There’s a sizable gap between people who can dish out criticism, but crumble when on the receiving end.

This gap often reveals itself in the form of hidden insecurities. These individuals are quick to point out flaws in others while concealing their own shortcomings.

These insecurities, however, often say more about them than those they criticize. And guess what? They typically share the same seven insecurities.

In this piece, we’re going to delve into these common insecurities and shed some light on why those who can dish it out often struggle to take it in return.

1) Fear of vulnerability

We all have insecurities, but some people handle them differently.

Those who can dish out criticism, yet falter when it’s returned, often harbour a deep-seated fear of vulnerability.

This fear isn’t just about being perceived as weak. It’s about opening up and exposing their true selves to the world.

They use criticism as a shield, deflecting attention away from their own shortcomings and onto others. In doing so, they hope to avoid the discomfort that comes with vulnerability.

However, this behavior is often a clear sign of their own insecurities. It’s not about the person they’re criticizing – it’s about them and their fear of vulnerability.

Recognizing this insecurity can help us understand their behavior better, and perhaps respond with greater empathy. After all, we all have our insecurities – we just handle them differently.

2) Insecurity about intelligence

I’ve seen this insecurity in action, and trust me, it’s not pretty.

In my early career, I worked with a person who was constantly belittling the ideas of others. They had a knack for making you feel as if your thoughts were insignificant. Yet, when it came to their own ideas, they were incredibly defensive.

Over time, it became clear that this behavior stemmed from a deep-seated insecurity about their own intelligence. They had a fear that they weren’t as smart as they wanted others to believe.

In their desperate attempt to mask this insecurity, they tore down the ideas of others and defended their own with an almost irrational ferocity.

But here’s the thing – none of that made them smarter or more competent. It just revealed their insecurity. In the end, it’s not about proving how smart we are, but about how we can work together to create something meaningful.

3) Fear of rejection

Fear of rejection is a common human experience that can be traced back to our early ancestors. Back then, being rejected from the tribe was essentially a death sentence. This meant that we evolved to avoid rejection at all costs.

Today, this fear often manifests as an insecurity and can lead to people dishing out criticism as a defense mechanism.

By criticizing others, they place themselves in a position of power and control, reducing their risk of rejection. They become the rejecter, not the rejected.

Unfortunately, this behavior often leads to the exact outcome they are trying to avoid – isolation and rejection. It’s a self-fulfilling prophecy that only serves to deepen their fear and insecurity.

4) Low self-esteem

People who constantly criticize others often struggle with low self-esteem. They feel inadequate or inferior and use criticism as a tool to elevate themselves.

By finding faults in others, they feel better about their own perceived shortcomings. It’s not a healthy coping mechanism, but it’s a common one.

The harsher the criticism they dish out, the higher they lift themselves. But here’s the kicker – this boost is temporary. It doesn’t address the root problem, their low self-esteem.

Instead of gaining genuine confidence, they become dependent on criticizing others. It’s a vicious cycle that only deepens their insecurities and pushes people away.

5) Insecurity around authenticity

I remember a time when I was so desperate to fit in, I would mirror the behaviors and opinions of those around me. I was quick to criticize others, just to fit into a group that thrived on belittling others.

This wasn’t really me. I was hiding behind a facade, afraid that my genuine self wouldn’t be accepted.

This behavior stemmed from an insecurity around authenticity. I was afraid that being my authentic self would lead to rejection.

I’ve since learned that authenticity isn’t something to be feared, but embraced. It took a lot of self-reflection and courage to drop the facade and be myself, but it was worth it.

People who dish out criticism but can’t take it are often struggling with this same insecurity. They hide behind criticism as a way to fit in, afraid that their authentic selves won’t be accepted.

6) Fear of failure

Failure can be daunting. It can bruise our ego, challenge our self-esteem and make us question our abilities.

For some people, this fear of failure is deeply ingrained. They can’t bear the thought of coming up short or making mistakes.

So, they criticize others to deflect attention away from their own failures. They highlight the mistakes of others to keep their own hidden in the shadows.

But in doing so, they often create a hostile environment that hinders growth – not just for themselves, but for those around them too.

Understanding this insecurity can help us foster a more supportive environment, where failure is seen as an opportunity to learn and grow, rather than something to be feared.

7) Lack of emotional intelligence

People who can dish out criticism but can’t take it often lack emotional intelligence. They struggle to empathize with others and understand their feelings. This lack of emotional intelligence can lead to a constant cycle of criticism without understanding the impact it has on those around them.

Improving emotional intelligence requires self-awareness, empathy, and the ability to manage one’s emotions. These are skills we can all learn and improve upon. And in doing so, we foster healthier relationships, better communication, and a more positive environment for everyone involved.

Final thought: It’s about understanding

The complexities of human behavior often stem from our hidden insecurities.

Take, for instance, people who can dish out criticism but struggle to accept it themselves. Behind this behavior, there often lurk deep-seated insecurities.

Recognizing these insecurities isn’t about labeling or casting judgment. It’s about understanding. It’s about seeing the human behind the behavior and realizing that we all have our own internal struggles.

Remember, criticism is often more reflective of the critic than the person being criticized. So, the next time you encounter someone quick to criticize but slow to accept it in return, think about the insecurities that might be fueling their actions.

Understanding these insecurities can foster empathy, promote patience, and ultimately lead to healthier and more meaningful interactions.