There’s a huge gap between being a difficult person and making life unbearable for those around you.

The difference boils down to intent. Being a difficult person might be unintentional or circumstantial, but making life miserable for others is usually a conscious decision, driven by toxic personality traits.

Understanding these traits can help us recognize and navigate around such individuals, or even check ourselves if we’re guilty of any. It’s not about judging, it’s about understanding how certain traits can negatively impact others.

So, let’s dive into the 8 toxic personality traits of someone that makes life miserable for those around them.

1) Chronic negativity

There’s hardly a trait more toxic than chronic negativity.

We all have bad days, sure, but there are some people who seem to be eternally stuck in a storm cloud. These individuals are consistently pessimistic, always seeing the glass half empty and seldom finding anything to be content about.

This can be draining to those around them, as it sucks the joy out of life and replaces it with a persistent sense of gloom.

Consider this as an emotional vampire scenario. They suck the positivity out of you, leaving you feeling drained and low-spirited.

And while everyone is entitled to feel down from time to time, someone with a chronic negativity trait seems to revel in spreading their gloom around like confetti.

So, the first toxic trait to watch out for is chronic negativity. Trust me, it’s a fast track to making life miserable for those around them.

2) The blame game

Another toxic trait I’ve come across is the constant need to blame others.

I had a friend who would never take responsibility for their actions, always having an excuse or someone else to blame when things went wrong. It wasn’t their fault that they were late; the traffic was to blame. Their failed relationship? Their partner’s fault, of course. The lack of progress at work? You guessed it, their boss was holding them back.

This constant evasion of responsibility can create a toxic environment. It not only shields them from any self-improvement but also creates tension and resentment amongst those around them. Just like a stone thrown into a pond, the ripples of this behavior can spread far and wide, affecting relationships and morale.

So, the second toxic trait is a refusal to accept responsibility, coupled with a tendency to blame others for one’s own failings. It’s a trait I’ve personally seen make life miserable for many.

3) Unreliability

Unreliability can be particularly toxic, especially when it becomes a habit.

Being unreliable might not seem like a big deal to some, but it can be a source of great frustration and stress for those who have to deal with it.

When someone consistently fails to keep their promises or meet their commitments, it sends a message that they don’t value other people’s time or trust. This can erode relationships and create an environment of uncertainty and frustration.

Did you know that according to a study by the American Psychological Association, trustworthiness is one of the most valued traits in a relationship? And being reliable is a key component of being trustworthy. So if someone is habitually unreliable, they’re chipping away at that vital element of trust, making life difficult for those around them.

So there you go, our third toxic trait: unreliability. It’s more than just being late; it’s about breaking trust and causing distress.

4) Excessive criticism

A fourth toxic trait that can make life miserable for those around is excessive criticism.

Constructive criticism is one thing; it helps us grow, improve, and become better versions of ourselves. But when criticism becomes constant and harsh, it turns into a destructive force.

Individuals who constantly criticize often have a knack for spotting the flaws in everything and everyone around them. They rarely see the good, focusing instead on what’s wrong or what could be better.

This constant negativity can be exhausting for those on the receiving end, leading to decreased self-esteem and increased stress. It creates an environment where people are more concerned about avoiding criticism than they are about doing their best.

So if you come across someone who seems to have an endless supply of criticism, you’ve likely encountered another toxic trait.

5) Lack of empathy

Here’s a trait that truly hits close to the heart: a lack of empathy.

Empathy, the ability to understand and share the feelings of others, is a fundamental human trait. It allows us to connect on a deeper level, to comfort and support each other through life’s ups and downs.

But when someone lacks empathy, it creates a chasm in this connection. They may dismiss others’ feelings, show indifference to their struggles, or fail to offer comfort in times of need. It can feel like shouting into a void, where your feelings and experiences are met with apathy rather than understanding.

This can be particularly damaging in close relationships, where emotional support is crucial. It’s like living in a world where your feelings are constantly dismissed or ignored.

So the fifth toxic trait we’re talking about is a lack of empathy. It’s a harsh reality for those who have to deal with it.

6) Emotional manipulation

Emotional manipulation is a toxic trait that’s hard to identify, but it leaves a lasting impact.

It’s when someone uses your emotions against you, playing on your fears, insecurities or even your love for them to get what they want. They might guilt you into doing things, or create a scenario where you feel obligated to comply with their desires.

I remember feeling constantly on edge, always second-guessing myself and my decisions. It was like walking on eggshells, never knowing when the next emotional landmine would explode.

This not only damages self-esteem but can also lead to serious emotional and mental distress. It’s an insidious form of control, one that leaves invisible scars.

So, the sixth toxic trait: emotional manipulation. It’s a silent killer of self-worth and peace of mind.

7) Excessive jealousy

Excessive jealousy is another toxic trait that can make life miserable for those around.

While a little jealousy is natural in relationships, excessive jealousy goes beyond the norm. It’s a constant, gnawing feeling that someone else is getting what you deserve, or that you’re losing something you have.

Those with this trait often question their partners, friends or family members excessively, doubting their loyalty and creating strife where there should be trust. They may try to control their loved ones’ actions to alleviate their own insecurities.

This can create an oppressive atmosphere of suspicion and mistrust, making life extremely difficult for those on the receiving end of the jealousy.

So the seventh toxic trait to watch out for is excessive jealousy. It’s a trait that can turn love into possession and trust into suspicion.

8) Narcissism

Narcissism, the excessive interest in or admiration of oneself, is the final toxic trait we’re discussing.

Narcissists believe they are superior to others and have little regard for other people’s feelings or needs. They crave admiration and attention, often manipulating situations to ensure they’re the center of attention.

Their lack of empathy and inflated self-importance can create a one-sided relationship where the needs of others are routinely ignored. This can be emotionally draining and cause significant harm to those around them.

Remember, everyone deserves respect, empathy, and consideration. If someone’s behavior consistently negates these basic human rights, then that’s a red flag. It’s crucial to recognize these traits and protect ourselves from the harm they can cause.

Final thoughts: It’s about awareness and action

Unraveling the complexities of human behavior and personality traits is an ongoing journey.

Understanding these toxic traits isn’t just about diagnosing the problem, but rather, it’s about fostering a sense of self-awareness. It’s about recognizing these traits within ourselves and others, and understanding the impact they have on our relationships and overall well-being.

As Carl Jung once said, “Knowing your own darkness is the best method for dealing with the darknesses of other people.” Recognizing these traits isn’t an exercise in judgment, but a step towards understanding, compassion, and personal growth.

In the end, it’s up to us to choose our path – to let these traits govern our actions or to take a step back, reflect, and strive for healthier behaviors.

Remember, everyone has the potential for change. And every step taken towards understanding and improvement is a victory in itself.