For years, I thought I had a good understanding of what made a great friendship.

Surely, it was about having a laugh, sharing interests, and supporting each other, right?

Yet when I entered my 40s years ago, I realized that my definition of friendship was somewhat off the mark. I found myself feeling more isolated and less understood than ever. Even though I was surrounded by friends.

That’s when I stumbled upon some fascinating psychological research on friendship. Specifically, the 7 types of friends who can significantly improve your quality of life as you age.

It was an eye-opening revelation. Suddenly, everything clicked into place. My friendships started to take on a new meaning, and my life began to change for the better.

In this article, I’m going to share these insights with you. Hopefully, they’ll make as much of a difference in your life as they have in mine.

Let’s dive in.

1) The Cheerleader

These are the friends who are always there for you, cheering you on from the sidelines. They’re the ones who believe in you, even when you don’t believe in yourself.

They’re not just there for the good times either. When life throws a curveball and you’re struggling to cope, these are the friends who will pick you up, dust you off, and remind you of your strength.

Having a cheerleader in your corner can make all the difference. They boost your confidence, lift your spirits and encourage you to keep going when times get tough.

I found that the more cheerleaders I had in my life, the happier and more fulfilled I felt. They’ve truly been a major factor in improving my life.

If you’re lucky enough to have a cheerleader in your life, cherish them. And if you don’t have one yet, then be that friend for someone else. You never know how much of a difference it can make.

2) The Wise Mentor

This is the friend who has been there, done that, and has a t-shirt to prove it. They’ve weathered storms and come out stronger. They’ve learned from their experiences, and they’re willing to share their wisdom with you.

I remember when I was going through a particularly difficult time in my life, it was my mentor friend who guided me through. He listened to my worries, gave me advice when I asked for it, and reassured me that I was stronger than I thought.

He helped me understand that while we can’t change our past, we can choose how we react to it and what we learn from it.

Having a Wise Mentor in your life can provide you with guidance and wisdom that is hard to find elsewhere. If you’re fortunate enough to have such a friend, listen to them. Their perspective can help guide you through life’s ups and downs.

3) The Brutally Honest Friend

Let’s talk about ‘The Brutally Honest Friend’. This friend might not always tell you what you want to hear, but they’ll always tell you what you need to hear.

I have a friend like this. His name is Mark. Mark doesn’t sugarcoat things, and while it can be tough to hear his blunt honesty sometimes, I appreciate it.

I recall a time when I was considering a career move that was quite risky. I was excited, but also anxious. When I shared my plans with Mark, he didn’t mince words. He pointed out the potential pitfalls and questioned whether I’d considered all my options.

At first, I felt defensive, even a bit hurt. But after digesting his words, I realized he was right. His honesty had forced me to reassess my plans and ultimately make a more informed decision.

The Brutally Honest Friend is an invaluable asset in your life. They’re there to provide reality checks and to challenge you when you’re being unreasonable or impulsive. It’s essential to have someone in your life who isn’t afraid to speak the truth, even when it’s hard.

4) The Listener

Many years back, I was going through a tough breakup. My friend Emma was there for me. She didn’t try to offer solutions or advice unless I asked for it, she simply listened.

Her willingness to just be there and hear me out made me feel validated and less alone. I could unload my thoughts and emotions without fear of judgment.

And the benefits of having such a friend aren’t just anecdotal. A study published in the Journal of Experimental Social Psychology found that feeling understood, or “validated”, can help individuals cope with stress and boost their mood.

In other words, having a friend who genuinely listens can have a significant positive impact on your mental health.

So, if you have a Listener in your life, hold on to them. Their ability to lend an ear can be a lifeline when you’re going through tough times.

5) The Optimist

Moving on, we have ‘The Optimist’. This is the friend who always looks on the bright side and finds the silver lining in every cloud.

I have a friend like this, her name is Lisa. No matter what life throws at her, she always manages to stay positive. She has this infectious energy that can light up a room.

I remember when I was stressing over a missed deadline at work, Lisa simply smiled and said, “Well, now you have extra time to make it even better.”

Her optimism and positive perspective helped me reframe my stress into something more manageable. It’s amazing how a change in perspective can make a world of difference.

The Optimist is the friend who inspires you to keep a positive mindset. They remind you that there’s always hope, and that even the darkest clouds have a silver lining. Having an Optimist in your life can make your journey through life much brighter.

6) The Empath

This type of friend has an incredible ability to understand and share the feelings of others.

My friend Sarah is an Empath. She has this uncanny ability to know exactly how I’m feeling, often before I even do.

I remember a time when I was dealing with a family crisis. I felt lost and overwhelmed. Sarah was there for me, not just in a physical sense but emotionally too. She felt my pain with me, and that shared experience made me feel less alone.

As the famous psychologist Carl Rogers once said, “When someone really hears you without passing judgment on you, without trying to take responsibility for you, without trying to mold you, it feels damn good.”

And that’s exactly what an Empath does. They hear you, they feel with you, and they stand by your side without judgment or expectation.

Having an Empath in your life can bring a deep sense of understanding and connection that is truly unique and invaluable.

7) The Challenger

Finally, we come to ‘The Challenger’. This might seem counterintuitive, but having a friend who challenges you can be incredibly beneficial.

My friend Alex is a Challenger. He’s not afraid to question my decisions, push my boundaries, and provoke me to think outside the box.

At first, I found this challenging. It’s not always comfortable to be questioned or pushed. But over time, I’ve come to appreciate the value Alex brings to my life.

He encourages me to think deeper, strive harder, and grow as a person. He doesn’t let me settle for mediocrity.

It’s important to remember that challengers aren’t there to belittle you or make you feel inadequate – they’re there to spur you on.

As a practical step: next time your challenger friend pushes you or questions your decision, take a deep breath and listen. Try to see it from their perspective and use it as an opportunity to grow.

Even if it’s uncomfortable, remember that growth often comes from discomfort. Having a Challenger in your life can help you become the best version of yourself.

Conclusion

Growing older is an inevitable part of life, but who we choose to surround ourselves with as we age can make a significant difference.

But remember, friendship is a two-way street. Be sure to reciprocate the support and qualities these friends give you.

My advice? Take a moment to reflect on your current friendships. Do they fit into these categories? If not, perhaps it might be time to broaden your circle and seek out these invaluable types of friends.

And finally, always be open to new friendships. You never know when you’ll meet your next Cheerleader, Wise Mentor, or Brutally Honest Friend.