There’s a considerable difference between couples who are frequently physically intimate and those who aren’t.

This difference isn’t just visible in the bedroom, but also in their daily behaviors.

According to psychology, couples who are rarely physically intimate often exhibit certain patterns of interaction. Understanding these behaviors can give us great insights into the dynamics of their relationship.

Below, we’ll dive into these signs that hint at a lack of physical intimacy among couples. This is not about pointing fingers or making anyone feel guilty. It’s about understanding and awareness.

So, let’s get started.

1) Less physical touch outside the bedroom

You might think that lack of physical intimacy only affects what happens in the bedroom. But in reality, it often extends beyond that.

Psychology shows us that couples with little physical intimacy usually display less casual touch as well. This includes things like holding hands, hugging, or a simple touch on the arm or shoulder.

These small acts of touch are incredibly important in a relationship. They’re ways of showing affection, of subtly saying “I’m here for you”. When these gestures become less frequent, it’s a sign that physical intimacy may be lacking.

But remember, every couple is different. Some naturally express their love differently. This doesn’t automatically mean there’s a problem – but it could be a sign worth paying attention to.

2) Personal space becomes a priority

As someone who’s experienced this in a past relationship, I can attest to the fact that when physical intimacy is lacking, personal space often becomes a priority.

Let me share a little bit of my story. I was in a relationship where we were rarely physically intimate. Over time, I noticed that we started distancing ourselves from each other, not just in the bedroom but also in public places. We would sit further apart on the couch, walk without our arms around each other, and even sleep on opposite ends of the bed.

At first, it wasn’t a conscious decision. It just happened. But as time went by, it became our new normal. Looking back, I can see how this increasing need for personal space was a sign of our dwindling physical intimacy.

Again, every couple is unique. Increased personal space does not necessarily signal a problem. But if it’s coupled with other signs, it might be a red flag indicating a lack of physical intimacy.

3) Non-verbal communication decreases

Non-verbal communication like eye contact, smiling, and open body language is a crucial part of any relationship, romantic or otherwise.

Did you know that around 55% of communication is non-verbal?

In couples who aren’t frequently physically intimate, this form of communication often decreases. They may avoid eye contact, smile less at each other or unconsciously exhibit closed body language like crossed arms.

These can be subtle signs, but they’re crucial in understanding the level of comfort and intimacy in a relationship. If you notice these behaviors are changing in your relationship, it might be time to have a conversation about it.

4) Emotional intimacy also suffers

Physical intimacy and emotional intimacy are often closely intertwined.

In relationships where physical closeness is lacking, it’s not uncommon to find that emotional closeness begins to fade as well. Conversations may become more superficial, with less sharing of personal thoughts and feelings.

It’s like they’re stuck on the surface level, unable to dive deeper. This lack of emotional connection can further exacerbate the lack of physical intimacy, leading to a cycle that’s hard to break.

However, it’s important to remember that communication is key. Understanding and addressing these behaviors can go a long way in improving both physical and emotional intimacy.

5) A longing for connection

Deep down, we all crave for connection. We want to feel seen, heard, and understood by our partner.

In couples where physical intimacy is rare, one or both partners may feel a deep sense of longing. A craving for that closeness that seems just out of reach.

This can manifest in different ways. Perhaps they become more sensitive to their partner’s actions or words, or maybe they start seeking connection elsewhere – in friendships, hobbies, or work.

It’s a silent yearning that may not be evident on the surface but can weigh heavily on the relationship.

Remember, it’s never too late to reach out and bridge that gap. Sometimes, all it takes is an open conversation and a willingness to understand each other’s needs and desires.

6) Irritability and frustration become more frequent

In a time of my life when physical intimacy was scarce in my relationship, I noticed that irritability and frustration became more common. Small things would set us off and arguments would spring from the most trivial issues.

What I didn’t realize then was that these emotional outbursts were not really about the dishes left in the sink or the forgotten grocery item. They were signals, symptoms of the deeper issue – our lack of physical intimacy.

This is not an uncommon scenario. When our basic need for physical connection isn’t met, it can trigger feelings of dissatisfaction and annoyance, leading to increased conflict in the relationship.

So, the next time you find yourself in a needless argument, pause and think. Could there be something deeper that needs addressing?

7) The relationship feels more platonic

When physical intimacy dwindles, a romantic relationship can start to feel more like a platonic friendship.

This isn’t necessarily a bad thing. Friendship is a wonderful foundation for a relationship. However, in a romantic partnership, physical intimacy helps to maintain that special spark. It sets romantic relationships apart from other types of relationships in our lives.

Without it, you may find yourselves behaving more like roommates or friends than lovers. This shift can be subtle and gradual, but if left unchecked, it can lead to feelings of dissatisfaction and disconnect in the relationship.

Remember, it’s always possible to reignite that spark with open communication and effort from both sides.

8) Lack of physical intimacy does not mean lack of love

One of the most crucial things to understand is that a lack of physical intimacy doesn’t necessarily mean a lack of love. Love and physical intimacy are not always linearly correlated.

Couples may go through phases where physical intimacy decreases, due to stress, health issues, or a multitude of other reasons. This doesn’t negate the love they have for each other.

However, it’s important to address these issues openly and honestly. Ignoring them can lead to misunderstanding and hurt feelings.

Remember, every relationship is unique and what works for one may not work for another. The key is to find a balance that suits both partners and nurtures the relationship.

Final thought: It’s about understanding

Deep at the heart of human relationships lies the necessity for understanding.

In the realm of intimate relationships, physical intimacy is one of many aspects that contribute to the overall health and happiness of both individuals involved.

Couples who are rarely physically intimate may display certain behaviors as we’ve explored in this article. But it’s important to remember that these are only indications, not hard rules.

Every relationship is unique, with its own dynamics and ways of expressing love. The key is understanding your partner’s needs and communicating yours effectively.

As renowned psychologist Carl Rogers said, “The greatest gift we can give to others is our understanding.” This holds particularly true in intimate relationships.

So whether you’re in a relationship where physical intimacy is abundant or one where it’s scarce, remember to seek understanding above all else. It’s through this understanding that we nurture our connections, allowing them to grow stronger and deeper.