I used to be one of those people who would blush at the thought of public speaking or even just making small talk. But like many others, I overcame my shyness.

Often, we assume that shyness is an inherent trait, but it’s not. It’s something you can work on, and many have successfully done so.

People who used to be shy often mention a handful of strategies that helped them the most. These are simple yet powerful ways to break through that wall of shyness.

Here are eight things that people who used to be shy often say helped them the most. It’s time for you to get a glimpse into their secrets.

1) Practice makes perfect

We’ve all heard it before, but this old phrase holds its weight, especially when it comes to overcoming shyness.

Many individuals who used to be shy often attribute their transformation to consistent and intentional practice. They didn’t wake up one day and magically become outgoing and self-assured. It took time, patience, and a whole lot of stepping out of their comfort zones.

Whether it was striking a conversation with a stranger, giving a presentation at work, or simply voicing their opinion during a group discussion, they kept pushing themselves to communicate more openly and assertively.

Over time, these actions that initially caused a great deal of anxiety became less daunting and more natural.

So if you’re looking to overcome your shyness, remember that practice is key. Start small and gradually take on bigger challenges. It may be uncomfortable at first, but with time, you’ll find your confidence growing.

Remember, Rome wasn’t built in a day. Similarly, shedding your shyness is a process that requires time and perseverance.

2) Embracing the power of ‘Yes’

There was a time when I would say ‘no’ to any opportunity that threatened to push me out of my comfort zone. Invitations to social gatherings, offers to lead projects at work, requests to share my thoughts during meetings – I would decline them all.

But people who have overcome their shyness often mention a turning point: when they decided to say ‘yes’ more often.

I remember when I first started doing this. A friend asked me to accompany them to a networking event. My immediate instinct was to decline, but I remembered my resolve to embrace the power of ‘yes’. So, with shaky hands and a pounding heart, I accepted the invitation.

That evening was nerve-wracking, but it was also empowering. I realized that once I survived the initial discomfort, I could handle the situation much better than I had imagined.

Saying ‘yes’ opened doors for me that I didn’t even know existed. It taught me to challenge my fears and embrace growth.

So if you’re struggling with shyness, I urge you to start saying ‘yes’. It’s not easy, but it’s a step worth taking.

3) Focusing on others

When we’re shy, we often get caught up in our own thoughts and fears. We worry about how we’re being perceived, if we’re saying the right things, or if we’re making a fool of ourselves.

But people who have managed to overcome their shyness often share a powerful strategy: shifting the focus from self to others.

They found that when they concentrated on the person they were interacting with, they became less self-conscious. By paying attention to the other person’s words, expressions, and emotions, they were able to respond more naturally and authentically.

This strategy is backed by research as well. A study published in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology found that individuals who focused on others during social interactions experienced less social anxiety and were perceived as more likable.

So next time you find yourself caught in the whirlwind of self-conscious thoughts, try shifting your focus to the person you’re interacting with. It might just make a world of difference.

4) Small goals, big wins

When trying to overcome shyness, it can seem overwhelming to envision a future where you’re confidently addressing a crowd or easily mingling at social events.

But people who’ve successfully navigated this journey often speak about setting small, achievable goals that gradually led them to bigger wins.

Perhaps it’s initiating a conversation with a colleague during lunch or asking a question at the end of a presentation. These small victories can build up your confidence and make the larger obstacles seem more manageable.

Over time, you’ll find that these small steps have led you to a place you previously thought was out of reach. So don’t underestimate the power of setting small goals – they can pave the way for significant change.

5) Self-love and acceptance

Overcoming shyness isn’t just about learning to speak up or be more outgoing. At its core, it’s about learning to love and accept yourself, quirks and all.

People who have conquered their shyness often say that the breakthrough came when they stopped trying to fit into what they thought others expected of them. Instead, they embraced who they were, quirks, flaws, strengths and all.

They understood that everyone has their unique traits and characteristics. Just because someone is more outgoing, it doesn’t make them better. And just because you’re shy, it doesn’t make you any less valuable.

Overcoming shyness isn’t about changing who you are. It’s about accepting yourself and realizing that you have your own unique voice worth sharing with the world.

It’s a journey of self-love and acceptance, one where you learn to see your worth beyond the labels of ‘shy’ or ‘outgoing’. And once you start believing in yourself, you’ll find that the world believes in you too.

6) The power of vulnerability

There was a time when I would hide my true feelings and opinions, afraid of being judged or misunderstood. I believed that by keeping my thoughts to myself, I was protecting myself from potential criticism or rejection.

However, people who have managed to overcome their shyness often speak about the power of vulnerability. They talk about how opening up and showing their true selves brought them closer to others and made them feel more comfortable in their own skin.

I decided to give this a try and began to open up, little by little. I shared my thoughts during meetings, expressed my feelings to friends, and let myself be seen for who I truly was.

To my surprise, people responded positively. They appreciated my honesty and perspective. It made me realize that by hiding behind my shyness, I had been denying the world the chance to know the real me.

So if you’re struggling with shyness, remember that there’s strength in vulnerability. Letting people see the real you can be scary, but it can also be incredibly liberating.

7) The importance of body language

When we think about communication, it’s easy to focus solely on the words we say. But people who’ve overcome their shyness often highlight the significance of non-verbal communication, specifically body language.

They realized that by adopting confident body language, they not only appeared more self-assured to others, but they also started feeling more confident internally.

This can be as simple as standing tall, maintaining eye contact during conversations, or using hand gestures while speaking. These subtle cues can make a big difference in how others perceive you and how you perceive yourself.

So if you’re trying to overcome shyness, don’t overlook the power of body language. It’s a silent yet powerful tool that can greatly boost your confidence and presence.

8) Patience is key

Overcoming shyness isn’t something that happens overnight. It’s a journey filled with highs and lows, progress and setbacks. But the most important thing to remember is that it’s okay to take your time.

People who have successfully overcome their shyness often emphasize the importance of patience. They didn’t rush the process or beat themselves up when they had a setback. Instead, they acknowledged their progress, no matter how small, and kept moving forward at their own pace.

So if you’re on this journey, remember to be patient with yourself. Celebrate your victories, learn from your setbacks, and keep going. Because every step you take, no matter how small, brings you closer to becoming the confident person you aspire to be.

Final thoughts: It’s about growth

The journey from shyness to confidence is undeniably a personal one, deeply intertwined with our experiences, perceptions, and inner strength.

At the heart of this journey, some psychologists suggest, lies the concept of personal growth. This could be seen as an expansion of self-awareness, knowledge, and skills that ultimately enhances one’s quality of life.

Overcoming shyness isn’t about becoming a completely different person overnight. It’s about embracing who we are and striving to grow beyond our perceived limitations. It’s about turning our quiet reflections into loud affirmations of confidence and self-belief.

So when we engage in conversation, step onto a stage, or voice our opinions, we’re not just challenging our shyness; we’re celebrating our growth.

As the renowned psychologist Carl Rogers once said, “The curious paradox is that when I accept myself just as I am, then I can change.” This acceptance is the first step towards overcoming shyness and embracing the confident person within us all.