There’s a stark contrast between settling in a relationship and knowing when to walk away.

The distinction is all about standards. Settling in a relationship often means ignoring red flags, while knowing your deal breakers helps you recognize when something’s not right.

Deal breakers are non-negotiables in a relationship, the things you simply can’t ignore. And smart folks understand that identifying these deal breakers early on can save a lot of heartache.

In this article, I’ll share 8 deal breakers you should never overlook in relationships.

1) Lack of trust

Trust is the bedrock of any relationship.

Without it, you’re bound to hit rocky paths. And those on the receiving end know when they’re not being trusted.

Imagine being constantly questioned or second-guessed. It’s draining and can cause a lot of tension.

Trust, however, isn’t about blind faith. It’s about believing in your partner and their intentions based on their consistent behavior.

Remember, it’s one thing to have occasional doubts; it’s entirely different when mistrust becomes the default setting.

So if you find yourself in a relationship where trust does not exist or has been broken and not mended, it’s a clear deal breaker that you should never ignore. But remember, it works both ways – you need to be trustworthy as well.

Just like anything else in life, building trust takes time but losing it can happen in an instant. So tread carefully and ensure trust is at the foundation of your relationship.

2) Disrespectful behavior

Disrespect can be a subtle poison in a relationship, often going unnoticed until it’s too late.

I remember being in a relationship where I would often be belittled and made to feel inferior. My opinions were dismissed as trivial and my feelings were disregarded. It took me some time, but I finally realized that the way I was being treated was not okay.

Respect, in my opinion, is as crucial as love in any relationship. It’s about valuing the other person’s feelings, thoughts, and experiences. It involves acknowledging their individuality and treating them with kindness and understanding.

In my experience, a lack of respect is a clear deal breaker. If you constantly feel undervalued or unimportant, it’s time to reassess the relationship. Remember, everyone deserves to be treated with respect, including you.

3) Incompatibility in core values

Core values are like the compass that guide our lives. They shape our decisions, our behaviors, and ultimately, our relationships.

A study conducted by the Pew Research Center found that couples who share core beliefs and values tend to have happier and more successful relationships. It’s not about having the same hobbies or liking the same movies. It’s about agreeing on fundamental principles like honesty, kindness, or family.

If you’re with someone who doesn’t value what you hold dear or vice versa, it’s like trying to merge two puzzle pieces that simply don’t fit. You might manage to force them together, but the picture will never be quite right.

So, if you find a stark contrast in your core values with your partner, consider it a significant deal breaker. Because at the end of the day, these are the beliefs you’re least likely to compromise on.

4) Lack of communication

Communication is the lifeblood of any relationship. Without it, misunderstandings brew, resentment builds, and connection fades.

It’s not just about talking, though. It’s about understanding and being understood. It’s about active listening, exhibiting empathy, and being open and honest about your feelings.

If you’re in a relationship where meaningful conversations are rare or non-existent, where silence or passive-aggressiveness is the norm, you’re probably dealing with a significant deal breaker.

Remember, a healthy relationship thrives on open and honest communication. Without it, you’re likely to drift apart over time.

5) Emotional unavailability

There’s a unique kind of heartache that comes from loving someone who can’t or won’t open up emotionally.

Emotional availability is about being able to connect on a deeper level, to share your innermost thoughts and feelings, and to be there for each other in times of need. It’s about vulnerability and emotional intimacy.

But when one person is emotionally unavailable, the relationship often feels one-sided. You may feel alone even when you’re together, longing for a connection that seems just out of reach.

If you continually find your emotional needs unmet, it’s a serious deal breaker. Because at the heart of every lasting relationship is a deep emotional bond. Without it, the relationship can feel empty and unfulfilling.

6) Controlling behavior

Control is a slippery slope in relationships. It starts small – maybe they have strong opinions about what you should wear or who you should hang out with. Then, before you know it, you’re second-guessing every decision, feeling like you’re walking on eggshells.

I’ve been there. I’ve felt the suffocating grip of someone else trying to dictate my life. It eroded my self-esteem and left me questioning my own judgment.

Relationships should be about freedom and mutual respect, not control and domination. If your partner is trying to regulate your life, it’s a clear deal breaker. You deserve to be with someone who respects your autonomy and encourages your individuality.

7) Constant criticism

Constructive criticism can be beneficial in a relationship. It can help us grow and become better versions of ourselves. But when criticism becomes constant and destructive, it can do more harm than good.

If your partner is always finding fault with you, making you feel inadequate or worthless, it’s a clear deal breaker. Nobody deserves to be in a relationship where they’re made to feel constantly flawed or inferior.

Remember, a healthy relationship is about acceptance and understanding. It’s about embracing each other’s imperfections and celebrating each other’s strengths.

8) Abusive behavior

Abuse, whether physical, emotional or psychological, is the biggest deal breaker there is.

No one, under any circumstances, deserves to be in an abusive relationship. It’s not just about physical harm. Emotional and psychological abuse can be just as damaging and are often harder to recognize.

If you ever find yourself in a situation where you’re being abused in any way, get out. Reach out to trusted friends, family or professional organizations who can provide help and support.

Remember, you are worthy of love and respect. Don’t settle for anything less.

Final thoughts: The power of self-awareness

Navigating relationships is a profound journey of self-discovery and growth. It’s not just about finding the right person, but also about understanding ourselves better.

As renowned psychologist Carl Jung once said, “Everything that irritates us about others can lead us to an understanding of ourselves.” This insight can be particularly revealing when it comes to recognizing our relationship deal breakers.

If we look closely, our deal breakers often reflect our deepest values, our personal experiences, and even our insecurities.

So as you reflect on these eight deal breakers, remember that they are not just caution signs for potential partners, but also insights into your own psyche.

The awareness of what you can’t tolerate in a relationship is powerful. It’s a tool that can help you make better decisions and ultimately lead you towards healthier, more fulfilling relationships.

As you navigate your own relationship journey, remember this: knowing your deal breakers is not about setting unattainable standards. It’s about understanding what truly matters to you in a relationship and honoring those needs.