Have you ever tried to share something meaningful—only for the other person to hijack the conversation and make it all about them?
You start talking about your struggles, and suddenly they’re explaining how they’ve had it worse. You celebrate a win, and somehow, it becomes a comparison game.

This kind of behavior isn’t just annoying—it’s often a sign of emotional immaturity. People who constantly turn the spotlight back on themselves usually haven’t yet developed the emotional awareness, empathy, or boundaries that come with true maturity.

Here are 7 classic signs of emotional immaturity that people who make everything about themselves tend to display.

1. They constantly need validation to feel secure

Emotionally immature people have a fragile sense of self. They often seek validation from others not out of confidence—but out of insecurity.

When you share something, they might respond with, “Oh yeah, that happened to me too!” or “That’s nothing, wait till you hear my story!” It’s not necessarily arrogance—it’s a deep need to feel seen, valued, and significant.

Psychologically speaking, this behavior stems from external locus of evaluation: their sense of worth depends on how others see them. Instead of finding stability within themselves, they use others as mirrors.

True emotional maturity means being able to celebrate others’ experiences without turning them into your own reflection. But for the self-centered person, every conversation feels like a test of their importance.

2. They lack empathy for other people’s emotions

Empathy requires emotional regulation—the ability to set aside your own feelings to connect with someone else’s.

But emotionally immature people struggle with this. When someone else is upset, they don’t know how to hold space. They might minimize, interrupt, or immediately share their own story instead of listening.

It’s not always malicious. Sometimes, they genuinely think they’re “relating.” But what’s really happening is that they’re redirecting the emotional energy back to themselves because someone else’s pain feels uncomfortable or unfamiliar.

Emotionally mature people understand that empathy is not about competing experiences—it’s about presence. The emotionally immature person hasn’t yet learned that silence and listening can be far more powerful than speaking.

3. They interpret everything personally

One hallmark of emotional immaturity is ego centrality—the unconscious belief that everything somehow relates to you.

You can see this in people who overreact to neutral comments or assume others’ behavior is directed at them. If a friend doesn’t reply quickly, they think, “What did I do wrong?” If someone expresses a different opinion, they feel attacked.

When they make everything about themselves, it’s not just in conversation—it’s in perception. Their world revolves around their feelings, their assumptions, and their need to feel safe.

Emotional maturity, on the other hand, means recognizing that most things in life aren’t personal. People have their own thoughts, emotions, and reasons that have nothing to do with you. But to the self-centered person, that realization feels threatening—because it means they aren’t the center of the universe.

4. They struggle to tolerate emotional discomfort

People who make everything about themselves often do so as a defense mechanism.

When confronted with uncomfortable emotions—sadness, guilt, fear, or even someone else’s vulnerability—they shift the focus back to themselves to regain control. It’s an unconscious way of escaping discomfort.

For example, if you tell them you’re hurt by something they said, they might respond with:

“You think you’re hurt? I’ve had people say way worse to me!”

Instead of staying present with your feelings, they redirect the emotional tension. In psychology, this is a form of emotional avoidance—a refusal to sit with difficult feelings, whether their own or someone else’s.

Emotionally mature people know that growth often comes through discomfort. They can handle being wrong, being vulnerable, or being silent while someone else feels pain. The emotionally immature person can’t—so they make it about them instead.

5. They lack boundaries and confuse connection with control

For emotionally immature people, relationships can easily become blurred spaces where personal boundaries disappear.

They might overshare about themselves, interrupt your stories, or get frustrated if you don’t respond the way they expect. It’s as if your role in the conversation is to serve their emotional needs.

This often comes from a fusion mindset—the inability to distinguish where they end and others begin. They equate attention with affection, and control with connection.

When you share something personal, they might immediately offer advice or judgment, not realizing that you didn’t ask for it. Why? Because they believe emotional involvement means having a say in your experience.

True connection doesn’t require control. It requires respect—and emotionally mature people know how to be close without taking over.

6. They struggle to self-reflect or admit fault

Another major sign of emotional immaturity is defensiveness.

People who make everything about themselves rarely pause to ask, “Could I be part of the problem?” Instead, they justify, deflect, or blame others. They live in a world where everything is an external issue—never an internal lesson.

This lack of self-reflection is rooted in ego protection. Their self-image is fragile, so acknowledging flaws feels dangerous. It threatens the illusion of being “right” or “special.”

But emotional growth demands introspection. Mature people can observe their own patterns without shame. They can apologize, adjust, and grow.

The self-centered person, however, stays stuck in a loop—repeating the same relational mistakes because they can’t look inward without feeling attacked.

7. They seek attention instead of authenticity

At the core of emotional immaturity is a desperate need to be seen—but not necessarily understood.

These people crave attention, praise, or sympathy, but avoid true vulnerability. They might dominate conversations, exaggerate emotions, or create drama just to stay relevant. But the moment the attention fades, they feel anxious or invisible.

This is often tied to an unintegrated inner child—a part of them that never felt truly accepted. So they perform instead of connect. They entertain instead of reveal.

Emotionally mature people, by contrast, don’t need to be the loudest in the room. They find fulfillment in authenticity, not applause. They can share space, share silence, and share emotions without losing their sense of self.

How to deal with people who make everything about themselves

You can’t force emotional maturity on anyone—but you can protect your own peace.

Here are a few tips:

• Set clear boundaries. Don’t over-explain, justify, or try to “fix” them. If a conversation becomes one-sided, gently steer it back or end it.

• Don’t take it personally. Remember, their behavior reflects their emotional stage, not your worth.

• Model emotional maturity. Stay calm, self-aware, and grounded. Sometimes, your composure is the mirror that highlights their lack of it.

• Limit your emotional investment. You can be kind without being consumed.

Emotional immaturity often reveals itself through how people handle other people’s emotions. If they can’t hold space for anyone but themselves, it’s not your job to teach them—it’s your job to maintain your boundaries.

Final thought

People who make everything about themselves aren’t necessarily bad or selfish at their core—they’re often emotionally underdeveloped.

They haven’t yet learned that empathy doesn’t diminish them, that listening isn’t losing, and that real connection isn’t about control.

The good news? Emotional maturity can grow with self-awareness. And the moment we stop making everything about ourselves, we finally make room for something greater—understanding, connection, and peace.