It’s hard to be an introvert in this world. Let’s face it – social currency is king everywhere, isn’t it? 

If you don’t pretend you’re an extrovert (or at least make an effort to be more social), chances are, your efforts would be overlooked, and you might feel sidelined. 

Not only that, if you’re confident enough to be your own introverted self in certain situations, you’d likely be labeled “a loner”, “antisocial”, or simply “unfriendly”. 

And that couldn’t be farther from the truth. I’m an introvert myself and I can tell you that I do enjoy socializing in my own way. 

It’s just that introverts have a different way of responding to the world. Because we have a limited social battery that gets easily drained from interactions, many everyday things that most people take for granted can feel tedious to us. 

Here are 7 of those things, according to psychology: 

1) Small talk

This isn’t really a secret, although we introverts will do our best to hide it. Small talk just drains the hell out of us. 

The first thing you should know about genuine introverts is that they like meaningfulness. 

Why? Because of their limited social battery. 

When you have only so much energy to devote to social interactions, you’d like for them to feel meaningful, right? You’d like to come away feeling like that was an encounter well worth your time. 

Unfortunately, small talk is mostly…not that. 

For genuine introverts, small talk feels fake and meaningless. Forced. Just something to fill up dead air. Instead of being the gateway to connection, it can feel like a barrier. 

As psychologist Dr. Laurie Helgoe puts it in her book “Introvert Power: Why Your Inner Life is Your Hidden Strength”:

“Introverts do not hate small talk because we dislike people. We hate small talk because we hate the barrier it creates between people.”

2) Networking

Their dislike of small talk may also be why networking is another everyday event that feels tedious for introverts.  

Imagine walking into a room full of strangers, with a mission to exchange pleasantries so you can connect with them. 

Extroverts lap this up like it’s water in a desert. But for introverts, this scenario can be overwhelming. Like I said earlier, they prefer deeper and more meaningful conversations. 

The problem is, networking events are typically filled with superficial chatter. A lot of hobnobbing until you find a common thread you can hold on to and call it a “connection”. 

Add to that the pressure of making a lasting impression, and it can be really overwhelming for introverts. 

It really isn’t anyone’s fault – not the people in the room, nor the introvert’s. It’s just the nature of networking that’s draining. Which brings me to the next point…

3) Overstimulation 

Social events can be tedious for introverts because they have a bigger tendency to feel overstimulated. 

It comes down to the way their brains are wired. Research shows that introverts’ brains have higher cortical arousal levels, meaning they’re more sensitive to what’s going on around them.

For introverts, environments filled with loud conversations, bright lights, and constant activity can feel like sensory overload. 

It takes a lot of energy to process all of these – even following a conversation can become doubly hard. And through all of that, they still have to look fun and friendly! 

So, after a while, social gatherings begin to feel more like a chore than a fun time.

4) Open office layouts  

Ah, this one’s a nightmare (or as Introvert, Dear puts it – hell on earth) for introverts who simply want to work in peace and not be disturbed by Chatty Cathys. 

Again, this is due to the overstimulation I discussed above. The constant hum, frequent interruptions, and lack of privacy in an open office can be overwhelming.

Introverts often find it difficult to concentrate with so much going on around them, and the need to constantly engage with colleagues can be exhausting.

If you want an introvert to give you their best at work, give them a private workspace or a quiet corner. 

That’s where they can thrive because they can focus and get into a state of flow. All their precious energy goes into their tasks instead of getting squandered away on the distractions around them. 

5) Being put on the spot

Have you ever found yourself suddenly the center of attention, with all eyes on you, and you were expected to give an immediate response? 

If you have and you felt so uncomfortable about it, you might just be a genuine introvert. 

I absolutely cringe at moments like this. As an introvert, I hate being put on the spot. I can’t just blurt out witty and clever comments at the drop of a hat! 

My best ideas come when I’ve had the time to mull them over. Unfortunately, it can create an impression that I’m not that smart, an assumption I’m sure many other introverts have been subjected to.

You see, we generally prefer to think things through before we speak. We’d like the luxury of time to reflect and formulate our thoughts. We’d rather avoid the pressure of having to respond quickly (and articulately at that!). 

It’s why we love writing. It’s why we prefer emails and messaging to phone calls. If you’ve got a genuine introvert in your life, I hope you allow them this mode of communication – I promise, you’ll get more out of them this way. 

6) Having to go along to get along

Another everyday thing that introverts find tedious is the pressure to conform. 

I remember in my first job as an office assistant, our company had a “lunch-together” policy every other day, I suppose, to build rapport among coworkers. 

And I did see where they were coming from. But the problem is, I’d love to use my lunch break as a way to recharge. 

And if I had to use that on further social interaction instead, well, can you imagine how drained I would be by the time the afternoon rolled around? 

This is just one example of how introverts often have to go along to get along, even if it goes against their nature. Many other situations and societal expectations force introverts to do this. 

Mindset coach and introvert advocate Vicky Regina says it so well:

“Growing up without the insight of being an introvert and understanding what that means meant growing up feeling like an outsider and ‘weird.’ (…) So, you live your entire life pretending to be something you’re not because of the conditioning that who you are is innately wrong.”

7) Constant connectivity and an overly busy schedule 

Finally, psychology shows that introverts need time to be alone so they can get their batteries back up to 100%. 

It’s why I have a designated “unplugged” time everyday, both online and from other people. On weeks when there are just too many busy days that I just can’t take a real breather and be alone with my thoughts, I get really cranky. 

Having to always be”on” is not just tedious, but downright exhausting for genuine introverts. Without regular breaks, we’d get burned out. 

In an ideal world, we’d have social events and interactions well-spaced out. This would give us the necessary downtime to recharge and return to social settings feeling refreshed and ready. 

Final thoughts

If the world really understood what introversion means, life would get a whole lot easier for introverts. 

Introversion is no gloomy diagnosis nor an anomaly of nature. It is simply a different way of being, where one’s energy comes from within instead of external sources. 

The more we all recognize and respect this difference, the better we can create environments that cater to both introverts and extroverts. That makes for a more inclusive and balanced world, don’t you think?