Resilience isn’t just about weathering the storm; it’s about learning to dance in the rain. It’s overpowering obstacles and thriving amidst adversity.

These people aren’t just lucky; rather, they exhibit certain behaviors and habits that make them tremendously resilient. Psychology offers some insights into what these individuals often do differently from the rest of us.

Here, we’ll explore seven things people with remarkable resilience consistently do, that others may often overlook. Dive in to know more about these ‘secret’ habits and how to cultivate them in your own life. They might just change the way you face your next challenge.

1) Embrace change

Just like a willow in a storm, exceptionally resilient people don’t merely resist the winds of change, they lean into them.

Change is inevitable. It’s a part of life. Yet, many of us resist it. We stick to what we know, finding comfort in the familiarity, even when it no longer serves us.

People with remarkable resilience however, see change differently. They understand that while change can be unsettling, it also presents opportunities for growth and development.

Instead of fighting against the current, they adapt and learn to navigate the shifting waters. They intuitively know that the wind might redirect their course, but it does not have to knock them down.

So, if life has you in a state of constant flux, take a leaf out of a resilient person’s playbook. Embrace change, adapt and allow it to strengthen your resolve. It can be a turning point, a chance to redefine and reshape yourself.

2) Practice gratitude relentlessly

Resilient individuals aren’t just good at weathering storms; they find rainbows amidst the clouds.

This wasn’t always clear to me. I used to focus on the negatives when times got tough. If I did poorly on one business proposal, I’d ruminate on it, allowing it to cast a shadow over my future attempts.

Things changed when I met Samantha, a colleague with an uncanny ability to bounce back from setbacks. She was grateful even in adversity. Failed at a project? She felt thankful for the learning experience. Lost a client? She celebrated having had the chance to work with them in the first place.

Inspired, I started adopting Samantha’s attitude of gratitude. My perspective changed. My resilience improved. I’ve encountered my fair share of failures since then, but the important thing is – these setbacks don’t pull me down anymore. Instead, they provide opportunities for me to grow, to become better.

Gratitude can be a powerful tool in boosting resilience. So, the next time you’re facing a challenge, dig deep and find something to be thankful for. It just might change the way you handle adversity.

3) Maintain strong, supportive relationships

The phrase “no man is an island” is not just poetic, it’s accurate.

People with remarkable resilience understand the importance of having a strong social network. They foster deep, meaningful bonds with those around them.

The Harvard Study of Adult Development, one of the longest-ever studies on happiness, found that people who have solid relationships with family, friends, and community are happier, physically healthier, and live longer.

Resilient people lean on this network for support, giving strength and drawing strength from it. They know that connection is a human need, and a strong social web can trump adversity.

If you want to build resilience, strive for stronger connections – converse more, empathize, and make time for your loved ones. It’s not only about having a shoulder to lean on during tough times, but also about celebrating the good times together.

4) Set clear, attainable goals

A hallmark of resilient people is the ability to set and pursue clear and achievable goals. They understand that the road to resilience is not a sprint but a marathon.

These individuals don’t just dream big; they break down their dreams into bite-sized goals. They take action, one step at a time, consistently moving forward, no matter how small the progress may seem.

They are not deterred by hiccups along the way. Instead, they are able to refocus, adjust their plans, and persist in the pursuit of their goals.

Setting clear, attainable goals can give life direction and purpose. So, next time you’re battling adversity, identify your goal and break it down. Remember, every marathon starts with a single step.

5) Practice self-care

As someone who’s juggled multiple responsibilities throughout my life, I can tell you from experience that it’s easy to get caught up in the whirlwind of doing more. The hustle can be enthralling and addictive, but it can also lead to a burnout. The irony? I overlooked the one thing that was crucial for my continued productivity – self-care.

Remarkably resilient people understand the importance of taking care of themselves, both physically and emotionally. They don’t view self-care as an indulgence, but a necessity for maintaining their resilience.

For me, this meant prioritizing my mental health. Setting aside “me” time where I would disconnect from work, engage in activities that made me happy or helped me relax – reading a book, going for a run, or simply meditating.

Self-care isn’t selfish; it’s essential. It fuels you and allows you to face challenges with a clearer mind and healthier body. Remember, you can’t pour from an empty cup. Taking time out for yourself is crucial, not just for you, but also for those who depend on you.

6) Stay flexible

Life rarely goes exactly as planned – a truth recognized by resilient individuals. They understand that rigidity in the face of adversity is counter-productive.

Instead of rigidly sticking to a single plan, they stay flexible and adapt to the circumstances. They see every setback as an opportunity to reassess, adjust their sails, and chart a new course if required.

Rather than dwelling on the obstacles, they focus on solutions, often finding innovative ways around the problems. Their flexibility allows them to navigate through the unpredictability of life, remaining unfazed regardless of the setbacks they face.

Flexibility is a cornerstone of resilience, enabling you to flow with the ebbs and tides of life. So, the next time life throws a curveball, consider it an invitation to adapt, be flexible and pivot accordingly.

7) Embrace a positive attitude

Finally, the most critical trait of resilient individuals is their ability to maintain a positive outlook. They understand the power of positivity and how it can make the difference in overcoming adversity.

These individuals are not in denial of the hardships they face; instead, they consciously choose to remain optimistic. They believe in themselves and see challenges as temporary hurdles rather than permanent roadblocks.

They consciously fill their mental space with positive affirmations and surround themselves with positivity, which in turn fuels their resilience.

So, if you’re looking to build resilience, remember, the power lies within you. Cultivate positivity, believe in yourself, and you’ll notice how the mountains you are climbing start looking like molehills.

Embracing the resilient spirit

Resilience is a skill, not a trait that you either have or don’t have. It’s about harnessing the trials and tribulations of life and transforming them into personal triumphs.

Importantly, research has indicated that resilience is “ordinary, not extraordinary” — a confirmation by psychologist George Bonanno from the Columbia University Teachers College. Meaning that it’s within each one of us, not just in a chosen few.

The seven habits we’ve discussed here are not just attributes of a remarkably resilient person, but patterns of behavior that can be learned, practiced, and honed.

From embracing change to nurturing a positive attitude, each step you take towards adopting these habits is a step closer to unlocking your innate resilience. It’s never a quick or easy journey, but it’s undoubtedly a rewarding one.

As you navigate the maze of life, armed with the tool of resilience, remember this quote by Joshua J. Marine: “Challenges are what make life interesting; overcoming them is what makes life meaningful.” Ponder on this. You are stronger than you believe and more resilient than you think.