First impressions are everything, and it’s often the first words out of our mouth that set the tone.

A poorly chosen greeting can send the wrong message, making people uncomfortable or even annoyed. In fact, there are certain common greetings that can instantly turn people off when they first meet you.

In this article, I’ll share eight of these common greetings so you can avoid them and start your interactions on a positive note. It’s all about understanding your audience and choosing your words wisely.

So, get ready to rethink how you say “hello”.

1) “Hey, you look familiar”

Don’t we all love a bit of deja vu? But when it comes to first-time introductions, this line can be a real turn-off.

People generally like to feel unique and special. Telling someone they look familiar can imply that they remind you of someone else, which might unintentionally make them feel less unique.

Moreover, if they don’t recognize you, it can create an awkward situation where they’re scrambling to remember where they might have seen you before.

Instead, opt for a simple, straightforward greeting that doesn’t involve potentially confusing or uncomfortable implications. A simple “nice to meet you” goes a long way in making the right first impression.

Remember, it’s all about making the other person feel comfortable and at ease in your presence.

2) “Wow, you’ve changed!”

Let me share a personal story here. I ran into an old friend at a party after not seeing him for a few years. His first words to me were, “Wow, you’ve changed!”

While he probably meant it as a compliment, it made me feel self-conscious. I started wondering what was so different about me and whether the changes were good or bad in his eyes.

This greeting can come off as judgemental or even negative. It can make people feel uncomfortable, as they may start to question what has changed and if it’s perceived positively or negatively.

A better approach would be to greet the person warmly and then engage them in conversation about what they’ve been up to. This provides an opportunity for them to share the changes in their life on their own terms.

3) “You must be tired”

You might think this is a harmless observation, but it can actually have a negative impact on first impressions.

Telling someone they look tired can be perceived as saying they look rundown or unattractive. Research shows that people who are sleep-deprived are perceived as less attractive and less healthy. So, by telling someone they look tired, you could unintentionally be implying that they don’t look their best.

Instead of commenting on someone’s appearance, try asking about their day or their plans for the weekend. This opens up a conversation without making the other person feel self-conscious.

Related: The “boring” side hustle making millennials $5,000 extra per month—no special skills required

4) “What’s up, buddy?”

While this might sound friendly to some, it can be a turn-off for others.

Using overly casual language like “buddy”, “pal”, or “mate” when meeting someone for the first time can come off as insincere or even patronizing. It can give the impression that you’re trying too hard to establish a connection, which can feel off-putting to the other person.

Instead, stick to using the person’s name if you know it, or a simple “hello” if you don’t. It’s a safer bet and communicates respect and genuine interest in getting to know them.

5) “Long time no see”

There’s a certain kind of warmth and nostalgia attached to this phrase, but it can also carry a hint of guilt or blame.

When you say “long time no see” to someone you’re meeting for the first time, it can feel like you’re implying they should have made an effort to meet you sooner. This can create an unnecessary tension right at the start of your interaction.

Instead, express your enthusiasm at meeting them now. Something like, “I’m glad we finally get to meet” or “It’s great to meet you” can set a positive tone for your conversation. Remember, it’s not about dwelling on why you didn’t meet sooner, but about looking forward to the connection you can build now.

6) “You don’t look like a [insert profession here]”

This is a phrase I’ve heard more times than I care to count. As a writer who’s also passionate about weightlifting, I often get the “You don’t look like a writer” comment.

While it’s usually intended as a joke or a compliment, it can be quite off-putting. It implies that there’s a certain way people in specific professions should look, which is not only stereotyping but also dismissive of the individual’s unique qualities.

Instead of making assumptions based on appearance, show genuine interest in the person’s profession by asking them about their work or how they got into their field. This approach respects their individuality and opens up an opportunity for meaningful conversation.

7) “Nice to meet you, Sir/Ma’am”

While showing respect is important, formal salutations like “sir” or “ma’am” can sometimes create a distance between you and the person you’re meeting.

These terms can make the interaction feel stiff and overly formal, especially in more relaxed or casual settings. Some people might also feel aged by these terms, which is not exactly the best first impression to make.

Instead, consider using their name if you know it. If not, a simple “nice to meet you” works just fine. It’s respectful without being overly formal and helps create a more comfortable atmosphere for interaction.

8) “What do you do?”

While it might seem like a go-to ice breaker, this question can be more off-putting than you think. It can make the other person feel like they’re being evaluated based on their job or that their worth is tied to what they do for a living.

Instead, focus on who they are as individuals, not just their profession. Ask about their hobbies, interests, or recent experiences. This shows genuine interest in getting to know them as people and not just what they do.

The language of first impressions

When it comes to first impressions, every word counts. The words we choose to use in our initial greetings can have a profound impact on how we’re perceived by others.

As social creatures, we’re hardwired to make judgments based on first impressions. In fact, studies show that it takes just a fraction of a second for someone to form an opinion about you based on your appearance and the first words you speak.

So, the greetings we’ve discussed aren’t just off-putting phrases – they’re missed opportunities to create a positive impression and build a meaningful connection.

Remember, our words are powerful tools that can open doors or close them. It’s up to us to choose them wisely. As the old saying goes, “The tongue has no bones, but it is strong enough to break a heart. So be careful with your words.” The same applies when it comes to making a good first impression.

So next time you’re about to meet someone new, take a moment to consider your greeting. You never know – the right words might just be the key to unlocking a wonderful new relationship.