There’s a clear distinction between a genuinely nice guy and one who’s just pretending.

The difference lies in consistency. A truly nice person’s actions align with their words, even when no one’s watching.

But how can you tell if a man is genuinely nice or just putting on a show?

Well, there are certain signs that can reveal the truth about a man’s character. And savvy folks know that these signs never lie.

In this article, we’ll delve into the 8 strong indicators that a man is definitely not a nice person. So buckle up and get ready for some real talk.

1) Consistent inconsistency

In the realm of human relationships, consistency is king.

People who are genuinely nice maintain a steady pattern of kindness and respect, regardless of their circumstances.

However, if a man’s behavior fluctuates wildly based on his mood, the company he’s in, or his needs at the moment, that’s a red flag.

Welcome to the territory of consistent inconsistency.

Consistent inconsistency is a term that describes a person whose actions and words don’t align regularly. It’s like a roller coaster ride, where you never know what to expect next.

Consider this. If a man is kind one day and rude the next, it creates uncertainty and tension. True niceness doesn’t come with an on-off switch.

So if you’re trying to gauge a man’s character, pay close attention to his consistency. A pattern of fluctuating behavior can indicate that he might not be as nice as he appears.

Remember, it’s not about catching someone on a bad day; we all have those. It’s about observing an ongoing inconsistent pattern which screams ‘red flag’.

2) Blame shifting

Navigating the waters of relationships, I’ve encountered various personalities. One such encounter was with a man who seemed to have a knack for shifting blame.

Whenever things went wrong, he was always quick to point fingers at everyone else. For instance, when he forgot our dinner date, he blamed me for not reminding him. When he was late for a meeting, it was always the traffic’s fault.

This constant deflection of responsibility is a telltale sign that a man is not nice.

Genuine nice guys accept their mistakes and take responsibility for their actions. They don’t lay blame on others to absolve themselves.

So when a man consistently shifts blame instead of owning up to his actions, it might mean he’s not as nice as he projects himself to be. And trust me, I learned this the hard way!

3) Disrespecting boundaries

In a world populated by over seven billion people, it’s fascinating that we all have unique boundaries. These boundaries are invisible lines that define our comfort zones and personal spaces.

However, not everyone respects these boundaries.

A man who consistently oversteps or dismisses your boundaries may not be as nice as he seems. This could be anything from interrupting you while you’re speaking, to making decisions that affect you without your input.

Psychologists suggest that respecting boundaries is a fundamental aspect of healthy relationships. If a man frequently crosses the line, it shows a lack of respect for your autonomy and individuality.

So keep an eye out for any man who dismisses your boundaries. It could be an indication that he is not the nice person you thought he was.

4) Lack of empathy

Empathy is the ability to understand and share the feelings of others, and it’s a crucial element for any nice person.

If a man frequently shows no concern for your feelings, or seems oblivious to the emotions of others around him, it’s a strong indicator that he’s not genuinely nice.

A person who lacks empathy will often dismiss your feelings as unimportant, or may not even recognize them at all. This can leave you feeling unheard and invalidated.

Remember, a truly nice person will always try to understand your perspective and show compassion. If this is missing, it might be time to rethink your judgement about his ‘niceness’.

5) Frequent negative talk

Words hold immense power. They can heal, inspire, and comfort. But in the wrong hands, they can also wound and degrade.

If you often find a man speaking ill of others, especially when they’re not around to defend themselves, that’s a glaring sign he might not be a nice person. This negative talk is not just about gossip; it includes any form of conversation that tears others down to make himself look better.

A genuinely nice person uplifts others with their words, spreading positivity and good vibes. They understand that everyone has their struggles and choose to be supportive rather than judgmental.

So if you’re frequently on the receiving end of negative talk from a man, it’s a heartfelt plea to reconsider his ‘niceness’. Remember, the way he talks about others reflects his true character more than it does those he’s speaking about.

6) Disregard for your time

Time is one of the most precious commodities we have. Once spent, it can never be regained.

I once knew a man who had little regard for my time. He would often cancel plans last minute, or show up late with barely an apology. This disregard wasn’t only frustrating but also hurtful. It felt as though my time, and by extension, I, didn’t matter to him.

When a man consistently disregards your time, it’s a strong indication that he isn’t as nice as he may seem. A truly nice person understands the value of your time and respects it.

So if you find yourself constantly waiting or being stood up, it might be time to question his ‘niceness’. After all, respect for your time is respect for you.

7) Controlling behavior

Freedom is a fundamental human right. We all have the right to make choices that affect our lives.

However, if a man consistently tries to control what you do, how you do it, or who you do it with, that’s a major red flag. This controlling behavior is a sign that he doesn’t respect your autonomy and that he’s not as nice as he appears.

A genuinely nice person trusts you to make your own decisions. They support and respect your choices, even if they don’t necessarily agree with them.

So if you feel like a puppet in a man’s hands, it’s time to reconsider his ‘niceness’. Remember, a relationship should be about partnership, not dictatorship.

8) Lack of respect

At the heart of every interaction, every relationship, and every judgment of character, there lies one fundamental attribute – respect.

If a man consistently shows a lack of respect towards you or others, it’s the most significant indicator that he is not a nice person. This disrespect can manifest in various ways: belittling comments, dismissive behavior, or even ignoring your wishes and feelings.

A genuinely nice person treats everyone with respect, irrespective of their status, background, or beliefs. They understand that every individual is unique and deserves to be treated with dignity.

So remember, no matter how charming, funny, or kind a man may seem, if he lacks respect for you or others, he’s not as nice as he appears.

Final thoughts: It’s about self-respect

Peeling back the layers of human behavior, one might find that it often boils down to a reflection of self-perception.

A classic quote by Steve Maraboli encapsulates this concept, “How you love yourself is how you teach others to love you.”

When a man consistently exhibits the eight behaviors we’ve discussed, it’s a strong indication that he might not be a nice person. But more importantly, it’s a sign that he may not have the necessary respect for himself.

These behaviors likely stem from his own insecurities and self-esteem issues. And unfortunately, these issues often spill over into his interactions with others, affecting their perception of him.

So as you navigate the complexities of human relationships, remember this: ‘niceness’ isn’t just about how a man treats others, but also about how he treats himself.

Whether it’s respect, empathy, or consistency, the way a man treats himself sets the tone for how he’ll treat those around him.

So take some time to reflect on these indicators and what they mean for you. Remember, recognizing these signs early on can save you from potential heartache and disappointment down the line.