Parents of highly successful kids know these 8 things that most don’t according to psychology

There’s a vast difference between simply raising kids and fostering them to be highly successful.
This difference boils down to insight. Many parents are just trying to navigate the day-to-day challenges of child-rearing, often missing the bigger picture.
Parents of highly successful kids, however, seem to have a unique understanding of certain principles that most don’t – backed by psychology.
Understanding these principles doesn’t mean you’re manipulating your child’s future. Instead, it’s about guiding them in a direction that sets them up for success in their own right.
In this article, we’ll explore the 8 things that these insightful parents know – simple yet effective strategies that could make a world of difference in your child’s future.
1) Success isn’t accidental
There’s a common thread that connects successful individuals – a nurturing environment during their formative years.
And who creates this environment? Their parents.
Parents of highly successful kids understand the significance of creating a conducive environment for success. It’s not about pushing or pressurizing, but about facilitating opportunities.
Consider the concept of the growth mindset, introduced by psychologist Carol Dweck. This mindset encourages embracing challenges, persisting in the face of setbacks, and seeing effort as a path to mastery.
Parents who instill this growth mindset in their kids are setting them up for success. They’re not manipulating their child’s future but nurturing the right attitude towards success.
They understand that success isn’t accidental – it’s a result of consistent effort, resilience, and an open mind. And that’s what they imbue in their kids.
So, if you wish to set your child on the path to success, remember to foster a growth mindset and create an environment that encourages effort and resilience.
And as always, make sure it’s done with love and understanding, not manipulation or pressure.
2) Emphasizing the importance of failure
As a parent, one of the hardest things is to watch your child fail. It’s instinctive to want to shield them from disappointment and hurt.
But in my journey as a parent, I’ve learned that failure isn’t something to be feared or avoided – it’s an opportunity.
I remember when my son first started learning to ride a bike without training wheels. There were countless falls, scrapes, and tears. It was tough, watching him struggle and feeling the urge to swoop in and make it all better.
But instead, I stood back. I encouraged him to get up every time he fell, to understand what went wrong, and to try again. And over time, he not only learned to ride a bike but also learned resilience and the value of perseverance.
Parents of highly successful kids understand this. They don’t shield their children from failure but instead use it as a tool for learning and growth.
They reinforce the idea that failure isn’t the end of the world, but a stepping stone towards success. They teach their kids that it’s okay to fail and that what truly matters is how they respond to it.
So remember, if you want your child to be successful, don’t protect them from failure. Instead, guide them through it and help them see it as a learning opportunity.
3) The power of autonomy
Parents of highly successful kids understand that autonomy plays a pivotal role in a child’s development. While it’s important to guide and support your child, it’s equally crucial to give them the freedom to make their own decisions.
According to research by the University of Minnesota, children who are given the opportunity to make decisions and learn from their consequences at an early age, are more likely to develop better decision-making skills later in life.
These parents don’t hover or micromanage. Instead, they allow their children to take responsibility for their actions, fostering independence and self-reliance.
They know that by doing this, they’re helping their children develop critical thinking skills and the confidence to navigate life’s challenges on their own.
So, if you’re aiming to raise a successful kid, remember that it’s not just about guiding them but also about allowing them the freedom to learn, grow, and make their own decisions.
4) Encouraging intrinsic motivation
One of the key things parents of highly successful kids understand is the power of intrinsic motivation. It’s not about dangling a carrot or threatening with a stick. It’s about nurturing a love for learning and a passion to explore.
These parents know that when their child is intrinsically motivated, they’re more likely to engage in an activity because they find it rewarding and enjoyable, not because they’re seeking external rewards or avoiding punishments.
They don’t push their children to achieve just for the sake of achievement. Instead, they encourage their interests, passions, and curiosity, fostering a love of learning that can drive their child to succeed in whatever they pursue.
This means supporting your child’s interests, even if they don’t align with your own expectations or aspirations. It means letting them explore new areas and discover what genuinely excites them.
So remember, if you want to raise a successful child, don’t just focus on the end result. Encourage a love of learning and nurture their intrinsic motivation.
5) Unconditional love and support
At the heart of every successful child is a foundation of unconditional love and support. Parents of highly successful kids know that their love should never be dependent on achievements or behavior.
These parents understand that their child’s worth is not defined by their grades, their accolades, or their failures. They ensure their child knows they are loved and valued for who they are, not what they do.
This unconditional love provides a safety net for children to take risks, face challenges, and learn from their mistakes, knowing they will still be loved no matter the outcome.
It teaches them that they don’t need to strive for perfection to earn love and acceptance. It allows them to grow with confidence and self-esteem, knowing they have a safe place to return to when things get tough.
So, as a parent, remember to express your love and support unconditionally. Your child’s self-worth should never be tied to their performance. Let them know you’re proud of them for who they are, not just what they achieve.
6) Promoting healthy habits
In my house, we have a saying: “The body fuels the mind.” And it’s a phrase we live by every day.
From a young age, my children understood the importance of regular exercise, a balanced diet, and adequate sleep. It wasn’t just about being physically healthy – it was about being mentally fit as well.
I remember many nights when my daughter would be up late studying for a test. I’d go into her room, switch off the light and say, “Let’s get some sleep. A rested mind is a resourceful mind.”
Parents of highly successful kids understand this principle. They know that physical health is intricately linked to mental performance.
They encourage their children to eat healthily, get regular exercise, and prioritize sleep. They understand that these habits are not only crucial for their child’s physical health but also for their cognitive function, emotional wellbeing, and overall success.
In essence, promoting healthy habits is not just about preventing illness or maintaining physical health. It’s about fostering a lifestyle that supports overall wellbeing and success.
7) Valuing effort over results
In a world that often measures success in terms of results, parents of highly successful kids take a different approach. They place more value on effort and growth rather than just the outcome.
These parents understand that success is not always about winning or coming first. It’s about the effort put into the task, the learning that takes place, and the growth that happens along the way.
They teach their children to appreciate the journey as much as the destination. They celebrate effort, perseverance, and improvement, not just achievement.
This approach helps to build resilience, encourages a love of learning, and fosters a healthy attitude towards challenges and setbacks.
So, if you want to raise a highly successful child, remember to value their effort as much as, if not more than, their results. Celebrate their hard work and perseverance, and they will learn that success is about more than just winning.
8) Modeling the behavior they wish to see
The most powerful tool in a parent’s arsenal is their own behavior. Parents of highly successful kids understand that their actions speak louder than their words.
These parents embody the values and behaviors they wish to instill in their children. They lead by example, demonstrating qualities like resilience, empathy, hard work, and respect in their everyday actions.
They know that their children are always watching and learning from them, consciously or subconsciously. So they strive to model the kind of behavior they want their child to adopt.
In essence, the most effective way to instill values and habits in your child is to live them yourself. Your actions can be the most powerful lesson for your child.
Final reflection: It’s about connection
The complexities of raising children and guiding them towards success are often deeply intertwined with the strength of connection between parent and child.
One such connection is the bond forged through understanding, support, and open communication.
Parents of highly successful kids don’t just know these principles – they live them. They foster a relationship with their children that goes beyond the role of a guide or a teacher. They become their child’s confidant, cheerleader, and most importantly, a safe haven.
Whether it’s nurturing a growth mindset, promoting healthy habits, or embodying the behaviors they wish to see, at the core of it all is a deep-seated connection between parent and child.
Remember, parenting isn’t just about raising successful kids. It’s about raising happy, resilient, and fulfilled individuals who know they are loved and understood for who they are.
So as you reflect on these principles and strategies, also ponder on your connection with your child. After all, that bond is likely the most significant factor in their path to success.