8 double standards you should never put up with in life, according to psychology

Mia Zhang by Mia Zhang | December 21, 2024, 10:46 pm

If you’ve ever felt like you’re being held to a different set of rules than those around you, you’re not alone.

Double standards are a common occurrence in life and can leave you feeling confused and frustrated.

You might find yourself constantly trying to meet expectations that seem unfair or inconsistent.

Perhaps you’re treated differently based on your gender, age, or simply because of who you are.

Dealing with double standards isn’t a personal failing—it’s a societal issue.

But remember, everyone experiences these situations differently and navigating through them can be challenging.

Psychology has a lot to say about these double standards. Understanding them could be the first step in refusing to accept them in your life.

1) “You’re overreacting”

Have you ever felt dismissed when expressing your feelings, only to be told that you’re overreacting?

This is a classic example of a double standard and is commonly used to belittle your emotions.

“I’m just being honest” or “You’re just too sensitive” are often phrases used to justify this behavior.

It’s as if your feelings are less valid or important than others, which can leave you feeling confused and frustrated.

This isn’t about you being overly emotional—it’s a manipulation tactic.

Psychology suggests that it’s often used as a means to control and gaslight, making you doubt your own feelings and experiences.

Being told you’re overreacting when you express discomfort or upset is a clear double standard that you should never tolerate in life.

It’s not about being too sensitive, it’s about being treated with respect and understanding.

2) Being labeled as ‘ambitious’ or ‘bossy’

Here’s a scenario. You’re at work, taking charge of a project, and leading your team towards success.

You’re praised for your leadership, referred to as ‘ambitious’.

But when your colleague, who happens to be of a different gender, does the same thing, they’re labeled as ‘bossy’.

On the surface, it might seem like just another workplace incident. But delve a bit deeper and you’ll find this is a classic example of a double standard.

Surely, taking initiative and showing leadership should be seen as positive traits regardless of who is displaying them.

‘Ambitious’ and ‘bossy’ are just words, but the underlying implications can have an impact on one’s self-esteem and career progression.

According to psychology, these kinds of labels can subtly shape our perceptions of others and ourselves, leading to self-doubt or even self-censorship.

3) Emotional expectations based on gender

Let’s talk about emotions. You know, those complex responses of an individual’s state of mind.

Society often has a set of unwritten rules about who should express what emotions and when.

For example, it’s generally more acceptable for women to cry in public, while men are often expected to hide their tears.

Similarly, displays of anger are often more tolerated from men than women.

These are clear double standards that can be damaging and confusing.

Everyone has the right to express their emotions without being judged or labeled.

Interestingly, research found no significant difference in the emotional range between genders, the primary differences lie in expression rather than experience.

All humans experience a full spectrum of emotions, and it’s healthy to express them.

Breaking away from these outdated emotional stereotypes allows us all to be more authentic and emotionally healthy individuals.

It’s time we allow everyone the freedom to express their emotions without judgment.

4) Judging based on appearances

Picture this: you walk into a room.

Before you’ve even said a word, people have made assumptions about you, your life, your character, based purely on how you look.

It’s a scenario all too familiar for many of us. You might be judged for your weight, your clothes, even the color of your hair.

It’s not fair, and it’s certainly not right. We are all so much more than what meets the eye.

Each one of us carries a unique blend of experiences, dreams, and talents that can’t be summed up by our appearance.

In truth, our value as individuals has nothing to do with how we look. It’s about who we are on the inside – our kindness, our strength, our dedication.

5) Household chores division

Imagine this: you come home from a long day of work, just like your partner.

You both are tired, but somehow, the bulk of the household chores seems to fall on you.

This might seem like a small issue, but it’s a common double standard many of us face.

Even in households where both partners work, studies have shown that one partner often ends up doing more housework.

Chores should be shared equally, considering both partners’ work schedules and capacities. After all, a home is a shared responsibility.

6) Social media portrayals

Imagine scrolling through your social media feed and seeing a friend’s post from a recent vacation.

They’re pictured at a beautiful, exotic location, smiling from ear to ear. It’s hard not to feel a pang of envy at their seemingly perfect life.

But here’s the reality – that photo is just a moment, a snapshot.

It doesn’t show the stress of travel planning, the jet lag, or any of the other less glamorous aspects of their trip.

The same applies to our own online portrayals. I remember posting photos from my own vacation, making it appear flawless.

But what wasn’t captured was the time I lost my luggage or the day I spent sick in bed.

This social media double standard can create pressure to portray an idealized version of our lives.

7) Success and failure attributions

Here’s a truth bomb: sometimes you win, and sometimes you learn.

But have you noticed how people tend to attribute their successes to their own abilities and hard work, yet blame their failures on external factors?

It’s a double standard we all fall into at times. When things go well, we’re quick to take credit. But when they don’t, it’s suddenly out of our hands.

This mindset might protect our egos, but it hinders personal growth.

It’s time to own up to our mistakes just as proudly as we own our victories.

Because it’s the errors, the missteps, and the blunders that truly make us stronger.

8) Respect and courtesy

At the end of the day, it all comes down to one fundamental principle: respect.

We all deserve to be treated with kindness, courtesy, and fairness, regardless of our age, gender, appearance, or status.

Yet, often in life, we see a double standard where some individuals are given more respect than others based on superficial or arbitrary factors.

This is not only unfair but also goes against the basic principles of human decency and equality.

Respect is not a privilege for the few. It is a right for all. And it should never be compromised under any circumstances.

Final thoughts

In life, it’s crucial to stand up for what truly matters to you—and that includes refusing to tolerate double standards.

This article aimed to shed light on the common double standards that many of us face.

But at the end of the day, it’s your personal journey. Your feelings, experiences, and standpoints are unique, and it’s up to you to navigate through them.

To live a fulfilling life means understanding your worth and not letting others’ double standards affect your self-esteem or dictate your actions.