There’s a stark difference between friends who lift you up and those who bring you down.

Navigating friendships can be tricky, especially when it involves dealing with negativity. The harsh reality is, some friends, consciously or unconsciously, have the knack for putting us down.

Dealing with such friends can be challenging, but guess what? There are ways to handle this without being overwhelmed or losing your cool.

Let me share with you nine ideas that can help you move on from such friendships. These are not mere tips but strategies that have worked for me and many others.

So, buckle up as we explore together in the article, “Do you have friends that put you down? 9 ideas to help you move on”.

1) Recognize the signs

Before you can effectively deal with friends who put you down, you need to be able to identify the behavior.

Unfortunately, it’s not always as straightforward as outright insults or mean comments. Sometimes, it can be subtle, wrapped in humor, or even presented as concern.

It’s the friend who constantly belittles your achievements, or the one who always seems to find a flaw in your happiness. It might be that pal who never misses a chance to point out your mistakes, no matter how minor they are.

Recognizing these signs is the first step in handling such friendships. It allows you to understand what you’re dealing with and paves the way for the next steps.

Remember, everyone has off days and moments of negativity, but when it becomes a pattern, it’s time to take note.

It’s not about being overly sensitive; it’s about acknowledging that constant negativity from a friend is not healthy or beneficial for you.

2) Establish boundaries

One of the most significant ways I’ve learned to handle friends who put me down is by setting clear boundaries.

There was a friend in my life who always had something negative to say about my career choices. Whenever I shared my aspirations or achievements, she would subtly belittle them or suggest that they weren’t ‘realistic’.

I soon realized that these conversations were affecting my self-esteem, and I decided to do something about it.

I began by limiting the topics we discussed, especially those revolving around my career. Whenever she tried to steer the conversation that way, I would gently but firmly change the subject.

Setting these boundaries helped protect my mental and emotional health. It wasn’t easy at first, but with time, it became a natural part of our interactions.

Remember, establishing boundaries is not about cutting people off. It’s about ensuring your interactions are healthy and respectful. And trust me, it gets easier with practice.

3) Practice assertiveness

Assertiveness is a communication style that involves expressing your feelings and needs in an open, direct, and respectful manner. It’s not about being aggressive or confrontational; it’s about being clear and firm about your expectations.

Interestingly, studies have shown that individuals who practice assertiveness are less likely to experience negative psychological symptoms such as anxiety, depression, and stress.

When confronted with friends who put you down, being assertive could involve standing up for yourself or calling out their negative behavior. It’s about letting them know how their words or actions affect you and what you expect moving forward.

Remember, it’s your right to express your feelings and needs. Practicing assertiveness can help preserve your self-esteem in the face of negativity. It’s a skill that takes time to develop, but it’s definitely worth it.

4) Seek support from other friends

Handling friends who put you down can be tough and emotionally draining. That’s why it’s crucial not to isolate yourself during such times.

Reach out to your other friends, the ones who lift you up and respect you. Share your experiences with them, if you feel comfortable doing so. They can provide a listening ear, offer advice, or simply remind you of your worth when you’re feeling low.

Remember, it’s not a sign of weakness to seek help or support. We all need a solid support system, especially when dealing with difficult situations or people.

Take solace in the friendships that make you feel good about yourself and lean on them when things get tough. You’d be surprised how much strength you can draw from positive relationships.

5) Consider professional help

Sometimes, dealing with friends who put you down can be overwhelming, especially if you’re dealing with other stressors or if the friend in question is someone you’ve known for a long time.

In such cases, it might be beneficial to seek professional help. Therapists and counselors are trained to help you navigate difficult relationships and can provide you with tools and strategies to cope.

They can help you gain perspective, build your self-esteem, and learn how to assert yourself effectively. Don’t hesitate to seek their guidance when you feel it’s needed.

Remember, seeking professional help is not a sign of weakness or failure. It’s a proactive step towards maintaining your mental and emotional wellbeing.

6) Cultivate self-love

You are worthy of respect, kindness, and love – never forget that. Having friends who put you down can chip away at your self-esteem, but only if you let it.

Cultivating self-love is about recognizing your worth and treating yourself with kindness, even when others don’t. It’s about acknowledging your strengths and embracing your imperfections.

When you love yourself, negative comments from others lose their power. You understand that their words reflect more about them than they do about you.

Remember, you are enough just as you are. Don’t let anyone make you feel otherwise. Love yourself fiercely and unapologetically. It’s the most profound act of self-care you can practice.

7) Reflect on the friendship

During my journey, I’ve had to take a step back and reflect on certain friendships. It’s not an easy thing to do, but it’s crucial.

Ask yourself, does this friendship bring more pain than joy? Is it constantly draining you emotionally? Are your interactions filled with more negativity than positivity?

In my case, I realized that one of my long-standing friendships was more toxic than beneficial. The constant put-downs, subtle jabs, and overall negativity were taking a toll on me. It was a difficult realization, but an important one.

Reflection allows you to evaluate the friendship objectively and decide whether it’s worth keeping or not. It might be hard, but it’s necessary for your mental and emotional well-being.

8) Communicate your feelings

Communication is key in any relationship. If a friend’s negative comments are affecting you, it’s important to let them know.

Express how their words or actions make you feel without attacking or blaming them. Use “I” statements to avoid sounding accusatory. For example, instead of saying “You always put me down,” try saying “I feel hurt when you belittle my achievements.”

This approach opens up a channel for honest conversation and gives your friend an opportunity to change their behavior.

Remember, they may not even realize how their words are affecting you. By communicating your feelings, you’re giving them a chance to make amends and improve the friendship.

9) Know when to let go

Not all friendships are meant to last forever, and that’s okay. If you’ve tried everything and the situation hasn’t changed, it might be time to let go of the friendship.

Ending a friendship doesn’t mean you’ve failed. It means you value your peace and well-being more than sticking to a relationship that brings you down.

Remember, you deserve friends who respect, value, and uplift you. Don’t be afraid to create space for such friendships by letting go of the ones that no longer serve you positively.

Final thoughts: You are not alone

Navigating friendships, especially those that constantly put you down, can be a challenging journey. But remember, you’re not alone in this.

Many of us have had to deal with such friendships at some point in our lives. The feelings of hurt, confusion, and sometimes even guilt, are universal.

The iconic American poet, Maya Angelou once said, “Never make someone a priority when all you are to them is an option.” This quote resonates deeply when dealing with friends who put you down.

Your feelings and well-being matter. You deserve the kind of friendships that uplift you, respect your boundaries, and treat you with kindness.

As you move forward from here, carry these ideas with you. Use them as stepping stones on your journey towards healthier friendships. It may not be an easy journey, but it is certainly one worth taking for your peace and happiness.

The power to shape your social atmosphere lies within you. And remember, it’s okay to put your well-being first.