Gaslighting is a subtle form of manipulation that can be hard to spot, especially in the workplace.

This psychological tactic involves making someone question their own reality. It’s sneaky, it’s damaging, and it’s more common than you think.

As a worker, you need to know the signs. Understanding gaslighting can help you maintain your confidence and sanity on the job.

In the next few paragraphs, I’ll outline 9 easy-to-miss signs of gaslighting at work, according to psychology. Keep reading to arm yourself against this workplace hazard.

1) You’re constantly second-guessing yourself

It’s not unusual to question yourself occasionally. But, if you find yourself constantly doubting your decisions or memory, you might be getting gaslighted.

Gaslighters excel in making you question your reality, according to research. They might deny things that happened, distort the truth, or make you feel like you’re overreacting.

This is a classic gaslighting tactic. It’s meant to make you doubt your sanity and judgement, thereby making you more reliant on the gaslighter for your version of reality.

2) Your confidence is taking a hit

Ever heard of this form of manipulation that is “negging”?

Negging is a manipulative tactic in which an individual delivers a subtle insult or a joke at your expense to undermine your confidence and foster a sense of dependency on their approval.

It’s a form of gaslighting—an attempt to control and diminish your self-esteem.

The best way to respond is to not get dragged down to their level by insulting them back. It’s tough, but don’t engage in pointless arguments or let them off the hook with something like, “It’s fine.”

 Make it clear that this behavior is unacceptable and try to keep a professional distance with them. 

3) The goalposts keep moving

In a typical workplace, you have set objectives and goals. You know what’s expected of you and how success is measured. But with gaslighting, the rules might change without warning.

One moment, your boss might praise you for your initiative. The next, they criticize you for not following procedure closely enough.

This ever-shifting expectation can leave you feeling perpetually off-balance and unable to meet the demands of your role.

Interestingly, this tactic is often used in cults to control members. By constantly changing the rules, leaders keep followers in a state of confusion and dependency.

The same principle applies in a gaslighting situation at work: it’s all about maintaining control and keeping you off guard.

4) You’re always the one apologizing

Ever notice that it always seems to be your fault? Even when you’re sure you didn’t do anything wrong, you end up apologizing. That’s another classic sign of workplace gaslighting.

Gaslighters are great at shifting blame. They’ll twist facts, exaggerate situations and use emotional manipulation to make you feel guilty.

If you find yourself always saying “I’m sorry” at work, especially for things that aren’t your responsibility, it might be time to reevaluate your situation.

A healthy workplace promotes accountability, not unnecessary guilt and blame.

5) You feel isolated from your colleagues

Gaslighters often isolate their victims to maintain control, according to health experts. They might spread rumors about you, paint you in a negative light, or make you feel like your colleagues are against you.

Suddenly, you might find yourself excluded from meetings or social events. You may sense a shift in how your coworkers interact with you.  

Feeling isolated at work is not just about being left out of the lunchtime chat. It can be a calculated move to make you feel vulnerable and alone. And the funny thing is-you think it’s all your fault.  

6) You’re emotionally exhausted

Emotional exhaustion is a deep-seated feeling of being emotionally drained, overwhelmed, and unable to cope. And it can be a major sign of gaslighting.

Being on the receiving end of gaslighting is incredibly stressful. The constant self-doubt, the shifting goalposts, the isolation – it all takes a toll on your emotional well-being.

If you ever find yourself grappling with such challenges, consider the advice from Harvard Business Review: Aim to externalize your boss’s manipulative behaviors. Separate their words and conduct from your own self-worth.

Redirect your attention towards reinforcing your inherent value by acknowledging that any dysfunction lies with your boss, not within yourself.

7) You feel like you’re walking on eggshells

I recall a time when going to work felt like stepping into a minefield. I was constantly on edge, unsure of what would set off my boss or lead to another round of criticism.

Every email I sent, every task I completed, was done with an undercurrent of anxiety. I was always waiting for the other shoe to drop. The workplace became a source of constant stress and fear.

If you find yourself feeling this way at work, constantly anxious about making mistakes or triggering negative reactions, you could be experiencing gaslighting.

This isn’t a sign of being overly sensitive or weak. It’s a reaction to a toxic environment, and it’s important to recognize and address it.

8) Your accomplishments are downplayed

Recognition and appreciation play a crucial role in job satisfaction. But in a gaslighting scenario, your accomplishments might be overlooked or downplayed.

You might find that your ideas are dismissed, only to be presented later as the gaslighter’s own. Or you might notice that your achievements are minimized, while your mistakes are magnified.

This strategy is aimed at keeping you in a state of insecurity and dependence. If your contributions at work are constantly undervalued, it could be a sign of gaslighting.

Remember, everyone deserves recognition for their hard work and success.

9) Your instincts tell you something’s off

Above all, trust your gut. If something feels off in your workplace, it probably is. You might not be able to put your finger on it, but a sense of unease or discomfort is often the first sign of gaslighting.

Your instincts are powerful. They’re your internal alarm system, alerting you to potential danger. Don’t ignore them.

Gaslighting is insidious and can be hard to identify. But your feelings of discomfort are valid and important. If you feel like you’re being gaslighted, reach out for help. Trust yourself. You know more than you think you do.

Final thoughts: You are not alone

Gaslighting, in all its forms, is an insidious form of manipulation. It’s silent, it’s damaging, and more often than not, it’s hard to spot.

But remember, you’re not alone in this. Countless people have experienced gaslighting in the workplace and have come out stronger on the other side.

The first step is recognizing the signs. Understanding what gaslighting looks like can be your shield against psychological manipulation.

And if you suspect you’re being gaslighted at work, reach out. There are professionals who can help you navigate this challenging situation.