8 signs of faking to watch for in relationships according to psychology

Isabella Chase by Isabella Chase | May 29, 2025, 5:54 am

Navigating the world of relationships can often feel like walking through a minefield blindfolded. It’s tricky, right? The uncertainty whether your partner is genuine or just faking it can be daunting.

Psychology, thankfully, offers us some clues to pick on. There are unmistakable signs that can help you identify if there’s any pretense involved.

In this article, I’ll share with you eight telltale signs of faking in relationships as per psychology. These insights aren’t meant to make you paranoid, but rather more aware and alert. So, let’s dive in and demystify the complex world of romantic relationships.

1) Inconsistent behavior

Inconsistency is often a dead giveaway when it comes to faking in relationships.

Psychology suggests that our behavioral patterns tend to be stable over time. So, if you notice sudden shifts in your partner’s actions, it might be a sign of pretense.

One day, they’re showering you with love and affection, and the next, they’re distant and aloof. This rollercoaster ride can be draining and confusing.

It’s important to understand that everyone has off days. But if these erratic behaviors become a regular pattern, it could signal that something’s not right.

Keep an eye out for these inconsistencies. They could be your first clue in detecting a facade.

2) Evading personal questions

Now, this is something I’ve personally encountered in one of my previous relationships.

You know how they say communication is key in any relationship? Well, there was a time when I was dating someone who would often dodge any personal questions.

Whenever I asked about her past, her dreams, or even her day, she would either give vague responses or change the topic altogether. This evasion of personal questions was a clear sign that she wasn’t being completely honest and open with me.

In psychology, this is seen as a defense mechanism to avoid vulnerability or hide something that they don’t want you to know. And in my case, it turned out to be a sign that she wasn’t genuinely invested in the relationship.

So, if your partner frequently avoids answering personal questions, it might be a red flag that they’re faking it.

3) Excessive charm

When it comes to relationships, a certain level of charm is indeed attractive. However, if someone is excessively charming all the time, it could be a warning sign.

Interestingly, psychologists associate this trait with what’s called the ‘Dark Triad’ – a group of three personality traits: narcissism, Machiavellianism, and psychopathy. People with these traits often use their charm as a mask to manipulate others.

In relationships, these individuals can come across as extremely charismatic and attentive initially. But this excessive charm is often used to hide their true intentions or feelings.

So, if your partner is laying on the charm a bit too thick and too consistently, you might want to take a closer look at their motivations.

4) They’re never at fault

We all make mistakes, right? It’s part of being human. But if your partner never admits to their faults or mistakes, it might be a sign of faking.

In a genuine relationship, both parties need to take responsibility for their actions and apologize when they’re wrong. But if your partner always shifts the blame onto others or circumstances, it’s a red flag.

Psychology suggests that this inability to admit fault is often linked to a fear of vulnerability or a desire to maintain a certain image. But remember, in a healthy relationship, it’s okay to be imperfect.

So, if your partner can’t own up to their mistakes, it might be a sign they’re not being genuine with you.

5) Lack of emotional intimacy

Let’s talk about emotional intimacy for a minute. It’s that deep connection and openness we share with our loved ones, where we feel safe expressing our feelings, fears, and aspirations.

Sadly, when someone is faking in a relationship, emotional intimacy often takes a back seat. They might be there physically, but emotionally, they seem distant or detached. This can leave you feeling lonely even when you’re together.

Psychology tells us that this emotional disconnect is a significant sign of a facade. It’s because genuine relationships thrive on mutual emotional investment.

So if your heart feels like it’s reaching out to an empty space despite their physical presence, it might be time to reassess if your partner is being authentic with you.

6) You feel like you’re walking on eggshells

I remember a time when I was in a relationship where I constantly felt like I was walking on eggshells. Every conversation felt like a potential landmine, and I was always careful with my words to avoid any conflict.

This is not a healthy sign, folks. In a genuine relationship, you should be able to express your thoughts and feelings freely without fear of triggering an explosion or receiving a cold shoulder.

According to psychology, this constant state of tension points towards a lack of authenticity in the relationship. It’s because when someone is faking, they can be highly reactive to any criticism or confrontation.

So, if you find yourself constantly tiptoeing around your partner, it may be an indication that they’re not being real with you.

7) They’re overly defensive

Defensiveness is an instinctive response when we feel attacked or misunderstood. But if your partner gets overly defensive over simple, non-threatening conversations, that can signal a problem.

Sometimes, this defensiveness can be a mask to hide their true feelings or actions. It’s a way to avoid deeper conversations or confrontations that might expose their fakeness.

Psychology confirms that excessive defensiveness can hinder open and honest communication, which is vital in any genuine relationship.

Therefore, if your partner often acts defensive even when there’s no need for it, they might not be as genuine as you think.

8) Your intuition tells you something’s off

Trust your gut. It’s the most important advice I can give you.

Our intuition often picks up on subtle cues that our conscious mind might miss. If you have a persistent feeling that something’s not quite right, don’t dismiss it.

Psychology backs this up, stating that our subconscious mind is incredibly perceptive and can detect inconsistencies and dishonesty.

So, if your gut feeling is telling you that your partner might be faking it, it’s worth taking a closer look. Trust yourself. Your intuition could be your most reliable ally in spotting a facade.

Wrapping it up: It’s about authenticity

When it comes to relationships, authenticity is key. It’s that genuine connection, openness, and vulnerability that make a relationship truly fulfilling.

Psychology tells us that people can sometimes wear masks, either to protect themselves or to manipulate others. And while these signs are cues to identify faking in a relationship, remember that we’re all complex beings with our own sets of challenges.

Every relationship has its ups and downs, but what matters most is the honesty and transparency we bring into it. Ultimately, it’s about understanding and accepting each other for who we truly are.

In the words of Brené Brown, “Authenticity is a collection of choices that we have to make every day. It’s about the choice to show up and be real. The choice to be honest. The choice to let our true selves be seen.”

So as you reflect on these signs, also reflect on your own authenticity in your relationship. Because at the end of the day, it’s not just about detecting fakes – it’s about striving for realness in our connections with others.