Navigating relationships can be tricky. Some people come into our lives for a season, while others are meant to stick around for the long haul.

But how do you tell the difference?

Well, as a psychologist, I’ve noticed certain subtle signs that indicate someone may not be in your life for the long term.

I’m going to share these with you, so you can make more informed decisions about who to invest your time and emotional energy in.

Without further ado, here are the seven subtle signs someone isn’t meant to be in your life long-term.

1) They never seem to have time for you

It’s a somewhat sad reality of life – we make time for the people and things that matter most to us.

If you’re constantly finding that someone in your life is too busy to spend time with you, it might be a sign that they aren’t meant to be in your life long-term.

Actions speak louder than words. If someone consistently shows through their actions that they don’t have time for you, it could be a clear indication that they don’t value the relationship as much as you do.

This doesn’t mean you should immediately cut ties. It’s always worth having a conversation about it first. But if things don’t improve, it may be time to reconsider their place in your life.

2) They often make you feel drained

We all have those people in our lives who, after spending time with them, leave us feeling emotionally drained. I remember a friend I had during my college years.

Every time we hung out, I found myself feeling exhausted, anxious, and somewhat depressed. It was like all my energy was sucked away.

In my case, I eventually realized that this friend wasn’t meant to be in my life long-term. The constant negativity and emotional drain were signs that our relationship wasn’t healthy.

Remember, relationships should enrich your life, not deplete it. If someone consistently leaves you feeling drained, it might be a sign they’re not meant for your long-term life journey.

3) The relationship feels one-sided

Have you ever been in a relationship where it feels like you’re doing all the giving and the other person is doing all the taking?

Let me be honest: I have. In my early twenties, I had a friend who was always ready to share their problems, but whenever I needed a listening ear, they were nowhere to be found.

As renowned psychologist Dr. Phil McGraw once said, “It’s better to be healthy alone than sick with someone else.”

A balanced relationship involves give and take. It’s normal for the balance to shift occasionally, but when it’s consistently one-sided, it may be a sign that the person isn’t meant to be in your life long-term.

In my case, I had to make the difficult decision to distance myself. It was hard, but ultimately, it was the best decision for my mental and emotional health.

4) They don’t respect your boundaries

Boundaries are crucial for maintaining healthy relationships. They help us communicate our needs and expectations to others.

But what happens when the person you’re dealing with continually disrespects or dismisses your boundaries?

A study found that people who do not respect personal boundaries are more likely to cause emotional harm.

This disrespect can manifest in various ways, such as dismissing your feelings, invading your personal space, or belittling your opinions.

In my experience, someone who consistently disregards your boundaries is showing a lack of respect for you and your well-being. And this, unfortunately, could be a sign that they aren’t meant to be in your life long-term.

Recognizing and acknowledging this can be challenging, but it’s an essential step towards maintaining healthy relationships.

5) They’re dismissive of your feelings

Your feelings are valid. They’re a part of who you are and they deserve to be heard and respected.

I recall a time when I shared a personal struggle with someone close to me, only to have them brush it aside as if it was insignificant. It hurt.

As the renowned psychologist Dr. Brené Brown says:

“Empathy has no script. There is no right way or wrong way to do it. It’s simply listening, holding space, withholding judgment, emotionally connecting, and communicating that incredibly healing message of ‘You’re not alone.'”

If someone in your life continually dismisses your feelings or makes you feel like you’re overreacting, it could be a sign that they’re not meant to be in your life long-term.

Remember, a key to maintaining healthy and long-lasting relationships is mutual respect and understanding. And that includes respecting each other’s feelings.

6) They always agree with you

Wait, isn’t agreement a good thing?

Well, yes and no. While it’s great to have someone who supports your ideas and decisions, it’s also vital to have someone who can challenge you and push you to grow.

As the famous psychologist Carl R. Rogers said, “The only person who is educated is the one who has learned how to learn and change.”

Growth often comes from being challenged, from considering different perspectives.

If someone always agrees with everything you say or do, they may not be serving your best interests in the long run.

Constructive disagreement can be a sign of a healthy relationship, where both parties are free to express their thoughts and feelings even if they diverge.

While it may seem counterintuitive, someone who always agrees with you could potentially not be meant for your long-term life journey.

7) You can’t be yourself around them

Take a moment. Can you truly be yourself around this person?

As the esteemed psychologist Abraham Maslow said, “What is necessary to change a person is to change his awareness of himself.”

If you feel the need to change or hide aspects of yourself when you’re around someone, it’s a strong sign they may not be meant for your long-term life journey.

Remember, being able to be your authentic self is crucial in any long-lasting relationship.

Final thoughts

Sorting through the complexities of our relationships isn’t always a straightforward task.

It involves a deep understanding of ourselves, our values, and the subtle signs that hint at the long-term viability of these relationships.

As you reflect on the relationships in your life, remember the seven subtle signs we’ve discussed. Keep in mind that it’s okay to let go of relationships that no longer serve your best interests.

Relationships, much like life itself, are a journey. Sometimes, people join us for only a portion of that journey, and that’s okay.

The key is to surround ourselves with individuals who respect us, challenge us, and allow us to be our authentic selves. After all, life is too short to spend with those who aren’t meant to be in it long-term.

Take some time to reflect on this and be honest with yourself. You owe it to yourself to ensure your relationships are enriching your life, not depleting it.