There’s a fine line between lecturing and genuinely advising. That line? Freedom of choice.

Grandparents, by default, have a wealth of wisdom to share. But the key is to offer it in a way that allows their grandkids to make their own choices, while still guiding them towards making the right ones.

It’s about inspiring, not dictating. And believe me, there are certain habits that help turn that wisdom into life-changing advice.

So let’s dive into seven habits of grandparents who know how to truly influence their grandkids’ lives.

1) Listening first

When it comes to offering advice, there’s a lot to be said for just being a good listener.

Grandparents with a knack for giving life-changing advice don’t jump in with their wisdom at the first opportunity. Instead, they take the time to listen to what their grandkids are saying.

The power of active listening cannot be overstated. It shows respect for the other person’s point of view and helps build a bond of trust. And trust is the cornerstone of influence.

Giving your full attention to your grandkids when they’re talking about their worries, dreams, or everyday stories shows them that their thoughts and feelings matter.

It’s only after understanding their perspective that these grandparents offer their advice. And because it’s based on a true understanding of the situation, this advice is much more likely to hit home.

So remember to listen first, advise later. It’s an approach that can genuinely transform lives.

2) Sharing personal experiences

There’s an old saying that goes, “Experience is the best teacher.” I’ve found this to be especially true when it comes to influencing my grandkids.

One of the most impactful pieces of advice I ever gave came from a personal experience. My granddaughter was going through a rough patch at school. She was struggling with her grades, feeling overwhelmed, and starting to lose her love for learning.

Instead of lecturing her about the importance of education, I told her about the time when I was in high school. I shared how I too had struggled with Chemistry, how it made me feel like a failure, and how close I came to giving up.

But then, I told her about my teacher who saw my struggle and offered to help. With his guidance, I developed a study plan, learned to ask for help when needed, and eventually ended up acing the subject in the final exam.

Sharing this personal story not only made my advice more relatable but also showed my granddaughter that it’s okay to struggle and ask for help. And guess what? Her attitude towards school improved, she sought help from her teachers, and her grades started improving.

Personal experiences can make advice more relatable, understandable and impactful. So don’t shy away from sharing your own stories when advising your grandkids.

3) Leading by example

Actions speak louder than words. This is especially true when it comes to influencing others.

In a study, it was found that children learn more from what they see adults do than from what they are told. It’s called observational learning, and it’s a fundamental way in which we all learn, especially during our formative years.

Grandparents who make a positive impact on their grandkids’ lives understand this and make a conscious effort to lead by example. They demonstrate the behaviors and attitudes they hope to instill in their grandkids.

Whether it’s reading a book every day, maintaining a healthy lifestyle, or simply treating others with kindness and respect, these grandparents understand that their actions can have a more profound impact on their grandkids than any advice they might give.

So if you want your advice to genuinely change your grandkids’ lives, remember to practice what you preach. Your actions can be the most powerful advice you ever give.

4) Offering unconditional support

Life can be challenging, especially for youngsters navigating their way through it. In these times, knowing they have an unwavering support system in their grandparents can make all the difference.

Grandparents who make a lasting impact provide a safe haven for their grandkids. They offer support without judgement, and encouragement without conditions. They let their grandkids know that they are there for them, no matter what.

This unconditional support builds confidence in grandkids. It gives them the courage to face challenges, knowing they have someone who believes in them even when they find it hard to believe in themselves.

So, be that pillar of support your grandkids can lean on. It reassures them that no matter how tough things get, they’re not alone. And sometimes, that’s the most powerful advice of all.

5) Being patient

Patience is something I’ve had to learn and relearn throughout my life. It’s a trait that isn’t always easy to hold onto, especially when you’re eager to see your grandkids make the right choices.

But I’ve realized that rushing them or pressuring them into decisions often does more harm than good. It can lead to resentment, anxiety, and even rebellion.

The most impactful advice often comes when they are ready to hear it, not necessarily when we are ready to give it.

So, I’ve learned to bide my time, to wait for those teachable moments when they are open and receptive. And when those moments come, I offer my advice gently and respectfully.

Patience gives your grandkids the space to grow and learn at their own pace. It shows them that you trust their judgement and believe in their ability to make the right decisions. And that can be a game-changer in their journey to adulthood.

6) Encouraging curiosity

A curious mind is a growing mind. Grandparents who have a significant influence on their grandkids’ lives often encourage curiosity and foster a love for learning.

They ask open-ended questions that stimulate thought and invite their grandkids to explore different perspectives. They show enthusiasm for new ideas and make learning an adventure.

Encouraging curiosity not only makes their advice more engaging but also helps their grandkids become independent thinkers. It equips them with the ability to question, explore, and arrive at their own conclusions.

So, don’t just give advice; inspire curiosity. It will empower your grandkids to seek knowledge and make informed decisions throughout their lives.

7) Expressing love and affirmation

At the end of the day, nothing influences more powerfully than love. Grandparents who leave a lasting imprint on their grandkids’ lives do so by expressing their love and affirmation freely and frequently.

They let their grandkids know, in words and actions, that they are loved unconditionally. They celebrate their achievements, encourage their efforts, and affirm their self-worth.

This love and affirmation boosts their grandkids’ confidence and self-esteem. It reassures them that they are valued, capable, and loved, no matter what. And this sense of security can be a deciding factor in the choices they make and the paths they choose in life.