There’s a unique breed of people out there, those with rare emotional intelligence. They navigate complex social situations with grace, understanding, and most importantly, empathy.

Emotional intelligence isn’t about being nice all the time. It’s about understanding and managing both your own emotions and the emotions of others.

And the truly emotionally intelligent? Well, they stick to a couple of golden rules.

Here are the eight rules that those with extraordinary emotional intelligence always follow. Trust me, adopting these might just change your life.

1) They always practice active listening

There’s a world of difference between hearing someone and actively listening to them.

People with rare emotional intelligence know this distinction all too well. They are masters of active listening.

Active listening is about being fully engaged in what the other person is saying, rather than just passively ‘hearing’ the conversation. It involves empathy, patience, and genuine interest in understanding the other person’s perspective.

When you actively listen, you’re not just waiting for your turn to speak. You’re fully present in the conversation, giving thoughtful responses and asking relevant questions.

Emotionally intelligent people know that by practicing active listening, they not only show respect to the speaker, but also build stronger relationships.

And remember, it’s not about agreeing with everything they say, but about understanding their point of view. It’s a simple rule, but one that requires conscious effort.

2) They’re not afraid to show vulnerability

Emotionally intelligent people understand that it’s okay to show vulnerability.

I learned this firsthand in my own life. There was a time when I thought showing vulnerability was a sign of weakness. I kept my feelings and struggles to myself, thinking it was the strong thing to do.

But I was wrong.

One day, during a team meeting at work, I decided to open up about a personal struggle that was affecting my performance. Instead of judging me or thinking less of me, my team rallied around me. They offered their support and understanding. It was a turning point for me.

That experience taught me that vulnerability isn’t a weakness, it’s a strength. It shows courage, authenticity, and most importantly, it allows others to connect with you on a deeper level.

So don’t be afraid to show your vulnerable side. It’s a rule people with high emotional intelligence live by, and it has served them (and now me) well.

3) They understand the power of body language

Body language speaks volumes. In fact, studies have shown that over 70% of our communication is non-verbal.

People with high emotional intelligence are acutely aware of this and are adept at both reading and using body language effectively. They know that their posture, facial expression, and gestures can communicate just as much, if not more, than their words.

For example, maintaining eye contact shows respect and interest in the person you are speaking to, while crossing your arms can come off as defensive or closed off.

Understanding the nuances of body language allows emotionally intelligent people to connect more deeply with others and better navigate social situations. It’s not just about the words we say, but how we express them physically.

4) They make an effort to remain positive

Life can be challenging and unpredictable, but people with high emotional intelligence always strive to maintain a positive outlook.

They understand that while they can’t control every situation, they can control how they react to it. Instead of dwelling on problems or obstacles, they focus on solutions and the lessons they can learn.

But don’t mistake this for blind optimism. They’re not ignoring the negatives. They’re simply choosing not to let them dominate their mindset.

By making the conscious choice to stay positive, they inspire others around them and create a more uplifting environment. It’s about being a beacon of positivity, even in the face of adversity.

5) They practice empathy

At the heart of emotional intelligence lies empathy.

It’s about more than just understanding someone else’s feelings. It’s about sharing them, feeling with them. And people with high emotional intelligence? They’re empathy experts.

Think about a time when you were going through something really tough. Now think about that one person who just got it. They were there, they listened, they understood. They didn’t try to fix you, they didn’t try to minimize your pain, they just felt with you.

That’s empathy in action.

Emotionally intelligent people know the importance of this connection. They understand that we all go through highs and lows, and being able to empathize allows us to support each other in a way that words often can’t capture.

Practicing empathy isn’t always easy, but it’s a rule that those with high emotional intelligence live by. And it makes all the difference.

6) They always keep their emotions in check

Emotions can be powerful, overwhelming even. But one rule people with high emotional intelligence follow is to always keep their emotions in check.

I remember a time when I was faced with a particularly difficult situation at work. A project I led had gone off the rails and the pressure was mounting. It would have been easy to give in to stress and frustration.

But instead, I took a step back. I allowed myself to feel those emotions, but I didn’t let them control my actions. I took deep breaths, reassessed the situation, and looked for solutions instead of dwelling on the problem.

Keeping emotions in check doesn’t mean suppressing them. It means understanding them, managing them, and not letting them dictate your behavior. It’s about being in control of your emotional state, even when the going gets tough.

7) They value and nurture relationships

Relationships are the lifeblood of our personal and professional lives. And people with high emotional intelligence understand their value more than most.

They know that building and maintaining strong relationships requires effort, understanding, and mutual respect. They don’t take people for granted. Instead, they invest time and energy into nurturing their relationships.

This means actively listening when someone speaks, showing empathy during tough times, maintaining positivity, and always keeping emotions in check to avoid unnecessary conflicts.

By valuing their relationships and treating people with kindness and respect, emotionally intelligent people build a strong network of individuals who respect and value them in return. It’s a reciprocal relationship that benefits everyone involved.

8) They are self-aware

If there’s one thing that stands out about people with high emotional intelligence, it’s their deep sense of self-awareness.

Self-awareness is their secret weapon. It’s the ability to recognize and understand their own emotions, strengths, weaknesses, and drives. They know how their actions and emotions affect those around them, and they use this knowledge to guide their decisions and interactions.

Being self-aware means owning your actions and accepting responsibility for them. It means understanding your own emotional triggers and knowing how to manage them.

In essence, self-awareness is about being in tune with yourself. It’s about knowing who you are at your core and using that knowledge to navigate the world around you. It’s the cornerstone of emotional intelligence and the key to mastering all the other rules on this list.

Final thought: Emotional intelligence is a journey

The beauty of emotional intelligence is that it isn’t a fixed trait. It’s a journey, a skill that we can cultivate and improve over time.

Each of the eight rules discussed in this article represents a stepping stone on this journey. They’re not checkboxes to tick off but habits to cultivate, practices to integrate into our daily lives.

Whether it’s practicing active listening, showing vulnerability, understanding body language, maintaining positivity, empathizing with others, keeping emotions in check, valuing relationships or enhancing self-awareness – each rule brings us closer to becoming more emotionally intelligent.

Remember, the goal isn’t perfection. It’s growth. It’s about becoming more attuned to our own emotions and those of others. It’s about navigating the world with empathy, understanding, and grace.

So as you reflect on these eight rules of emotional intelligence, consider your own journey. Which of these practices do you already embody? Which ones could use a little more attention?

Embrace the journey of emotional intelligence with patience and persistence. The rewards – stronger relationships, improved communication, greater understanding – are well worth the effort.