re relating by sharing their own experiences, but instead, they make others feel unheard or diminished.

Not every story needs a comparison. Sometimes, the best response is simply listening, acknowledging, and celebrating or sympathizing with the other person. Real connections come from shared understanding, not competition.

8) They don’t recognize how they make others feel

At the heart of social intelligence is one simple skill: awareness.

People may forget your words, but they’ll always remember how you made them feel. Those with low social intelligence often don’t notice when they’ve upset, annoyed, or frustrated someone.

They miss the sighs, the forced smiles, the subtle shifts in tone. Over time, this can push people away without them even realizing why.

The ability to step outside of yourself and consider how your actions affect others is what separates socially intelligent people from those who struggle. Paying attention, adjusting when needed, and making others feel comfortable isn’t about being perfect—it’s about being aware.

Awareness changes everything

Social intelligence isn’t something you’re born with or without—it’s something you can develop.

Psychologists have long studied the impact of social awareness on relationships, careers, and overall well-being. Research even suggests that emotional intelligence, which includes social awareness, can be a stronger predictor of success than IQ.

The way we navigate conversations, read emotions, and respond to others shapes our personal and professional lives in ways we often don’t realize.

The good news? Small changes make a big difference. Noticing how people react to you, listening more than you speak, and paying attention to the energy you bring into a room can transform the way others perceive you.

Social intelligence isn’t about being perfect—it’s about being present.