Let’s rewind a few decades.

Back when landlines were a thing, jeans were impossibly high-waisted (before it became cool again), and everyone thought low-fat yogurt was the key to happiness—Gen X women were coming of age. They were bold, they were independent, and they were figuring it out without Google, therapy memes, or podcasts telling them how to set boundaries.

But here’s the thing: while there’s a lot to admire about Gen X grit, some of the habits women picked up in their 20s back then would raise major red flags today. If you’re a Gen Xer reading this, don’t worry—this isn’t a call-out. It’s a cultural reflection. Because let’s face it, the world has changed. And what was once considered “normal” might now get a gentle side-eye from a millennial therapist or a Gen Z TikToker.

So, let’s dive in.

1. Bragging About Being “One of the Guys”

If you came of age in the ’80s or ’90s, being “one of the guys” wasn’t just a personality trait—it was practically a badge of honor. Gen X women were often praised for having “no drama,” for drinking beer with the boys, for dissing makeup and other “girly” stuff.

Today? That kind of internalized misogyny doesn’t fly. Women are encouraged to support other women, not separate themselves from them.

Modern feminism says you don’t have to downplay your femininity to be taken seriously—and bonding over “not being like other girls” is no longer a flex.

2. Treating Burnout Like a Status Symbol

Back then, the grind was everything. Gen X women entered the workforce at a time when being overworked wasn’t just normalized—it was glorified.

Pulling all-nighters, never taking sick days, juggling it all without complaint? That was the dream.

Now we call it what it is: burnout. Self-care is no longer seen as selfish, and hustling yourself into exhaustion is viewed as harmful.

Mental health awareness has shifted the conversation, and younger generations are prioritizing balance over burnout.

3. Shaming “High-Maintenance” Women

Gen X women were often taught to keep things low-key. Don’t ask for too much. Don’t wear too much makeup. Don’t be too emotional.

Women who did were labeled high-maintenance, and the message was clear: chill out, or you’ll scare him away.

In today’s world, wanting what you want isn’t toxic—it’s empowered. Setting boundaries, expressing needs, and expecting effort in a relationship are all signs of self-respect, not extra baggage.

4. Putting Men on a Pedestal

Here’s a tough one. Many Gen X women grew up with the idea that landing a man—especially a certain type of man—was a life goal.

Whether it was the brooding artist or the ambitious suit-and-tie type, their happiness was often tied to being chosen by someone else.

Modern dating culture has flipped this script. Today’s women are less interested in being chosen and more interested in doing the choosing. Love is still valued, but so is independence. A partner is a bonus, not a validation.

5. Tearing Other Women Down Over Men

Raise your hand if you ever heard or said, “I don’t trust her around my boyfriend.”

Jealousy was often misdirected at other women instead of the guy who was actually crossing the line. Women were pitted against each other, competing instead of connecting.

Now? Sisterhood is trending. “Fix your man, not your friend” is a common refrain on social media, and more women are realizing that loyalty should go both ways—especially in female friendships.

6. Making Diet Culture a Personality

Gen X women grew up in peak diet culture. Snackwell cookies. SlimFast. Counting every calorie.

Talking about how “bad” you were for eating a slice of cake. For many, disordered eating wasn’t a disorder—it was a lifestyle.

These days, we’re starting to unlearn that. While body image pressures still exist, there’s a stronger push toward intuitive eating, body neutrality, and rejecting the shame spiral of weight obsession.

Calling a salad “being good” just sounds…sad now.

7. Avoiding Therapy Like the Plague

Therapy used to be something you whispered about. “She’s seeing someone” didn’t mean a new relationship—it meant she was in therapy, and people would tilt their heads like, “Oh… is she okay?”

Gen X women were taught to tough it out. Talk to your friends, maybe. Cry in the bathroom, sure. But a therapist? That felt indulgent, dramatic, or even shameful.

Fast-forward to now: therapy is seen as strength. Being in therapy is cool. It’s proactive, empowering, and often necessary. Emotional fluency isn’t a weakness—it’s a skill. And younger generations are embracing it without apology.

8. Staying in Relationships Just to Avoid Being Alone

This one hits home for a lot of Gen X women. Whether it was marriage, a long-term relationship, or that situationship you kept “trying to fix,” staying meant safety. Meant success. Being single past a certain age wasn’t just lonely—it was stigmatized.

Today, being alone isn’t the worst-case scenario. In fact, for many women, it’s a season of growth, self-discovery, and freedom. The idea that your worth is tied to your relationship status is slowly fading—and thank goodness for that.

A Note to Gen X Women (and Everyone Else)

If you read through this list and thought, “Wow, I did every single one of those things,” you’re not alone. Most of us did. That was the culture. That was survival.

But culture evolves—and so do we.

There’s something beautiful about being able to look back and say, “I didn’t know better then, but I do now.” Growth doesn’t mean shaming our past selves. It means honoring how far we’ve come.

Gen X women laid the groundwork for so many of the freedoms we enjoy today. They fought for a seat at the table, often without a blueprint. Yes, they absorbed some toxic lessons along the way—but they also built the resilience that lets us unlearn them now.

So let’s keep growing. Let’s have these conversations. Let’s keep showing up for ourselves and each other.

Because the truth is, every generation has their blind spots. And every generation has the power to heal them.