Dealing with a narcissist can be exhausting, especially when they feel backed into a corner.

When confronted, they rarely take responsibility. Instead, they twist words, deflect blame, and use carefully chosen phrases to regain control of the situation.

These phrases aren’t just random—they’re calculated moves designed to shift the focus, make you doubt yourself, or even make you feel guilty for holding them accountable.

If you’ve ever argued with a narcissist and walked away feeling confused or frustrated, chances are you’ve heard some of these lines before.

 

1) You’re too sensitive

 

One of the most common tactics a narcissist will use when backed into a corner is to dismiss your feelings entirely.

If you call them out on something hurtful they said or did, rather than acknowledge it, they’ll flip it back on you: “You’re too sensitive” or “You’re overreacting.”

This phrase is designed to make you doubt yourself. Instead of addressing the issue, they reframe the conversation so that the problem isn’t their behavior—it’s your reaction to it.

Over time, hearing this repeatedly can make you question your own emotions and instincts, which is exactly what they want.

 

2) I never said that

 

Narcissists are masters of gaslighting, and one of their favorite tricks is to completely deny something they said—even if you remember it clearly.

I once confronted a narcissistic ex about a promise they had broken. I reminded them, word for word, of what they had told me just days before. But instead of owning up to it, they just smirked and said, “I never said that.”

I was stunned. I knew exactly what I had heard, but the more they denied it, the more I started second-guessing myself. Maybe I had misheard? Maybe I was remembering wrong?

That’s the power of this phrase—it makes you question your own reality. And once a narcissist gets you to doubt yourself, they know they can get away with even more.

 

3) Why are you attacking me?

 

When a narcissist feels cornered, they often shift into victim mode. Instead of addressing the issue at hand, they turn it around and make it seem like they’re the one being wronged.

This is a classic deflection tactic. By accusing you of attacking them, they steer the conversation away from their own behavior and force you to defend yourself instead.

Interestingly, this kind of response plays into a psychological phenomenon known as the Karpman Drama Triangle, where people take on roles of victim, persecutor, or rescuer in conflicts. Narcissists love to play the victim because it allows them to avoid accountability while making you feel guilty for even bringing up the issue.

Before you know it, you’re apologizing—when you were the one with a valid concern in the first place.

 

4) You’re just jealous

 

When a narcissist feels threatened, one of their go-to defenses is to dismiss any criticism as jealousy.

Call them out on their bad behavior, and instead of addressing it, they’ll say something like, “You’re just jealous” or “You can’t stand to see me succeed.” This phrase allows them to completely sidestep the issue while making themselves look superior in the process.

It’s a way of shutting down the conversation without having to reflect on their actions. By framing you as envious, they paint themselves as the victim of your supposed bitterness—when in reality, you’re just holding them accountable.

 

5) No one else has a problem with me

 

A narcissist will often try to make you feel isolated in your concerns. If you confront them about something they’ve done, they’ll brush it off with, “No one else has a problem with me,” as if your feelings don’t count unless everyone shares them.

Hearing this can make you question yourself. You start wondering, *Am I overreacting? Am I the difficult one?* It’s a lonely feeling—like you’re the only person who sees the problem.

But just because others haven’t spoken up doesn’t mean they haven’t noticed. Many people stay silent to avoid conflict, or because they’ve been conditioned to accept the narcissist’s behavior. That doesn’t mean your feelings aren’t valid.

 

6) I guess I’m just a terrible person

 

When a narcissist realizes they can’t deflect or deny their behavior, they might resort to self-pity. Instead of taking responsibility, they’ll say something like, “I guess I’m just a terrible person” or “Nothing I do is ever good enough for you.”

At first, this might seem like an admission of guilt—but it’s not. It’s actually a way of shifting the focus onto their feelings instead of the issue at hand. Suddenly, you feel like *you’re* the one being too harsh, and you find yourself reassuring them instead of holding them accountable.

This tactic works because it plays on your empathy. But don’t be fooled—this isn’t real remorse. It’s just another way for them to avoid taking responsibility.

 

7) You’re the problem

 

When all else fails, a narcissist will put the blame entirely on you.

No matter what they’ve done, they’ll twist the situation to make it seem like *you’re* the difficult one. They’ll say things like, “You’re always looking for something to be mad about” or “You love to start drama.”

This is the ultimate manipulation tactic because it makes you question yourself. Instead of focusing on their actions, you start wondering if you really are the problem. And once they have you doubting yourself, they don’t have to change a thing.

 

bottom line: it’s about control

 

At the core of every narcissist’s behavior is a deep need for control.

These phrases aren’t just random responses—they’re deliberate tactics designed to manipulate, confuse, and shift blame. When a narcissist feels backed into a corner, their priority isn’t resolution or understanding. It’s maintaining power over the situation and, more importantly, over you.

Psychologists have long studied how narcissists use gaslighting and deflection to destabilize their targets. By making you question your own reality, they ensure that they always have the upper hand.

Recognizing these phrases for what they are is the first step in breaking free from their influence. Because once you see the pattern, you can choose not to play the game.