For a long time, I struggled with accepting myself. I focused on my flaws, compared myself to others, and felt like I was never enough.

But I’ve learned that self-acceptance isn’t about being perfect—it’s about embracing who you are, flaws and all. It’s about letting go of unrealistic expectations and finding peace with yourself.

The good news? There are simple strategies that can help. When you start shifting your mindset and practicing self-compassion, everything changes.

Here are eight strategies that have helped me (and can help you, too) accept yourself just as you are.

 

1) stop comparing yourself to others

It’s so easy to fall into the trap of comparison. We scroll through social media, see other people’s successes, and suddenly feel like we’re not good enough.

But here’s the thing—comparison is a losing game. There will always be someone who seems to have more, do more, or be more. And when you focus on them, you ignore what makes you unique.

Instead of measuring yourself against others, try shifting your focus inward. Celebrate your own progress, no matter how small. Recognize your strengths and the things that make you, you.

The moment you stop comparing and start embracing your own journey, self-acceptance becomes so much easier.

 

2) be kind to yourself

I used to be my own worst critic. Anytime I made a mistake, I’d beat myself up over it. I’d replay the situation in my head, telling myself I should have done better, should have known more, should have been perfect.

But then I realized something—I would never talk to a friend the way I talked to myself. If a friend made a mistake, I’d remind them that they’re only human. I’d tell them that messing up doesn’t define them.

So why couldn’t I do the same for myself?

Once I started practicing self-compassion, everything changed. Instead of tearing myself down, I learned to treat myself with kindness and understanding. And let me tell you—it made all the difference in accepting who I am.

So next time you catch yourself being overly critical, pause. Ask yourself, Would I say this to someone I love? If not, it’s time to change the way you speak to yourself.

 

3) embrace your imperfections

Perfectionism can make self-acceptance feel impossible. When you believe you have to be flawless, every mistake feels like proof that you’re not good enough. But the truth is, perfection isn’t just unrealistic—it’s unnatural.

In Japan, there’s a philosophy called wabi-sabi, which finds beauty in imperfection. Cracked pottery is repaired with gold, highlighting the flaws instead of hiding them. The idea is that imperfections tell a story, making something more unique and valuable.

The same applies to people. Your imperfections don’t make you less worthy—they make you, you. Instead of trying to erase them, embrace them as part of your journey.

 

4) challenge negative thoughts

The way you talk to yourself shapes how you see yourself. If your inner voice is constantly negative, it’s no surprise that self-acceptance feels out of reach.

The problem is, we often take our thoughts as facts when they’re really just opinions—ones that aren’t always true. Just because your mind tells you that you’re not good enough doesn’t mean it’s reality.

Next time you catch yourself thinking something negative about yourself, pause and question it. Is this thought based on facts or just self-doubt? Would I say this to a friend?

By challenging these thoughts instead of accepting them as truth, you can start to rewrite the way you see yourself.

 

5) forgive yourself

We all make mistakes. We all have moments we wish we could take back, things we regret, words we shouldn’t have said. But holding onto guilt and shame only keeps us stuck in the past, making it harder to accept ourselves in the present.

You are not defined by your worst moments. One mistake, or even many, does not make you unworthy of love and acceptance. Growth comes from learning, and learning comes from living—not from being perfect.

So give yourself permission to let go. Forgive yourself the way you would forgive someone you care about. You deserve that kindness, too.

 

6) stop seeking approval from others

For a long time, I based my self-worth on what other people thought of me. If they approved of me, I felt good. If they didn’t, I questioned everything about myself.

But living that way is exhausting. The truth is, no matter how hard you try, you’ll never please everyone. People’s opinions change, their expectations shift, and chasing their approval will only leave you feeling lost.

Real acceptance comes from within. When you stop looking for validation from others and start valuing your own opinion, you gain a kind of freedom that nothing else can give you.

 

7) focus on what you can control

So much of our stress comes from trying to control things that are completely out of our hands—other people’s opinions, the past, the future. But the more we try to control the uncontrollable, the more frustrated and powerless we feel.

What if, instead, you shifted your focus to what is within your control? You can control how you speak to yourself, how you respond to challenges, and how you choose to grow.

By letting go of what you can’t change and focusing on what you can, you create space for self-acceptance. You stop wasting energy on things beyond your reach and start building a life that feels more peaceful and authentic.

 

8) remind yourself that you are enough

You don’t need to be more, do more, or prove anything to anyone to be worthy of love and acceptance. You are enough exactly as you are, right now.

Some days, that might be hard to believe. But the way you see yourself isn’t always the truth—it’s just a story you’ve been told or a standard you’ve been taught to chase.

The real truth? You don’t have to earn your worth. You already have it.

 

bottom line: self-acceptance is a journey

The way you see yourself isn’t set in stone—it’s shaped by experiences, beliefs, and the way you talk to yourself over time. And just as those things can lead to self-doubt, they can also lead to self-acceptance.

Psychologists have found that practicing self-compassion can reduce anxiety and depression while increasing overall well-being. Dr. Kristin Neff, a leading researcher on self-compassion, emphasizes that treating yourself with kindness isn’t about ignoring your flaws—it’s about recognizing your humanity and allowing yourself to grow.

Some days will be easier than others. But every time you choose to be kind to yourself, challenge negative thoughts, or let go of unrealistic expectations, you take another step toward accepting yourself as you are.

And that’s what really matters.