Respect is a two-way street and often depends on what we choose to share with others. Sharing too much might make you lose respect, while keeping certain things to yourself can earn you more respect in the long run.

Living a life of respect isn’t about being secretive, but knowing what to reveal and what to keep under wraps.

For those who aim to be more respected, there are nine things you might want to consider keeping to yourself. But remember, it’s not about deception, it’s about discretion.

Here are the nine things to keep in mind if you aim for more respect in your life.

1) Your personal grievances

Respect is often built on the foundation of professionalism and maturity. And nothing erodes that foundation faster than constantly airing your personal grievances.

We all have issues and problems in our lives. Sharing these with close friends and family can be therapeutic. But when these grievances are shared frequently and with everyone, it can paint a picture of you as someone who is constantly discontented, negative and difficult to be around.

Keeping your personal grievances to yourself not only portrays you as someone who can handle their problems, but also as an individual who respects the boundaries and emotional space of others.

So, if you’re aiming for more respect in your life, consider keeping your personal grievances to yourself. Not only will it make you seem more professional, but it will also help you avoid unnecessary drama.

Just remember, this isn’t about bottling up your emotions or ignoring your problems. It’s about knowing when, where, and with whom to share them.

2) Your past mistakes

We all make mistakes, it’s an inevitable part of life. I remember a time when I shared a past mistake at a social gathering, thinking it would make for an interesting story. Instead, it led to judgments and a change in how people perceived me.

Mistakes are learning experiences, but they can be misinterpreted when shared with the wrong people or in the wrong context. By keeping your past mistakes to yourself, you control your narrative and how others view you.

However, this doesn’t mean you should deny or hide your past if asked directly. It’s about knowing when sharing is beneficial and when it might lead to unnecessary judgments. Being respected often means being seen as someone who learns from their past, not someone who is defined by it.

3) Your financial status

Money, as they say, talks. But sometimes, it’s better to keep it silent. Sharing your financial status, whether you’re doing well or struggling, can lead to a host of issues. On one end, it can create envy and resentment; on the other, it can lead to pity or judgment.

In a survey conducted by GoBankingRates, 70% of respondents stated they consider personal finance matters to be too private to discuss openly. This shows that most people prefer to keep their financial affairs private.

Keeping your financial status to yourself allows you to maintain a level of privacy that can lead to increased respect. It demonstrates your maturity and understanding of the sensitive nature of this topic. After all, respect is often earned by those who understand the value of discretion.

4) Your deepest insecurities

We all have insecurities, it’s part of being human. They shape us and can even drive us to improve. However, sharing these insecurities with everyone can make you appear vulnerable and can sometimes invite unnecessary criticism or judgement.

By keeping these insecurities to yourself, you’re not denying their existence, but rather choosing to deal with them in a private and controlled manner. It shows that you have the strength and maturity to handle your own challenges.

This doesn’t mean you should never confide in someone about your insecurities. It simply means being selective about who you share these personal matters with. This selectivity can lead to increased respect from others who see you as someone who is self-aware and capable of managing their own personal growth.

5) Your acts of kindness

There’s something uniquely beautiful about an act of kindness carried out in silence. Not for applause, not for recognition, but purely for the joy of helping another.

When you perform acts of kindness, consider keeping them to yourself. Sharing your good deeds can sometimes diminish their value, turning them into a quest for approval rather than a genuine act of goodwill.

By keeping your acts of kindness to yourself, you maintain the purity and authenticity of your intentions. It demonstrates humility and grace, qualities that are deeply respected.

So next time you help someone, let the act speak for itself. Let it be a secret between you and the universe. The respect you gain from others might not be immediate or even noticeable, but it will be deep and sincere.

6) Your personal ambitions

Ambitions are powerful. They’re the fuel that drives us towards our goals. But just like a fire, they need to be protected and nurtured, away from winds of doubt or negativity that could extinguish them.

I’ve always been a dreamer, with ambitions that sometimes felt bigger than me. I’ve learned over time that not everyone will understand or support your ambitions. Sharing them with the wrong people can sometimes lead to discouragement or skepticism.

By keeping your personal ambitions to yourself, you protect them. You ensure they remain your own, untainted by the doubts or negativity of others. This shows others you’re someone who is self-driven and confident in their path, qualities that command respect.

Remember, this doesn’t mean never sharing your ambitions. It means being selective about who you let in on your dreams and aspirations. This discretion can earn you respect from those who recognize your commitment to your goals.

7) Your family issues

Every family has its own dynamics and issues. While it’s important to seek help when necessary, airing family issues in public can often lead to misunderstandings and judgments.

Sharing these matters widely can also betray the trust of your family members, straining your relationships with them. It paints a picture of you as someone who doesn’t respect the boundaries of their own family.

By keeping your family issues to yourself, you maintain the privacy and dignity of your loved ones. It shows you’re a person of integrity who can be trusted with sensitive matters.

So, if you’re aiming for more respect, consider keeping your family issues within the family. Remember, respect is often earned by those who know how to respect the privacy of others.

9) Your personal values

Your values define who you are. They’re the core beliefs that guide your decisions and actions. But sharing them too openly can sometimes lead to debates, judgments, or even conflicts.

By keeping your personal values to yourself, you’re not hiding who you are, but rather choosing to live your values rather than constantly discussing them. Actions, after all, speak louder than words.

And when people see you living your values consistently, it commands respect. It shows you’re someone who doesn’t just talk about their beliefs but actually lives by them. This authenticity is one of the most respected traits anyone can possess.

So let your actions do the talking and let your values shine through what you do, not what you say.

Final thoughts: It’s about respect

At the heart of it all, respect is about recognizing and honoring the dignity of others. And often, this starts with how we handle our own personal information.

The philosopher Immanuel Kant once said, “In law a man is guilty when he violates the rights of others. In ethics he is guilty if he only thinks of doing so.” In the same vein, we can say that in relationships, you gain respect not only by how you treat others but also by how you treat your own information.

Choosing to keep these nine things to yourself isn’t about creating a facade or hiding who you are. It’s about exercising discretion, protecting your own dignity, and respecting the boundaries and emotional space of others.

So as you navigate through life, remember that respect is earned through actions, not just words. And sometimes, these actions involve the conscious choice of silence. After all, silence can be golden, especially when it comes to commanding respect.