There’s a stark contrast between living a day filled with joy and one that feels like an emotional drain.

The difference boils down to habits. We often unknowingly engage in daily routines that suck the joy right out of our lives, leaving us feeling empty and unfulfilled.

Identifying these joy-draining habits can be a game-changer. It gives us the power to start making conscious choices that can bring back our joy and happiness.

In this article, I’m going to share 8 everyday things we do that are stealing our joy. My hope is that recognizing these patterns will give you the tools to reclaim your happiness, one day at a time.

1) Overthinking

We all do it, don’t we? We replay past mistakes in our heads, agonize over decisions, and worry about the future.

Welcome to the energy-draining habit of overthinking.

Overthinking is when we dwell on our problems, dissecting them into a million pieces. It’s when we analyze, comment, and repeat the same thoughts over and again, eventually creating an endless loop in our mind.

The thing is – it’s not just pointless, but it also robs us of our happiness. It creates stress, interferes with problem-solving, and can lead to mental health issues like depression and anxiety.

Consider this: When you’re stuck in overthinking mode, you’re dwelling on a problem rather than seeking a solution. It’s like being stuck in quicksand – the more you struggle, the deeper you sink.

So if you want to regain your joy, it’s essential to break free from this cycle of overthinking. Learn to let go of what you can’t control, focus on solutions rather than problems, and practice mindfulness to stay present.

And remember – it won’t happen overnight. But with patience and persistence, you can reclaim your joy from the clutches of overthinking.

2) Neglecting self-care

Here’s a confession: I’ve been guilty of this one.

In the hustle and bustle of daily life, it’s easy to push our own needs aside. We get so caught up in taking care of others, meeting deadlines, and ticking off to-do lists that we end up neglecting ourselves.

I remember a time when I was working around the clock, trying to balance my career and personal life. Days turned into weeks, and weeks into months. I was constantly on the go, barely finding time to eat proper meals, let alone exercise or spend time doing things I loved.

And guess what? It started showing in my mood. I was irritable, stressed out, and always tired. I had drained myself of joy without even realizing it.

Neglecting self-care is a silent joy thief. It may not seem like much at first, but over time, it can take a severe toll on your happiness and well-being.

So, take it from someone who’s been there: Make self-care a priority. Find time every day to do something that nourishes you – physically, mentally, or spiritually. It may be as simple as taking a walk in the park, reading a book, or just sitting quietly for a few minutes.

Remember – you can’t pour from an empty cup. Take care of yourself first, and you’ll find your joy starts to overflow.

3) Comparing ourselves to others

In this digital age, it’s easier than ever to fall into the trap of comparing ourselves to others. We scroll through social media, seeing snapshots of people’s perfect lives – their exotic vacations, happy families, and successful careers.

But here’s something to consider: Studies show that heavy use of social media is linked to feelings of depression, anxiety, loneliness, self-hatred, and even suicidal thoughts.

Why? Because comparison is a joy thief. It makes us feel inadequate and leads us to believe that everyone else is leading a better life.

The truth is, what we see online is a curated highlight reel. It doesn’t reflect the real-life struggles and challenges that everyone faces.

So next time you find yourself comparing your life to someone else’s Instagram feed, remember that you’re only seeing a fraction of their reality. Instead of comparing, focus on appreciating what you have and working towards your own goals. That’s the true path to joy.

4) Holding onto grudges

We all have been hurt by someone at some point in our lives. It’s a part of being human. But holding onto that hurt, nurturing it into a grudge, is like carrying a heavy backpack filled with rocks everywhere we go. It’s exhausting and joy-draining.

Holding a grudge often feels like the right thing to do. It’s as if we’re making the other person pay for what they’ve done. But in reality, it’s us who pay the price. Our joy, peace of mind, and even our health can be negatively affected by the bitterness we hold inside.

Forgiveness, on the other hand, is like setting down that heavy backpack. It doesn’t mean forgetting or condoning what happened, but rather choosing to let go of the resentment for our own sake.

Remember, forgiveness is a gift you give yourself. It’s an act of self-love that can restore your joy and lighten your emotional load. So why not try to let go of old grudges and see how much lighter you feel?

5) Ignoring our feelings

Our emotions are a part of us. They’re an integral part of our human experience, and yet, so often, we try to push them away.

We put on a brave face when we’re hurting. We swallow our anger, brush off our fears, and suppress our sadness, thinking it’s the ‘strong’ thing to do. But ignoring our feelings is like trying to hold a beach ball underwater – it takes a lot of effort and eventually, it pops back up.

Our emotions are not just there to make us feel good or bad – they’re signals, telling us something about ourselves and the world around us. Ignoring them is like ignoring the check engine light on your car’s dashboard. It doesn’t solve the problem; it just allows it to get worse.

Embracing our emotions, both pleasant and unpleasant, can be surprisingly liberating. It’s about acknowledging what we feel without judgment or resistance.

Remember, it’s okay not to be okay sometimes. It’s okay to feel what you’re feeling. By allowing ourselves to fully experience our emotions, we create space for joy and peace in our lives.

6) Living in the past or future

I used to spend a lot of time ruminating about the past and worrying about the future. From past mistakes to future uncertainties, my mind was always somewhere else, never in the present moment.

This constant time-traveling was exhausting and left little room for joy.

Living in the past can keep us stuck in regret and guilt, while constantly worrying about the future can make us anxious and stressed. Neither of these states is conducive to joy or happiness.

I’ve found that practicing mindfulness – focusing on the present moment without judgment – has been a game-changer for me. It’s helped me to appreciate the here and now, to savor the little joys of everyday life that I used to overlook.

So if you’re always dwelling on what was or what might be, try bringing your attention back to the present. It’s the only moment we truly have, and it’s where joy lives.

7) Chasing perfection

Perfection can be a tricky thing. On one hand, it pushes us to strive for excellence, to always give our best. But on the other hand, when we start chasing an unattainable ideal of perfection, it can drain us of joy.

When we’re constantly aiming for perfect, we’re never satisfied. There’s always something more to be done, something that could be better. This can lead to stress, burnout, and feelings of inadequacy.

Moreover, life is inherently imperfect. It’s full of ups and downs, successes and failures, joys and sorrows. And that’s okay. It’s these imperfections that make life beautiful and worth living.

So instead of striving for perfection, why not strive for progress? Celebrate your achievements, no matter how small. Appreciate the journey as much as the destination.

Remember, life isn’t about being perfect; it’s about being real. And in that authenticity lies true joy.

8) Not practicing gratitude

Gratitude is a powerful practice that can transform our lives. When we take time to appreciate what we have, rather than focusing on what we lack, we open the door to joy.

Gratitude helps us see the good in our lives. It shifts our focus from problems to possibilities, from lack to abundance. It’s a simple practice that can make a profound difference in our perspective and mood.

So, take a moment each day to reflect on the things you’re grateful for. It could be something as simple as a warm cup of coffee in the morning or as significant as a loved one’s health.

Remember, the more you practice gratitude, the more you’ll find to be grateful for. And with gratitude comes joy.

Final thoughts: It’s all about awareness

As we navigate through life, it’s important to remember that our daily habits and routines play a significant role in determining our emotional state.

The conscious understanding of the actions that drain us of joy is the first step towards reclaiming our happiness. It’s not about eliminating these behaviors overnight, but more about gradually becoming aware of them and making mindful efforts to change.

Remember, our habits shape our lives more than we realize. The small, seemingly insignificant choices we make each day can either push us towards joy or pull us away from it.

So take a moment to reflect on your own habits. Are there any joy-drainers you need to let go of? Are there shifts you need to make?

Remember, the power to cultivate joy lies within you. It starts with awareness, followed by conscious choices. And with every step you take towards eliminating these joy-drainers, you’re one step closer to living a happier, more fulfilling life.