8 things a toxic ex will do when they realize they cannot control you anymore

It’s a whole different ballgame when a toxic ex realizes they’ve lost control over you.
It’s about them trying to regain power, but this time, you’re not playing along. This shift in dynamics can lead to all sorts of desperate tactics on their part.
These tactics are simply their attempts to reel you back in. And knowing what they are can help you stay strong and resist falling back into their manipulative trap.
Below, I’ll outline the eight things a toxic ex tends to do when they realize they can no longer control you. These insights will arm you with the understanding and strength to maintain your newfound freedom.
1) They’ll pull out the guilt card
A toxic ex has a knack for making you feel guilty. It’s a classic control tactic they’ve probably used throughout your relationship.
Once they realize they’ve lost control over you, they will likely turn up the guilt tripping to maximum. They’ll play the victim and make it seem like you’re the one causing them pain, even though they’re the ones who have been toxic.
They might bring up old memories, express remorse, or even make you feel guilty for moving on. The aim here is to manipulate your emotions and make you feel bad for standing up for yourself.
Remember, it’s not your responsibility to make them feel better about their actions. Don’t let their guilt trips pull you back into their web of toxicity. You owe it to yourself to maintain your boundaries and preserve your peace.
2) They’ll suddenly become overly nice
Just like the weather, a toxic ex can change rapidly – from stormy to sunny in a flash. I remember when my own toxic ex realized he was losing control, his demeanor flipped overnight. After weeks of cold-shouldering me, he was suddenly the nicest person on earth.
He’d text me sweet messages, ask about my day, and even offered to help with tasks he’d never considered before. It was all very confusing and, frankly, a bit scary.
This sudden change of behavior is another control tactic. By becoming overly nice, they’re trying to show you that they’ve changed or that they can be better. But more often than not, it’s just a façade to pull you back in.
Beware of this sudden niceness. It’s important not to get swept up in this act and remember the reasons why you ended things in the first place.
3) They’ll try to make you jealous
Suddenly, your toxic ex seems to have the most enviable life. They may flaunt new relationships or experiences on social media or drop hints about their newfound happiness in conversations.
This is a psychological ploy known as mate value enhancement. By appearing more desirable and happy without you, they hope to provoke feelings of jealousy and insecurity in you. The goal? To make you second guess your decision and win you back.
Don’t let this tactic cloud your judgment. You ended things for a reason. Their seemingly perfect life doesn’t negate the toxicity they brought into yours.
4) They’ll resort to badmouthing you
When a toxic ex loses control, they sometimes turn to character assassination as a last-ditch effort. This involves spreading rumors, sharing your secrets, or painting you in a negative light to others.
Their aim? To damage your reputation and self-esteem. They hope that by doing so, you’ll feel isolated and vulnerable, making it easier for them to regain control.
Remember, this is more of a reflection on them than it is on you. True friends and loved ones will see through these tactics and stand by you. It’s important to keep your cool, maintain your dignity, and not get dragged into their drama.
5) They’ll bombard you with memories
This can be one of the most heart-wrenching tactics a toxic ex will use. They’ll remind you of the good times, the shared dreams, the sweet moments that once made your relationship feel special.
They might send you old pictures, bring up shared jokes, or even revisit places that hold sentimental value. The goal is to make you nostalgic and question your decision to break away.
It’s normal for this to tug at your heartstrings. After all, you once shared a connection. But remember, these happy memories don’t erase the toxicity that led to the breakup. Your emotional health and well-being are far more important than reliving past moments. Hold on to your decision and keep moving forward.
6) They’ll keep popping up in your life
It’s like they have a sixth sense for when you’re starting to heal and move on. Just when you think you’re finally getting over them, they show up again.
I’ve been there. Just as I was starting to get my life back on track after a toxic breakup, my ex started turning up at my favorite spots. He’d show up at the same coffee shops, parks, even grocery stores I frequented. It felt like he was everywhere.
This isn’t a coincidence. It’s a deliberate ploy to keep themselves in your life, hoping to rekindle the relationship.
Remember, you have every right to live your life without their interference. Don’t let their unexpected appearances shake you. Stay firm in your decision and keep moving forward.
7) They’ll play the ‘we can still be friends’ card
This is a tricky one. After all, it’s not unusual for exes to transition into friends after a breakup. But with a toxic ex, this proposal isn’t as innocent as it seems.
They suggest friendship as a way to keep a foot in the door. By maintaining a connection, they hope to influence you and possibly steer things back to a relationship.
Remember, it’s okay to say no. You’re not obligated to be friends with your ex, especially if the relationship was toxic. Prioritize your healing and mental health above all else.
8) They’ll try to make you doubt your decision
This is perhaps the most dangerous tactic of all. Your toxic ex might attempt to convince you that breaking up was a mistake. They’ll question your judgment, make you second guess yourself, and try to instill doubt about your ability to make decisions.
This is a powerful manipulation technique aimed at undermining your confidence. Don’t fall for it. Trust in your strength and the wisdom of your decision. You chose to walk away for a reason – your peace and happiness. Hold on to that and continue moving forward.
Reflection: It’s about reclaiming your power
Understanding these tactics is more than just recognizing the games a toxic ex might play. It’s about reclaiming your power, your self-worth, and your right to a healthy and balanced relationship.
When faced with these manipulative strategies, take a step back and remind yourself of their toxicity. Remember the reasons why you walked away in the first place and the strength it took to do so.
Psychologist Dr. George Simon once said, “Toxic people get you to give and give until you have nothing left… until you no longer even have a sense of yourself.”
In recognizing their tactics and standing firm in your decision, you’re not just shutting down their attempts at control. You’re taking back your identity, your peace, and your life.
You’ve got this. After all, it’s your story to write and yours alone. Don’t let anyone else hold the pen.