Self-compassion is not always our strong suit. In fact, it can be quite a blind spot. We often find ourselves acting in ways that suggest we have nearly zero self-compassion, without even realizing it.

This isn’t about self-pity or self-indulgence. It’s about acknowledging our own struggles and treating ourselves with the same kindness we’d show to a good friend.

It’s surprising how we can sometimes be our own worst critics, doing things that hinder our growth and well-being.

So, let’s take a step back and examine the seven unnoticed habits that indicate a lack of self-compassion. It’s time to start treating ourselves a little better, don’t you think?

1) You’re constantly self-criticizing

We all have an inner critic. But if you find that yours is always on duty, relentlessly pointing out every little mistake or flaw, that’s a pretty clear sign of lacking self-compassion.

This isn’t about ignoring your faults or avoiding accountability. It’s about understanding that everyone makes mistakes and that it’s okay to not be perfect.

Instead of berating yourself for every misstep, try to see them as learning opportunities. Yes, the goal isn’t perfection, but growth. And you can’t grow if you’re constantly beating yourself up.

It’s time to give your inner critic a break and start treating yourself with the kindness and understanding you deserve. After all, we’re all human and we’re all in this together.

2) You’re a master of self-neglect

I remember a time when I was working round-the-clock on a project. I skipped meals, ignored my aching body, and traded sleep for more work hours. I thought I was just being dedicated. But in reality, I was neglecting my basic needs.

This is a classic sign of lacking self-compassion. We often put everything and everyone else before ourselves, forgetting that we too need care and attention.

Whether it’s skipping meals, ignoring our health, or not taking time for relaxation and hobbies — all these actions point towards self-neglect. And honestly, it’s a trap I fell into more times than I’d like to admit.

It took me some time to realize that taking care of myself is not selfish. It’s essential. Only when we are well-rested and healthy can we give our best to the things and people we care about.

The lesson here? Don’t neglect yourself in the process of living. You matter, too.

3) You struggle with receiving kindness

We often think of compassion as something we give to others. But did you know that our ability to receive compassion from others is directly linked to our ability to be self-compassionate?

It’s true.

According to research, people who struggle with self-compassion often find it hard to accept acts of kindness from others. They may feel uncomfortable or unworthy, brushing off compliments and downplaying their achievements.

If you find yourself deflecting praise or feeling awkward when someone shows you kindness, it might be because you’re not used to treating yourself with compassion.

Remember, it’s okay to accept kindness from others. In fact, it’s a vital part of building self-compassion. Start by simply saying “thank you” when someone compliments you. It’s a small step, but it can make a big difference in how you view yourself.

4) You’re always comparing yourself to others

In our highly connected world, it’s easy to fall into the trap of comparing ourselves to others. We see the high points of other people’s lives on social media and start to feel inadequate.

If you constantly find yourself measuring your worth against others, it’s a sign that you’re lacking self-compassion. You’re forgetting that everyone has their own unique journey, complete with ups and downs. Those perfect lives you see online? They’re just a highlight reel.

Instead of comparing, try to focus on your own progress. Celebrate your achievements, no matter how small they may seem. And remember, it’s okay to be a work in progress.

We all are. Self-compassion means recognizing and appreciating your worth, regardless of how you stack up against others.

5) You don’t allow yourself to feel

For the longest time, I considered myself a “strong” person. I prided myself on my ability to keep emotions in check, not realizing that bottling up feelings wasn’t strength, but a lack of self-compassion.

If you constantly suppress your feelings, telling yourself that you shouldn’t be upset, angry, or sad, you’re not being kind to yourself. Feelings are a part of the human experience. They’re not something to be ashamed of or pushed away.

It’s okay to feel. It’s okay to not have it all together all the time. It’s okay to be human. Admitting this to myself was a game-changer. It allowed me to start being more compassionate towards myself, and in turn, allowed me to process my emotions in a healthier way.

If you’re like how I used to be, start by acknowledging your feelings. Let yourself feel without judgement. It’s not a sign of weakness, but rather a step towards self-compassion and emotional well-being.

6) You have a hard time saying no

Do you often find yourself stretched too thin because you’ve agreed to too many commitments? This is a common sign of a lack of self-compassion.

Saying yes to everything is not about being helpful or kind; it’s often about seeking approval and fearing rejection. In the process, you end up neglecting your own needs and boundaries.

Learning to say no is an essential part of self-compassion. It’s about respecting your own time, energy, and limits. It’s also about understanding that you can’t be everything to everyone.

While it may feel uncomfortable at first, saying no when necessary is a powerful way to show compassion towards yourself. Remember, setting boundaries isn’t selfish – it’s self-care.

7) You don’t practice self-care

The ultimate sign of a lack of self-compassion is not practicing self-care. If you’re always putting yourself last, it’s time for a change.

Self-care isn’t just about spa days or indulgent treats – although those can be part of it. It’s about taking time to nourish your body, mind, and spirit in whatever ways work best for you.

Whether it’s exercise, meditation, a hobby you love, or simply taking time to relax and unwind, make self-care a non-negotiable part of your routine.

You are worthy of care and kindness, especially from yourself. Remember that giving yourself the compassion you deserve isn’t a luxury – it’s a necessity.

Embracing the journey of self-compassion

Embarking on the journey of self-compassion is not always easy. It requires introspection, acceptance, and a willingness to challenge long-standing habits and beliefs about ourselves.

It’s important to understand that self-compassion is more than just a feel-good concept. It’s backed by science. Research has shown that practicing self-compassion can reduce stress, anxiety, and depression while boosting happiness and overall life satisfaction.

And while we’ve discussed seven signs of a lack of self-compassion, it’s crucial to remember that the journey is unique for each of us. Your path towards self-compassion might look different than someone else’s, and that’s okay.

The key is to start where you are, with what you have. With each step you take towards being kinder to yourself, you’re making progress.

So take a moment today to reflect on how you treat yourself. Are you your own worst critic? Or are you a supportive friend? The answer might be more important than you think.

After all, the relationship you have with yourself sets the tone for all other relationships in your life. And it all begins with compassion – for yourself.