8 common greetings that immediately turn people off

First impressions matter, and the way we greet someone can set the tone for the entire conversation. But not all greetings are created equal.
Some come across as awkward, rude, or just plain off-putting—without us even realizing it. A bad greeting can make people uncomfortable, create distance, or even shut down a conversation before it starts.
If you want to start interactions on the right foot, it helps to know what *not* to say. Here are eight common greetings that immediately turn people off—and what to say instead.
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1) guess what?
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This might seem like a fun, playful way to start a conversation, but in reality, it can be pretty frustrating.
When you greet someone with *”Guess what?”*, you’re putting them on the spot. It creates unnecessary suspense and forces them to engage in a guessing game they never signed up for.
Most of the time, the other person will just say *”What?”* out of politeness, but inside, they might already be annoyed.
A better approach? Just get to the point. If you have exciting news, share it! If you want to start a conversation, a simple *”Hey, I have something cool to tell you!”* works much better.
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2) we need to talk
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Nothing makes my heart drop faster than hearing *”We need to talk.”*
I remember the first time a boss said this to me. My mind immediately started racing—*Did I mess something up? Am I in trouble?* I spent the next hour stressing over every possible mistake I could have made, only to find out he just wanted to discuss a minor schedule change.
The problem with this greeting is that it sounds *serious*—like bad news is coming. It instantly puts people on edge and makes them anxious before they even know what’s going on.
If you need to have an important conversation, try easing into it instead. Saying something like *”Hey, can we chat for a second?”* feels much more natural and won’t send the other person into panic mode.
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3) how’s it going?
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At first glance, *”How’s it going?”* seems like a perfectly fine greeting. But the problem is, most of the time, it doesn’t actually mean anything.
Studies have shown that when people hear common social phrases like this, they often respond automatically without even thinking. That’s why the usual reply is just *”Good, you?”*—it’s a reflex, not a real conversation.
If you actually want to connect with someone, try asking something more specific. Instead of *”How’s it going?”*, say *”What’s the best thing that happened to you today?”* or *”What are you most excited about this week?”* You’ll get a much more genuine response—and a better conversation.
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4) you look tired
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Even if you mean well, telling someone *”You look tired”* is never a great way to start a conversation.
Think about it—what’s the person supposed to say back? *”Thanks?”* Pointing out that someone looks exhausted, worn out, or unwell doesn’t make them feel good. Instead, it just makes them self-conscious and aware that others are noticing their rough day.
If you’re genuinely concerned about someone, a better approach is to ask, *”How are you feeling today?”* or *”Is everything okay?”* This way, you show care without making them feel worse about their appearance.
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5) smile!
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Telling someone to *”Smile!”* might seem harmless, even encouraging—but in reality, it often has the opposite effect.
No one likes being told how to feel. We all have tough days, moments of deep thought, or times when we’re just not in the mood to force a grin. When someone says *”Smile!”*, it can feel dismissive, as if your emotions don’t matter.
Instead of telling someone to change their expression, try offering kindness. A simple *”I hope your day gets better”* or *”It’s nice to see you”* acknowledges them without pressure. Sometimes, genuine warmth is all it takes to bring out a real smile.
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6) still single?
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Few things make a person feel more awkward than being greeted with *”Still single?”*—especially when it’s said with that teasing tone.
There was a time when every family gathering felt like an interrogation. The question always came up, and no matter how I answered, it never seemed right. If I joked about it, they’d offer unsolicited advice. If I brushed it off, they’d assume I was secretly upset. It was exhausting.
The truth is, people’s personal lives aren’t small talk. Whether someone is single, married, dating, or just figuring things out, they don’t need to justify it with a casual greeting. A simple *”How have you been?”* is enough—it shows you care without making their relationship status the focus of the conversation.
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7) wow, you’ve lost weight!
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At first, this might sound like a compliment, but comments about someone’s weight—whether they’ve lost or gained—can be more harmful than helpful.
You never know what someone is going through. Weight loss isn’t always intentional, and even if it is, tying a person’s worth to their appearance can create pressure or bring up painful emotions. What if their weight changed due to stress, illness, or grief? What if they don’t want it to be the focus of the conversation?
Instead of commenting on someone’s body, try something that lifts them up in a meaningful way. Saying *”You look great!”* or *”You seem really happy!”* keeps things positive without making assumptions.
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8) hey, remember me?
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There’s no worse way to start a conversation than putting someone on the spot and making them feel bad for not remembering you.
Maybe they do remember, but not right away. Maybe they meet a lot of people. Or maybe they genuinely forgot—but forcing them to admit it only makes things awkward. Instead of testing their memory, make it easy for them. Try *”Hey! It’s been a while—we met at [event or place]!”* This gives them context and keeps the conversation comfortable.
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bottom line: words shape connections
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The way we greet people might seem small, but it sets the foundation for how they feel around us.
Psychologists have long studied the power of first impressions, and research shows that even brief interactions can influence how someone perceives us in the long run. A warm, thoughtful greeting can create a sense of trust and connection, while an awkward or off-putting one can do the opposite—even if that was never the intent.
Every conversation starts somewhere. A little awareness of how we open them can make all the difference in how they unfold.