We all carry pieces of our past with us, but for some, childhood wounds don’t just fade away—they shape the way they think, act, and respond to the world well into adulthood.

These wounds can come from many places—neglect, criticism, abandonment, or even a lack of emotional support. And while people may not always realize it, these experiences often show up in their daily habits and behaviors.

The truth is, unresolved pain has a way of influencing how we see ourselves and others. But recognizing these habits is the first step toward healing.

Here are seven common habits of people who still carry childhood wounds into adulthood.

 

1) they struggle with self-worth

One of the biggest struggles for people carrying childhood wounds is believing they are truly worthy.

When someone grows up feeling unloved, criticized, or overlooked, it can leave a lasting mark on their self-esteem. They may constantly question their value, downplay their achievements, or feel like they’ll never be “good enough.”

This often leads to seeking external validation—looking to others for approval instead of trusting their own worth. Compliments might feel uncomfortable, and success might be dismissed as luck rather than deserved.

The truth is, childhood wounds can make it hard to see yourself clearly. But recognizing this habit is the first step toward changing the way you view yourself.

 

2) they have trouble setting boundaries

For a long time, I didn’t know how to say no.

I would overcommit, agree to things I didn’t want to do, and let people take advantage of my time and energy—all because I was afraid of disappointing them. Growing up, I learned that my needs weren’t as important as keeping the peace. So as an adult, I struggled to set boundaries, fearing that standing up for myself would push people away.

This is common for those who carry childhood wounds. If you grew up in an environment where your feelings were dismissed or you were made to feel guilty for having needs, you might find it hard to assert yourself now. You may feel responsible for other people’s happiness or struggle with guilt when you try to put yourself first.

But the truth is, boundaries aren’t about pushing people away—they’re about protecting your well-being. And learning to set them is a crucial step toward healing.

 

3) they overthink and second-guess themselves

People who carry childhood wounds often struggle with overthinking. Every decision, no matter how small, can feel overwhelming because they’re constantly questioning whether they’re making the right choice.

This often comes from growing up in an environment where mistakes were punished harshly, or where love and approval felt conditional. When someone learns early on that getting things wrong leads to rejection, they may develop a habit of analyzing every possible outcome to avoid failure.

The problem is, overthinking doesn’t prevent mistakes—it just creates stress. Studies have shown that excessive rumination can actually weaken problem-solving skills and contribute to anxiety and depression.

Breaking this habit starts with recognizing that perfection isn’t possible, and mistakes don’t define a person’s worth. Letting go of the fear of failure is one of the most freeing things someone with childhood wounds can do.

 

4) they have a hard time trusting others

Trust doesn’t come easily for those who grew up in environments where they felt unsafe, unheard, or betrayed. If someone has been let down repeatedly as a child—whether by parents, caregivers, or other important figures—they may develop a deep-seated belief that people will eventually hurt or abandon them.

As adults, this can show up in different ways. Some may keep their guard up, avoiding emotional closeness to protect themselves from getting hurt. Others might constantly seek reassurance in relationships, fearing that people will leave the moment they let their guard down.

The challenge is that trust is essential for healthy relationships. But when past wounds shape the way someone sees others, it takes time and effort to unlearn the fear of being let down. Healing starts with recognizing that not everyone will repeat the mistakes of the past.

 

5) they are overly self-critical

No matter what they accomplish, it never feels like enough. There’s always that inner voice saying they could have done better, should have tried harder, or didn’t truly deserve any praise coming their way. Even small mistakes can feel like proof that they’re failing, reinforcing the belief that they’ll never measure up.

This kind of self-criticism usually starts in childhood, especially in environments where love and approval were tied to achievement. If mistakes were met with harsh criticism or high expectations felt impossible to meet, that pressure doesn’t just disappear in adulthood—it becomes an internal dialogue that’s hard to silence.

The truth is, no one is as hard on them as they are on themselves. Learning to replace self-criticism with self-compassion isn’t easy, but it’s one of the most important steps toward healing childhood wounds.

 

6) they fear abandonment

For those carrying childhood wounds, the fear of abandonment can feel overwhelming. Even in stable relationships, there’s often a lingering worry that people will leave—whether through rejection, betrayal, or simply losing interest.

This fear usually stems from early experiences of neglect, inconsistent love, or sudden loss. When a child grows up feeling emotionally or physically abandoned, they may internalize the belief that relationships are fragile and that they have to work extra hard to keep people from walking away.

As adults, this might show up as clinginess, people-pleasing, or pushing others away before they have a chance to leave. But healthy relationships aren’t built on fear—they’re built on trust and security. Recognizing this fear is the first step toward breaking the cycle and allowing real connection to grow.

 

7) they struggle to accept love

Even when love is right in front of them, it can feel impossible to fully embrace. Compliments are brushed off, acts of kindness are met with suspicion, and genuine affection feels unfamiliar—almost uncomfortable.

When someone grows up feeling unworthy of love, that belief doesn’t just disappear. Instead, it follows them into adulthood, making it hard to trust that love can be given freely, without conditions or expectations. They might push people away to avoid getting hurt or settle for less than they deserve because deep down, they don’t believe they deserve more.

But love isn’t something that has to be earned—it’s something that everyone is worthy of, no matter what their past has taught them.

 

bottom line: the past lingers, but healing is possible

Childhood experiences don’t just stay in the past—they shape the way people think, feel, and interact with the world long into adulthood. The habits formed as a result of early wounds aren’t random; they are deeply rooted survival mechanisms, ways the mind and body learned to cope with pain, uncertainty, or neglect.

Studies in neuroscience have shown that early emotional trauma can physically alter brain function, particularly in areas related to stress response, self-worth, and emotional regulation. This means that struggles with trust, self-criticism, or fear of abandonment aren’t simply personality traits—they’re patterns shaped by past experiences.

But while the past lingers, it doesn’t have to define the future. The brain is capable of change, a concept known as neuroplasticity. With time, self-awareness, and the right support, people can rewrite those patterns and build healthier ways of thinking and relating to others.

Recognizing these habits is just the first step. Healing begins when someone starts believing that they are worthy of love, security, and peace—no matter what their childhood taught them.