Being a grandparent is an absolute delight. However, you sometimes wonder if your grandkids actually look forward to your visits, or if they’re just being nice.

You see, the magic of grandparenting comes down to connection. Forcing kids to enjoy your company and abide by your old-school rules is like manipulation – it may work temporarily, but then, you’ll become the dreaded visitor.

Crafting a genuinely fun and engaging bond, on the other hand, is more about influence. We want to guide our grandkids, making our visits joyful, memorable experiences they choose and long for.

Wondering how to become such a cool grandparent? We got you covered! These eight time-tested tips are going to transform how your grandkids perceive your visits.

Below is what you’ll learn in “The Art of Grandparenting: 8 Things that Make Grandkids Actually Look Forward to Your Visit”.

1) Listening and learning

Grandparenting is not just about influencing but also about listening and learning from your grandkids.

Think about it – kids are constantly brimming with new ideas, insights, and stories. A visit from their grandparent can be boring if it’s just filled with counseling sessions. And while it is essential to impart wisdom, it’s just as crucial to give them a chance to share their world with you.

The power lies in the ability to create an environment where your grandchildren feel comfortable expressing themselves. They should feel excited to share with you their little achievements, their school tales, and all the latest trends they find ‘cool’.

Listening creates a balance in your relationship. Not to mention how it takes off the pressure from the grandkids to act in a certain way. Instead, they look forward to your visits because they feel valued and heard.

So the next time, you might want to start your visit with “Tell me about your day” before delving into the lessons of life. However, do it genuinely if you want to avoid coming off as manipulative.

2) Embrace their interests

Here’s the thing- every child has a unique passion. For my oldest grandson, it’s all about soccer. With the youngest granddaughter, it’s the world of art. And I quickly learned they loved talking about it, teaching me about it, and seeing me take interest.

For instance, my grandson would spend hours explaining the minute details of soccer tactics. And yes, some of it went right over my head, but seeing his face light up as he made me rewatch his favorite Messi goal for the third time, was priceless.

On the other hand, my granddaughter introduced me to the vibrant world of painting. And let’s be honest, my first painting resembled a toddler’s doodle. Still, she proudly pinned it on her bedroom wall, declaring I was her ‘best student ever’.

The point here is not to become an expert, but to embrace what matters to them. Trust me, taking part in their hobbies, no matter how ‘young’ or ‘silly’ they seem, can do wonders for your bond.

And soon enough, they’ll be eagerly awaiting your visits, not just for your legendary bedtime stories, but also for a chance to proudly showcase their interests to their coolest grandparent.

3) Shared experiences

Did you know that people are more likely to form stronger bonds with those who they have shared experiences with? It makes sense when you think about it. Experiencing something together creates a memory that both of you can look back on fondly.

Now, how can we as grandparents make the most of this? The answer is – create shared experiences with our grandchildren.

It doesn’t have to be anything grandiose. It could be something as simple as baking cookies for the first time together, watching the latest superhero movie they’re obsessed with or even starting a small garden in your backyard.

The key here is to involve them in the activity. Let them take the reins and make some decisions. This not only makes them feel important, but also enhances their problem-solving abilities.

These simple shared experiences can turn into cherished memories, making your grandkids eagerly anticipate your next visit!

4) Compassionate boundaries

Establishing boundaries with grandkids might not, at first glance, sound like a tactic for making visits more enjoyable. However, let me tell you, it’s a powerful tool in the art of grandparenting.

While we want to be seen as the ‘fun’ grandparents, constant pandering can lead to a lack of respect for rules. But, if your grandkids know that there are certain lines not to be crossed, even while having fun, they learn to respect your authority.

However, the trick is to communicate these boundaries with love and understanding. Severe reprimands or a harsh tone can scare them away. Instead, explain why these rules are essential in a way they’d understand. Make it a conversation, not a lecture.

This way, they not only abide by the rules, but even feel secure and loved knowing that you care about their well-being. Over time, they’ll realize that your visits are not only about fun and games but also about learning important life skills.

And yes, they’ll look forward to your visits, even with the ‘rules’!

5) Unconditional love and support

The power of unconditional love in grandparenting cannot be understated. At the end of the day, your grandchildren need to feel like they have a safe and secure relationship with you where they are free to be themselves without the fear of judgement.

You might not always understand their world or agree with their choices, but the ability to provide unwavering support, regardless of circumstances, will forge a bond that’s unlike any other.

Remember, you’re not just their grandparent, but also their friend, confidant, and biggest cheerleader. In a world where they may face judgment or pressures from all sides, your home should be their safe haven.

The more love and support they feel from you, the more inclined they’ll be to spend time with you, share their fears and joys, and look forward to your visits. Especially during those turbulent teenage years, this can have a major impact on their life.

6) Cherish their individuality

Each grandchild is unique, bringing their own quirks and qualities to the table. Sometimes, these differences can be challenging.

There was a time when my second grandson, a fiercely independent and creative soul, would constantly challenge the status quo. Whether it was questioning the necessity of math homework or choosing to wear mismatched socks, he danced to the beat of his own drum. Initially, it was frustrating, but over time, I learned to appreciate his uniqueness rather than trying to quell it.

Embrace each grandchild for who they are and celebrate their differences. Let them know it’s not only okay to be different, but it’s also appreciated. After all, it’s these unique traits that make them who they are.

The moment they realize that they can be their authentic selves in your presence, they’ll truly treasure the time spent with you.

7) Create traditions

Traditions matter. Personal, special rituals that are just between you and your grandkids can be incredibly powerful in fostering a sense of belonging and anticipation for your visits.

These traditions can be as simple as sharing a bowl of ice cream every Sunday afternoon, having a bedtime story session just between the two of you, or planning and executing a yearly ‘grandparent-grandchild’ surprise for the rest of the family.

These traditions become ‘our’ thing. Something exclusive that they share with you. The consistent anticipation of these small but meaningful rituals can make your visits something they truly look forward to.

Remember, traditions have a profound way of strengthening bonds. So, go on and create memories that will last a lifetime for both you and your grandkids.

8) Be present

This is perhaps the most significant element of successful grandparenting. In our fast-paced world, the gift of undivided attention is priceless. When you spend time with your grandkids, actually BE with them. Leave your phone in the other room. Don’t worry about the work awaiting you at home. Focus on the here and now, the giggles, and the inquisitive questions.

Show your grandkids that they are your priority during these visits. This attentive presence indicates that you value their company. It tells them that they matter to you. And that kind of assurance can foster a connection so deep and cherished, they’ll be counting days for your next visit.

This simple act of being genuinely present can change your relationship with your grandkids, making your visits the highlight of their week, and yours too.

The heart of grandparenting revealed

When you strip away all the different grandparenting styles and advice, you are left with a simple yet profound truth – grandparenting is an art of love and connection.

Perhaps, the renowned psychologist, Virginia Satir, sums it up best when she said, “Feelings of worth can flourish only in an atmosphere where individual differences are appreciated, mistakes are tolerated, communication is open, and rules are flexible – the kind of atmosphere that is found in a nurturing family.”

This is the essence of what we’ve talked about: valuing their uniqueness, setting compassionate boundaries, creating shared experiences, traditions, and being fully present. Each nugget of wisdom mirrors the same underlying truth.

As a grandparent, your role is about fostering an unbreakable bond that will last a lifetime. And the key to doing this isn’t held in expensive toys or indulgent treats, but in the genuine moments of understanding, appreciation, and love.

In the end, your grandkids won’t remember the item they talked you into buying or the ice cream cone you treated them to. They’ll remember how you made them feel. Arching back to how Maya Angelou said, “I’ve learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.”

So, the next time they’re coming over or you’re visiting, remember the things we talked about and remember the love. After all, that’s what they’ll remember most.