Navigating the maze of human relationships can be tricky. Sometimes, surface kindness can mask a lack of loyalty lurking beneath.

You see, there’s a world of difference between kindness and loyalty. While kindness is about being nice to people in their presence, loyalty is about standing by them, even when they’re not around.

Sometimes, a man might seem genuinely kind on the surface, but hidden beneath that charming exterior could be signs of very little loyalty. It’s important to watch out for these signs to avoid getting hurt down the line.

In this article, I’ll share 7 signs that may indicate that a man has very little loyalty, even if he seems kind on the surface. These signs are subtle but crucial. By picking up on them early, you can save yourself from potential heartache and disappointment.

1) He’s vague about his past

Loyalty is all about transparency and trust. It’s about opening up, sharing your past, your flaws, your triumphs, and your failures.

However, if a man is often vague or elusive about his past, it might be a red flag. It could indicate that he has something to hide. This isn’t about digging into every single detail of his past, but rather about him being open and honest.

It’s natural to be a bit reserved when you first meet someone, but if this vagueness continues over time, it might be a sign of very little loyalty. You see, loyalty isn’t just about standing by someone’s side—it’s also about letting them in on who you truly are.

So take note: if he’s constantly changing the subject or giving vague answers when his past is brought up, it might be time to reconsider. This could be a sign that he’s not as loyal as he seems on the surface.

2) He’s inconsistent with his words and actions

Consistency is a major indicator of loyalty. When a man’s words align with his actions, it’s a sign that he values honesty and integrity. But when they don’t, it’s a red flag.

I remember dating a guy named Alex. He was charming and seemed really kind, always saying the right things at the right time. He would promise to call me every night, assure me that he was committed to our relationship, and make plans for our future together.

But here’s the thing: his actions never matched his words. He rarely called when he said he would, often cancelled plans at the last minute, and generally behaved like someone who wasn’t invested in our relationship.

This inconsistency between his words and actions was a clear sign that Alex had very little loyalty, despite appearing kind on the surface. It taught me a valuable lesson: always look beyond surface kindness and pay attention to whether someone’s words align with their actions.

3) He avoids making long-term plans

Planning for the future is an integral part of any committed and loyal relationship. It shows that a person is thinking about you in their life down the line and is willing to invest time and energy in building a future together.

However, if a man consistently avoids making any long-term plans, it can be a sign of very little loyalty. This could be anything from planning vacations together, discussing future career moves, or even just making plans for the next weekend.

Interestingly, according to a study published in the Journal of Social and Personal Relationships, those who avoid discussing or planning for the future are more likely to have commitment issues. This avoidance can often mask deeper insecurities about loyalty and commitment.

Keep an eye out: if he’s always dodging conversations about the future or making vague, non-committal responses when you bring it up, it could be an indication that his loyalty isn’t as strong as it may seem on the surface.

4) He’s secretive about his friends and social life

We all value our privacy, but in a relationship, there should be a certain level of openness, especially when it comes to friends and social life. A man who is loyal will be excited to introduce you to his friends and include you in his social activities.

However, if he’s always vague about who he’s hanging out with, or if he seems to keep his social life separate from you, it could be a sign of very little loyalty.

It may seem like he’s trying to keep different parts of his life separate, which isn’t a great sign for long-term commitment.

Loyalty is about integrating you into all aspects of his life – not just some. A man who is truly loyal will want you to know and feel comfortable with the people who are important to him. If he’s not doing this, it might be time to question his loyalty.

5) He doesn’t stand up for you

One of the most beautiful aspects of loyalty is having someone in your corner, someone who will stand up for you when you’re not around. It’s about knowing that no matter what, they’ve got your back.

I remember a time when I was at a social gathering with my then-boyfriend, Mark. There was a heated discussion going on, and someone made a comment that was unfairly critical of me.

I looked at Mark, expecting him to come to my defense. But he didn’t. He just shrugged and changed the topic.

That moment was a wake-up call for me. Despite his kind demeanor, Mark’s failure to stand up for me when it counted was a clear sign of his lack of loyalty.

If a man truly values and respects you, he won’t hesitate to defend you when needed. If he doesn’t, it may be an indication that his loyalty isn’t as strong as it appears on the surface.

6) He’s not there for you in times of need

Life is full of ups and downs. And in those challenging moments, you need to know that the person you’re with is going to be there for you.

If a man disappears or becomes distant when you’re going through a tough time, it’s a clear sign of very little loyalty. A loyal partner will be there to support you, comfort you, and help you through your struggles.

Whether it’s a personal crisis, a health issue, or even just a particularly stressful week at work, having someone by your side can make a world of difference.

But if he’s nowhere to be found when you’re in need, despite being kind and charming in good times, it might be time to question his loyalty.

7) He breaks promises frequently

Promises are the very fabric of trust and loyalty. When a man makes a promise, it’s a commitment that he intends to keep. But when he breaks them frequently, it erodes the trust in the relationship and signals a lack of loyalty.

No matter how small or insignificant these broken promises may seem, they add up over time and create a pattern. This pattern can reveal a man’s true character and his level of loyalty towards you.

Remember, a man who is truly loyal will value his word and make every effort to keep his promises. If he doesn’t, it’s not only a sign of disrespect but also an indication of very little loyalty.

Final thoughts: Loyalty is a choice

Understanding the nuances of human behavior is a complex journey. It often requires us to look beyond the surface and delve deeper into a person’s actions and patterns.

When it comes to loyalty, remember that it’s more than just a character trait. It’s a choice, a commitment, and a reflection of a person’s integrity.

In his book The Speed of Trust, Stephen M.R. Covey said, “Trust is the glue of life. It’s the most essential ingredient in effective communication. It’s the foundational principle that holds all relationships.”

These signs we’ve discussed are not definitive proof of lack of loyalty, but they are indicators that can guide us in our relationships. They can help us identify potential issues early on and navigate our relationships more effectively.

At the end of the day, trust your intuition. If something feels off, it probably is. And remember, everyone deserves a partner who is as loyal to them as they are kind.

Keep these signs in mind as you navigate your relationships, and remember that loyalty isn’t just about being kind on the surface—it’s about standing by someone, even when it’s not convenient or easy.