Lessons that 99% of women learn a bit too late in life, according to psychology

Isabella Chase by Isabella Chase | March 25, 2025, 7:57 am

Sadly, hindsight is 20/20, and many women find themselves learning certain life lessons a bit too late.

According to psychology, there are some common themes that emerge in this category of belated wisdom.

In this article, I’ll be delving into these crucial lessons that 99% of women tend to grasp just a tad too late.

Stay with me as we explore these profound insights, with the aim of helping you leapfrog potential pitfalls and navigate life’s path with a little more confidence and foresight.

1) The importance of self-care

Self-care is a term that’s been tossed around a lot lately. But it isn’t just about bubble baths and spa days.

According to psychology, self-care is about recognizing and meeting your own needs, both emotionally and physically. It’s about realizing that you can’t pour from an empty cup.

Many women, however, tend to learn this vital lesson a bit too late in life. They spend years prioritizing the needs of others over their own, whether it’s their children, partners, or even jobs.

It’s not until later in life when they’re feeling burnt out or unfulfilled that they realize the importance of prioritizing their own wellbeing.

Emphasizing the importance of self-care early on can help women avoid this common pitfall. It’s not selfish to take care of oneself; it’s essential.

But remember, learning this lesson is more than just understanding it intellectually. It requires practice and conscious effort to make self-care a priority in your life.

2) Trusting your instincts

This lesson is one that I personally learned a bit too late in life. Trusting your instincts is something that we often overlook, especially as women.

We’re often taught to be polite, to not make waves, and to second-guess ourselves. But in my own life, I’ve found that my gut feeling is more often right than not.

I remember a time when I was offered a job that looked perfect on paper. It was a step up in my career, the pay was great, and the company had a stellar reputation. But something just didn’t feel right.

Despite my uneasiness, I accepted the job because I thought it was the logical decision. But within a few months, I realized why my instincts had been screaming at me. The work culture was toxic and it took a serious toll on my mental health.

That was a harsh lesson to learn, but it taught me the importance of trusting my gut feelings. Your instincts are there for a reason – they’re your own personal early warning system.

So ladies, don’t ignore that little voice inside you or that feeling in your gut. It may just save you from learning things the hard way.

3) The quest for perfection

Perfection, it seems, is a goal that many women strive for. From perfect bodies to perfect homes, this pursuit can become all-consuming. Psychologists suggest that this intense focus on perfection is often linked to societal expectations and pressures.

Here’s something you might not know – The World Health Organization’s World Mental Health Surveys found that women are nearly twice as likely as men to experience anxiety, and this is often linked to the pressures of trying to meet unrealistic standards of perfection.

This quest for flawlessness can lead to stress, burnout, and a negative self-image. It’s only later in life that many women realize the fruitlessness of this pursuit.

Life isn’t about achieving perfection. It’s about growth, learning, and embracing our imperfections. It’s about understanding that it’s okay to not be perfect and that our worth isn’t determined by how closely we match up to societal standards.

So the next time you find yourself striving for perfection, remember that it’s okay to be perfectly imperfect. You are enough just as you are.

4) The value of financial independence

Money matters are often a tricky subject, but they’re especially important for women. For many of us, we don’t learn the true value of financial independence until later in life.

Financial independence isn’t just about earning money. It’s about understanding how money works, knowing how to budget and save, and making informed decisions about investments and retirement.

When women are financially independent, they have the ability to make choices. They can leave an unhealthy relationship, take care of themselves in old age, and provide for their children without relying on a partner.

Sadly, many women learn this lesson a bit too late. They find themselves stuck in situations they don’t want to be in because they lack the financial means to make a change.

So whether you’re just starting your career or you’re already deep into it, remember this: it’s never too early or too late to learn about money and take steps towards financial independence.

5) The significance of genuine relationships

We are social creatures by nature, and relationships form a significant part of our lives. But as we navigate through life, we often realize that the quality of our relationships is far more important than the quantity.

Many women find themselves investing time and energy into relationships that don’t serve them well – be it friendships that feel draining, romantic relationships that are one-sided, or professional connections that are purely transactional.

It’s only later in life that many women realize the importance of surrounding themselves with people who truly value and respect them. People who uplift, inspire, and support them in their journey.

Genuine relationships are those where you can be your authentic self, where you feel seen and heard, where love and respect are mutual. These are the connections that enrich your life and contribute to your happiness and growth.

So, cherish those genuine relationships in your life. And remember, it’s never too late to let go of toxic ones. After all, life is too short to surround yourself with anything but love and authenticity.

6) Embracing change

Change can be scary. It can be daunting to step outside of our comfort zones and face the unknown. I’ve struggled with this fear myself.

A few years ago, I was presented with an opportunity to move to a different city for a job. The prospect was exciting but also incredibly frightening. I had never lived anywhere else and the thought of leaving my familiar surroundings, my friends, and my family was overwhelming.

Despite my fears, I took the leap and it was one of the best decisions I’ve ever made. It wasn’t easy, there were challenges along the way, but that experience taught me so much about myself and opened doors I never knew existed.

The lesson here is to embrace change, even when it’s uncomfortable. Change is a part of life. It’s through change that we grow, learn new things, and discover our potential.

Don’t let fear hold you back from embracing new opportunities. You never know where they might lead you. Remember, life begins at the end of your comfort zone.

7) Self-acceptance

Self-acceptance is a critical life lesson that many women learn later in life. From a young age, societal expectations and demands can lead us down a path of constant self-criticism and comparison with others.

But the truth is, self-acceptance is key to our overall well-being and happiness. It’s about acknowledging our strengths and weaknesses and understanding that our worth is not defined by external validation or approval.

When we accept ourselves fully, we free ourselves from the burden of trying to fit into someone else’s idea of perfect. We become more compassionate towards ourselves, and in turn, towards others.

Remember, self-acceptance doesn’t mean stagnation. It’s about recognizing where you are now and knowing that it’s okay to be a work in progress.

So, start embracing all parts of yourself – your imperfections, your mistakes, your successes, and everything in between. Because you are enough just as you are.

8) Recognizing your own worth

Out of all the lessons learned later in life, recognizing your own worth is perhaps the most significant.

Many women are taught to be modest, to downplay their accomplishments, and to put others’ needs before their own. This can lead to a lifetime of undervaluing ourselves and our contributions.

But here’s the thing – you are valuable. You are important. Your thoughts, your feelings, your dreams, and your desires – they matter.

And no one else gets to decide your worth. It’s not determined by how much you do for others or by external achievements. Your worth is inherent.

So stand tall. Own your accomplishments. Set boundaries. Prioritize yourself. Because you are worthy, and it’s important that you recognize it for yourself.

Final thoughts: The power is in your hands

When it comes to life’s lessons, it’s true that many women tend to learn certain ones a bit too late. But the beauty of life is that it’s never too late to learn, grow, and make changes.

These lessons – self-care, trusting your instincts, the quest for perfection, financial independence, the value of genuine relationships, embracing change, self-acceptance, and recognizing your own worth – are universal. And they’re not just for women. They’re lessons that can benefit everyone.

What’s important to remember is that these lessons aren’t meant to instill regret about the past. Instead, they’re meant to empower you for the future.

The psychologist Carl Rogers once said, “The only person who is educated is the one who has learned how to learn and change.” And indeed, the capacity to learn and adapt is one of our greatest strengths as human beings.

So as you reflect on these lessons and how they resonate with your own experiences, remember this: The power to shape your life is in your hands. And every day brings a new opportunity for learning and growth.