Types of family members you are better off keeping at a distance

Family ties are important, but not all relatives are good for your wellbeing.
Sometimes, it’s necessary to put some distance between you and certain family members. This isn’t about stirring drama; it’s about preserving your peace.
In this article, I’m going to talk about the types of family members you might be better off keeping at a distance. I’ll share insights on how to identify them and why it might be healthier for you to limit your interactions with them.
Ready to take a harder look at your family tree? Let’s dive in.
1) The perpetual critic
We all have one in our family.
The relative who always finds something to criticize, no matter how small or insignificant it might seem. They may critique your appearance, your career choices, or even the way you raise your children.
While constructive criticism can be helpful, constant negativity can be draining and damaging to your self-esteem. It’s hard to flourish when you’re constantly under scrutiny.
This kind of behavior often stems from their insecurities and not a true reflection of your worth. Recognizing this can help, but it might still be in your best interest to limit your interaction with them.
Remember, it’s okay to protect yourself from unnecessary negativity. Your mental wellbeing is important.
2) The guilt-tripper
Ah, the master of emotional manipulation. We’ve all encountered this type of family member.
They’re experts at making you feel guilty for not meeting their expectations or fulfilling their demands. This can range from not attending family events to not calling them frequently enough.
Let me share a personal example. I have an aunt who has a knack for guilt-tripping. When I decided to spend my Christmas break traveling instead of attending the traditional family gathering, she didn’t take it well. “Don’t you care about family traditions?” she’d say, or “We missed you at the dinner table,” with a hint of disappointment.
While it’s important to respect and value family ties, it’s equally crucial to live your life according to your own choices and values. You shouldn’t be made to feel guilty for doing what feels right for you.
Remember, it’s okay to establish boundaries and prioritize your needs. You’re not obligated to fulfill everyone’s expectations at the cost of your happiness.
3) The drama-lover
Some family members thrive on drama. They seem to have an innate ability to turn the most mundane situations into grand soap operas. Whether it’s a simple misunderstanding or a minor disagreement, they’re always ready to amplify it and draw everyone into the conflict.
Interestingly, studies have shown that people who love drama are often seeking attention and validation. They tend to feel more significant and noticed when they’re at the center of a conflict.
While it can be entertaining at times, constant drama can be draining and toxic. It creates unnecessary stress and turns family gatherings into battlegrounds.
If you find yourself constantly being dragged into family dramas, it might be time to take a step back. It’s okay to disengage and choose peace over chaos.
4) The control freak
Control freaks are a common breed within families. They believe they know what’s best for everyone and aren’t shy about making their opinions known. Their need for control can extend to anything and everything – from the way you arrange your living room to the person you choose to marry.
While their intentions might be good, their behavior can be suffocating. It can make you second guess your decisions and undermine your confidence.
It’s important to remember that you are the captain of your life’s ship. While taking advice from family members can be beneficial, ultimately, the decisions should be yours to make.
Creating boundaries with these control freaks isn’t easy, but it’s necessary for your personal growth and happiness. You deserve to live your life on your own terms, without constant interference or control.
5) The distant relative
It’s a common saying that “blood is thicker than water,” but sometimes, you might find it hard to connect with certain relatives. This could be due to a large age gap, differing interests, or just a lack of shared experiences.
In my case, there’s a cousin who I’ve always struggled to connect with. Even though we grew up together, our personalities were polar opposites. Our conversations were always forced and filled with awkward silences.
Over time, I realized that it’s okay to accept this reality. Not all family members are going to be your closest confidants or best friends. It’s alright to maintain a polite distance and interact on a surface level.
Remember, family bonds are important, but they shouldn’t be forced. Authentic relationships are built on mutual understanding and respect, not just shared DNA.
6) The constant borrower
Money and family can be a tricky mix.
There’s often that one relative who always seems to have a financial crisis and turns to you for help. It begins innocently enough; a small loan for a car repair or unexpected medical bill. But over time, it becomes a pattern, and they start relying on you as their personal bank.
I had an uncle who was like this. He would always have some financial emergency and come to me for help. I wanted to help him out, believing that family should support each other. However, the loans started to pile up and it began to affect my own finances.
In such situations, it’s important to establish boundaries. Remember that it’s not your responsibility to constantly bail them out of their financial troubles. If you’re not careful, their financial irresponsibility can start affecting your own financial health.
It’s okay to say no when you need to. Helping family is important, but not at the expense of your own stability.
7) The gossiper
Every family seems to have one – the relative who knows everyone’s business and isn’t afraid to share it. Gossiping may seem harmless, but it can create a lot of discord and mistrust within the family.
Gossipers have a knack for spreading information, whether it’s true or not. And often, they do so without considering the potential harm their words might cause.
If you find yourself constantly on the receiving end of family gossip, it might be time to consider distancing yourself. Engaging with this behavior can lead to misunderstandings and even broken relationships.
Remember, it’s okay to distance yourself from negative energy. You have the right to surround yourself with positivity and people who respect your privacy.
8) The emotional vampire
This is perhaps the most draining of all – the relative who constantly demands your emotional energy. They’re always going through a crisis, always upset about something, and always looking to you for comfort and support.
While it’s natural to want to help, constantly catering to their emotional needs can leave you feeling drained and depleted. Self-care is just as important as caring for others, and you need to ensure that your emotional well-being isn’t being compromised.
The most important thing to remember here is that it’s not selfish to prioritize your own mental health. It’s okay to take a step back when you need to. You can’t pour from an empty cup, so ensure yours is filled first.
Final thoughts: It’s about self-care
Navigating complex family dynamics can be challenging, but it’s important to remember that your mental and emotional well-being should always be a priority.
The intricate web of familial relationships is deeply rooted in our societal and personal values. However, preserving your peace and happiness often requires setting healthy boundaries, even with family.
As an old saying goes, “You can choose your friends, but you can’t choose your family.” While this may be true, you do have a say in how these relationships affect you.
Whether it’s the constant critic, the guilt-tripper, or the emotional vampire, recognizing their impact on your well-being is the first step towards healthier interactions. By doing so, you are not only protecting your mental health but also fostering a more conducive environment for positive relationships to flourish.
Remember, taking care of yourself isn’t selfish – it’s necessary. And sometimes, that means keeping certain family members at a distance.