Confidence isn’t just about how you feel—it’s also about how others perceive you. And sometimes, small habits can make people think you lack confidence, even if that’s not the case.

The tricky part? Most of us don’t even realize we’re doing these things. They’re subtle, everyday behaviors that can send the wrong message without us meaning to.

The good news is that once you know what to look for, you can start making small changes that have a big impact.

Here are nine little things that might be making people question your confidence—and how to fix them.

1) Avoiding eye contact

Eye contact is one of the simplest ways to show confidence, yet many people struggle with it.

When you constantly look away or avoid meeting someone’s gaze, it can make you seem unsure of yourself—or even untrustworthy. People naturally associate steady eye contact with confidence, authority, and sincerity.

Of course, you don’t need to stare intensely at someone the whole time. The key is balance. Hold eye contact for a few seconds at a time, especially when listening or making an important point.

A little effort here can go a long way in how others perceive you.

2) Speaking too quietly

I used to have a bad habit of speaking too softly, especially in meetings or group conversations. I didn’t even realize I was doing it until someone asked me to repeat myself for the third time in a row.

The problem wasn’t that I didn’t have anything valuable to say—it was that my lack of volume made me seem unsure of myself. When you speak too quietly, people assume you don’t fully believe in what you’re saying.

Once I became aware of it, I made a conscious effort to speak up. I didn’t need to shout—just projecting my voice a little more made a huge difference. Not only did people take me more seriously, but I also started feeling more confident in myself.

3) Using too many filler words

Words like “um,” “uh,” “like,” and “you know” can sneak into your speech without you even realizing it. While they might seem harmless, they can make you sound hesitant or unprepared.

The human brain processes speech incredibly fast—about 600 words per minute—while most people speak at around 125–150 words per minute. That gap is why we sometimes feel the need to fill silence with unnecessary words.

But confident people embrace pauses. Instead of filling gaps with “um” or “like,” take a brief moment to gather your thoughts. It makes you sound more composed, thoughtful, and in control of the conversation.

4) Fidgeting too much

Constantly tapping your foot, playing with your hair, or shifting in your seat can make you seem nervous—even if you don’t feel that way. People naturally pick up on body language, and excessive fidgeting signals discomfort or insecurity.

Movements should be intentional and controlled. Confident people use gestures to emphasize their points, not to relieve nervous energy. If you catch yourself fidgeting, try grounding your hands on a table or keeping them relaxed at your sides.

Stillness, when paired with purposeful movement, makes you appear more self-assured and in control of any situation.

5) Apologizing too much

Saying “sorry” when it’s necessary is a sign of maturity, but over-apologizing can make you seem unsure of yourself. When you constantly apologize for things that don’t require an apology—like asking a question or taking up space—it can give the impression that you lack confidence.

People are more likely to respect and listen to someone who speaks with certainty. Instead of saying, “Sorry, can I ask a question?” try, “I have a question.” Small changes like this can make a big difference in how others perceive you.

Confidence isn’t about being rude or dismissive—it’s about owning your presence without feeling the need to apologize for it.

6) Struggling to accept compliments

When someone gives you a compliment, do you brush it off, downplay it, or immediately deflect with something negative about yourself? It might seem like humility, but it can actually make you appear insecure.

Confidence isn’t about arrogance—it’s about recognizing your own worth. When someone acknowledges something good about you, they mean it. Dismissing their words doesn’t just minimize your own value; it also makes the other person feel like their opinion doesn’t matter.

A simple “Thank you” is enough. Accepting a compliment with grace shows that you believe in yourself, and that belief is what makes others believe in you too.

7) Waiting for permission to speak

For a long time, I would hesitate before speaking up in conversations, especially in groups. I’d wait for the perfect moment, afraid of interrupting or saying something that didn’t add enough value. More often than not, the moment would pass, and I’d stay quiet.

The problem with this is that it makes you seem unsure of yourself. Confident people don’t wait for permission to share their thoughts—they trust that what they have to say is worth hearing.

You don’t need to dominate every conversation, but if you have something to contribute, say it. Your voice deserves space just as much as anyone else’s.

8) Not standing or sitting up straight

Your posture says a lot about you before you even speak. Slouching, hunching your shoulders, or keeping your head down can make you appear closed off or unsure of yourself. On the other hand, standing or sitting up straight instantly makes you look more confident and approachable.

Good posture isn’t just about appearance—it also affects how you feel. Studies have shown that maintaining an upright posture can actually boost feelings of confidence and reduce stress.

The next time you catch yourself slouching, take a deep breath, roll your shoulders back, and lift your head. Small adjustments like this can make a big difference in how others see you—and how you see yourself.

9) Doubting your own opinions

Nothing undermines confidence more than constantly second-guessing yourself. When you hesitate before sharing your thoughts or immediately backtrack when someone disagrees, it signals to others that you don’t trust your own judgment.

You don’t have to be right all the time—but you should believe in what you say. Own your opinions, even if they evolve over time. People respect those who stand by their ideas while remaining open to new perspectives.