It’s a tough pill to swallow, but sometimes we become the very thing we criticize.

Ironically, we might not even realize that we’re morphing into the toxic person we’ve always complained about.

The telltale signs are there – subtle yet revealing.

This piece will serve as your mirror, reflecting back to you eight signs that you may be turning toxic.

Get ready for some self-introspection. It’s time to face reality and make a change, if needed. After all, it’s better to catch ourselves before we fall too deep into the toxicity trap. We owe it to ourselves and those around us.

Let’s dive in and explore these signs together.

1) Constant criticism

Criticism can be constructive, but there’s a line. When it becomes incessant and unyielding, it’s a sign of toxicity.

We’ve all encountered that person who never seems satisfied, always finding fault in others. It’s exhausting and demoralizing to be around them.

But have you ever paused to consider if you’re becoming that person?

Do you find yourself frequently criticizing others, even when it’s unwarranted? Are you constantly nitpicking on minor mistakes, or focusing more on shortcomings rather than strengths?

If this sounds familiar, it could be a sign that you’re turning into the toxic person you always complained about.

Everyone has their flaws – including us. Learning to accept and navigate through these imperfections is a key aspect of healthy relationships.

2) The blame game

Blaming others for our own mistakes is a classic sign of toxic behavior. It’s a defensive mechanism, a way of avoiding accountability for our own actions.

I remember a time when I had a huge project at work. It was demanding and stressful, and I was responsible for managing it. When things started to go south, instead of looking at my own role in the failures, I found myself blaming my team members for every little thing that went wrong.

Looking back, I realize that I was avoiding taking responsibility. It was easier to point fingers at others than admit that I had also contributed to the problem.

The truth is, we all make mistakes. It’s part of being human. The key is to acknowledge them, learn from them, and try to do better next time.

If you find yourself blaming others when things go wrong, it might be time for some self-reflection. Are you becoming the toxic person you always complained about?

3) Negativity bias

Negativity bias is a psychological phenomenon where individuals give more weight to negative experiences than positive ones. It’s like a dark cloud that overshadows all the good around us, focusing only on the bad.

For instance, you could receive numerous compliments on a project at work, but one minor criticism might be all you remember. This bias towards negativity can turn an otherwise balanced viewpoint into a skewed, pessimistic one.

Research shows that our brains are actually wired to pay more attention to negative experiences. It’s an evolutionary survival mechanism that helped our ancestors stay alert to dangers.

But in our modern world, this bias can lead to chronic negativity and toxic behavior. If you find yourself constantly dwelling on the negatives and ignoring the positives, it might be a sign of becoming the toxic person you always complained about.

Maintaining a balanced perspective is key to healthy relationships and mental well-being.

4) Living with a large ego

In Buddhism, the ego is seen as the root of suffering. It’s the part of us that clings, desires, and tries to control everything around us. Letting go of our ego is a fundamental teaching in Buddhism, and it’s a significant step towards achieving inner peace.

I’ve noticed that those who are often deemed toxic have a pronounced ego. They constantly want to be right, they seek validation, and they try to control others.

Now, I cover this extensively in my book, Hidden Secrets of Buddhism: How To Live With Maximum Impact and Minimum Ego. I delve into how understanding and taming our ego can lead to healthier relationships and a more fulfilling life.

If you find yourself frequently engaging in power struggles, unwilling to admit when you’re wrong, or always needing to be in control, it might be your ego taking over. It could be a sign that you’re becoming the toxic person you always complained about.

By acknowledging our ego and learning to let go of these unnecessary attachments, we can begin our journey towards becoming more compassionate and understanding individuals. It’s a transformative process – one worth undertaking for a happier life.

5) Lack of empathy

Empathy, the ability to understand and share the feelings of others, is a fundamental aspect of healthy relationships. Without it, connections turn cold and impersonal.

There was a time when I was so caught up in my own problems that I failed to recognize the struggles of those around me. A close friend was going through a tough time, and instead of offering support, I dismissed their feelings because I was too absorbed in my own issues.

That lack of empathy created a rift in our friendship. It made me realize how important it is to step outside our own perspective and truly listen to what others are experiencing.

If you find yourself brushing off people’s feelings or struggles, or if you’re often indifferent to their pain, it could be a sign that you’re becoming the toxic person you always complained about.

Empathy is not just about understanding others. It’s also about showing that you care. And sometimes, that’s all a person needs to feel better.

6) Excessive positivity

Surprising, isn’t it? We often associate toxicity with negativity. But too much of anything, even positivity, can be harmful.

This is known as toxic positivity, where you downplay negative emotions and experiences to maintain an excessively positive facade. It’s like painting a smile on your face while ignoring the storm brewing inside.

Imagine telling a friend about a problem you’re facing, and all they say is “Just stay positive!” It dismisses your feelings and minimizes your experience. Over time, this can lead to emotional suppression and disconnection.

If you find yourself constantly dismissing negative emotions, either your own or others’, with relentless positivity, it might be a sign that you’re becoming the toxic person you always complained about.

It’s okay to not be okay sometimes. Real strength lies in acknowledging our emotions, both positive and negative, and dealing with them in a healthy manner.

7) Gossiping

Gossiping might seem like harmless chatter to some, but it’s a form of toxicity. It breeds negativity and can harm relationships.

When we share or indulge in unnecessary details about others, particularly when they’re not present, it shows a lack of respect. More so, it reflects more on our character than the person we’re talking about.

If you find yourself constantly gossiping about others, even if it feels like innocent chatter, it could be a sign that you’re becoming the toxic person you always complained about.

Everyone has their own battles to fight. Instead of focusing on others’ lives, let’s put that energy into improving our own. Let’s strive for conversations that uplift and inspire, rather than those that belittle and judge.

8) Inability to apologize

An apology is more than just a word; it’s an acknowledgment of one’s mistakes and a promise to rectify them. It’s a sign of maturity and emotional intelligence.

If you find it difficult to apologize, even when you know you’re wrong, it’s a red flag. It shows an unwillingness to take responsibility for your actions, which can lead to resentment and broken relationships.

Remember, we all make mistakes. It’s part of being human. What matters is our ability to accept them, apologize sincerely, and learn from them. That’s how we grow and become better versions of ourselves.

Final thoughts: It’s about self-awareness

At the core of it all, recognizing and overcoming toxic behaviors is deeply rooted in self-awareness.

It’s about understanding our actions, acknowledging our shortcomings, and taking steps towards change. It’s about breaking the cycle and becoming a better version of ourselves.

In my book, Hidden Secrets of Buddhism: How To Live With Maximum Impact and Minimum Ego, I delve into the importance of self-awareness and how it can lead to a more fulfilling life.

We’ve explored eight signs that you’re becoming the toxic person you always complained about. If you found yourself nodding along to some or all of these points, don’t despair.

Rrecognition is the first step towards change. You’ve already taken that step by reading this article. Now, it’s time to embark on the journey of transformation.

Take time to reflect on your actions and behaviors. Embrace the opportunity to grow and improve. It’s an ongoing process, but one that will lead to healthier relationships and a happier you.

After all, we’re all works in progress. Let’s strive to be the best version of ourselves that we can be.