People who grew up in a strict discipline household usually display these 8 traits when adults

Isabella Chase by Isabella Chase | March 22, 2025, 3:55 am

Growing up in a strict household can shape your adulthood in unique ways.

This isn’t about blaming parents or family, but understanding how our upbringing impacts us.

Those raised under stern discipline often develop certain traits as adults. Recognizing these characteristics isn’t about dwelling on the past, but acknowledging how it shapes our present.

In this article, we dive into 8 common traits often seen in adults who grew up in stringent households. It’s worth understanding these traits, whether you’re identifying them in yourself or others around you.

Stay tuned to get a better understanding of how a disciplined upbringing can influence adulthood.

1) Adherence to rules

Growing up in a strict household often revolves around rules. Lots of them.

As children, breaking these rules typically meant facing consequences. Hence, learning to stick to the rules became a survival instinct.

Fast forward to adulthood, this often translates into a high regard for laws, guidelines and societal norms. People from disciplined homes are usually those who follow traffic signals to the T, never miss deadlines and prefer sticking to the established way of doing things.

This isn’t necessarily a bad thing though! Their respect for structure can make them reliable partners, employees and friends.

However, it’s also important to remember that flexibility is key in life. It’s okay to bend the rules sometimes for the greater good or personal happiness.

2) Perfectionism

Speaking from personal experience, growing up in a strict household often breeds a certain level of perfectionism.

In my own upbringing, every task had to be completed to an exact standard. Homework had to be spotless, bedrooms had to be immaculate and even leisure activities had a ‘right way’ to be done.

As an adult, this translated into an ongoing quest for perfection. I found myself striving for the perfect job, the perfect home, the perfect lifestyle. It wasn’t about competing with others, but meeting the high standards I’d been raised with.

But as I’ve grown, I’ve realized that perfection is elusive and often unnecessary. It’s okay to make mistakes and learn from them. It’s okay if everything isn’t exactly how I planned it.

Remember, striving for excellence is admirable, but obsessing over perfection can sometimes hold you back more than it propels you forward.

3) High resilience

Children from strict households often grow up to be highly resilient adults. This is because they’ve learned how to handle challenges and difficult situations from a young age.

Research shows that individuals who experienced strict parenting often develop a high level of resilience. They are more likely to bounce back from failures or setbacks, and are often determined to overcome obstacles in their path.

This resilience often translates into persistence in the face of adversity, and a knack for problem-solving. While it’s a strength, it’s also important to remember that it’s okay to ask for help when needed. Resilience doesn’t mean going it alone all the time.

4) Strong self-discipline

Growing up in a strict household often means learning self-discipline early on.

Whether it was finishing homework before play, or doing household chores before watching TV, these routines instilled a strong sense of self-discipline in us.

As adults, this trait often manifests itself in our ability to set goals and work towards them consistently without being distracted or swayed. This can be particularly beneficial in areas like fitness, career progression and personal development.

But remember, while self-discipline is a fantastic trait, it’s also important to let loose sometimes and enjoy the spontaneity of life.

5) Desire for approval

This trait can tug at your heartstrings a bit. Growing up in a strict environment often means constantly seeking approval to ensure you’re doing things right.

This desire for validation doesn’t just disappear when childhood ends. Many adults who grew up in strict households find themselves still seeking approval from others, whether it’s their bosses, their partners, or even their social media followers.

The need for affirmation isn’t necessarily negative. It can push you to strive for better. But it’s essential to remember that your worth is not defined by others’ approval. It’s okay to make decisions that you’re happy with, even if others don’t understand or agree.

You are enough just as you are.

6) Difficulty with confrontation

In a strict household, disagreements or confrontations were often discouraged. It was easier and safer to keep quiet and conform rather than voice dissent.

As an adult, this can sometimes translate into a lingering discomfort with confrontation. I’ve found myself at times avoiding difficult discussions or backing down from disagreements, even when I knew I was in the right.

It’s important to remember that respectful confrontations are a part of life and a crucial aspect of healthy relationships. It’s okay to voice your opinion and stand up for yourself. Not every disagreement is a battlefield, and your viewpoints matter.

7) Appreciation for order

If there’s one thing strict households have in abundance, it’s order. Rules, routines, and structure are the norm.

As adults, this often translates into a love for order in our own lives. Whether it’s keeping our living spaces tidy, planning our days down to the last detail, or having a structured approach to work and personal tasks.

This appreciation for order can make us highly organized individuals who excel in environments that require meticulous planning and execution.

Remember though, life can sometimes be chaotic, and that’s okay too. It’s important to embrace the unexpected and learn to thrive, even when things don’t go according to plan.

8) Capacity for empathy

At the heart of it all, growing up in a strict household often leads to a deep capacity for empathy.

Having experienced stringent rules and high expectations, many of us develop a keen understanding of others’ struggles and challenges. We become adept at putting ourselves in others’ shoes and offering compassion and understanding.

This empathy is a powerful trait. It enables us to forge meaningful relationships and become understanding leaders, partners, and friends.

Remember, your past experiences shape you, but they don’t define you. It’s okay to acknowledge these traits, learn from them, and use them to grow into the person you aspire to be.

Final thoughts: A journey of self-discovery

Understanding human behavior is a complex task, deeply intertwined with our upbringing and experiences.

Growing up in a strict household can certainly influence our adult traits, as we’ve explored in this article. However, it’s essential to remember that these traits aren’t set in stone, nor are they determinants of our worth or potential.

The beauty of life lies in its unpredictability and our capacity for change. Recognizing these traits in ourselves or others isn’t about labeling or judging, but about fostering understanding and compassion.

Whether you identify with one, all, or none of these traits, remember that your experiences shape you, but they don’t confine you. You have the power to embrace and learn from your past, and to mold your future in the way you envision.

Growing up with strict discipline might have been challenging, but it’s also equipped you with resilience, empathy, and an appreciation for order. These are not just traits but tools that can be harnessed towards personal growth and success.

In the end, it’s all part of the fascinating journey of self-discovery and evolution that makes us wonderfully unique individuals.