I remember sitting on my yoga mat one morning, feeling oddly restless. Everything around me was the same as the day before—my favorite incense, my cozy corner by the window, the gentle hum of traffic outside.

Yet something inside me kept whispering, “Nothing’s changing.” I kept replaying the same limiting thoughts, doubting my decisions, and fearing what might happen if I took a different path.

Maybe you’ve had this feeling, too. You look around and realize the scenery hasn’t shifted for a while, or you catch yourself recycling the same worries and excuses.

These thought patterns can sneak in quietly and keep you in the same place year after year. Today, I want to highlight seven common ways we get stuck so you can recognize them and move toward growth.

1. Believing small changes won’t make a difference

I used to think giant leaps were the only way to achieve meaningful transformation. I’d feel stuck because I assumed that unless I had the time, energy, or resources to take a massive step, there was no point in trying at all.

According to a research, incremental steps can actually be more sustainable for long-term growth. In other words, showing up consistently, even in small ways, compounds over time.

It might not feel dramatic at first, but it’s precisely this slow and steady approach that builds momentum.

If you believe small changes won’t help, you risk never starting. You also miss out on the subtle shifts that can lead to meaningful progress.

It’s like planting a tiny seed and expecting a fully grown tree overnight. Growth rarely looks that way.

It can be as simple as waking up ten minutes earlier to stretch or choosing to talk openly with your partner about one unresolved issue each week. Over time, these little efforts stack up.

2. Convincing yourself that you’re too busy to prioritize well-being

Sometimes we stay stuck because we tell ourselves there’s no room for anything extra. We’re too busy to meditate, too busy to cook healthy meals, and too busy to reflect on our emotional patterns.

I recall reading from Mindful.org that mindfulness isn’t about finding spare hours in the day. It’s about weaving small moments of awareness into what you’re already doing.

Taking a slow breath before answering an email can be a mini mindfulness practice. Noticing the flavors of your lunch instead of scarfing it down at your desk is another.

If you keep telling yourself there’s no time, that narrative becomes reality. Before you know it, months or years pass, and your well-being remains on the back burner.

Overcoming this pattern starts with recognizing that caring for yourself is non-negotiable. You don’t need to overhaul your entire schedule; you just need to find small pockets to nurture yourself.

3. Equating your identity with your past mistakes

Everyone has moments they wish they could do over. But when you cling to regret and see your mistakes as proof that you’re unworthy of growth, you stay locked in place.

I’ve had my fair share of regrets, especially earlier in my marriage when I’d let minor arguments balloon into bigger drama than necessary. For the longest time, I believed those mistakes defined me as someone who wasn’t patient or mature enough.

That mindset made me avoid working on myself because I thought I’d always “mess things up.”

As Dr. Gabor Maté once noted, our deeper wounds often lead us to see ourselves in a distorted light. We turn occasional shortcomings into fixed identities. But a mistake is a snapshot in time, not the entire film of your life.

When you allow your past errors to shape your future identity, you trap yourself in a cycle of self-doubt. Recognize the lesson without turning it into a lifelong label.

4. Assuming external factors are the only reason for your stagnation

I sometimes notice a persistent pattern: blaming everything outside ourselves—our family, the economy, the weather, or the bus driver who made us late.

That was me a few years ago, grumbling that the city I lived in didn’t have enough job opportunities or that the culture around me didn’t support my minimalist values.

Then I stumbled on an article in the Harvard Business Review highlighting the importance of internal locus of control. Basically, people who believe they can influence their circumstances tend to adapt and thrive more than those who feel powerless.

Blaming external factors only delays growth because it puts you in a passive role. You become reactive, waiting for the environment to shape your life.

Taking personal responsibility might feel scary at first, but it also feels liberating once you realize how much power you have to create change.

5. Waiting for the “right moment” to take action

There’s a common trap many of us fall into: believing we should wait for a magical moment when everything lines up perfectly.

We hold off on asking for a promotion until work is “less busy.” We delay going to couples therapy until we’re “less stressed.” We wait to switch careers until we have “more certainty.”

The truth is, there rarely comes a day when everything is perfectly aligned. Life keeps rolling, whether we act or not. And if we keep waiting, we might discover that a year or five have slipped by without any real movement.

A study I read showed that people who adopt a flexible approach to decision-making—accepting that conditions are never flawless—tend to adapt and grow more effectively. They also report fewer regrets.

I’ve learned that taking imperfect action is better than no action at all. For instance, I started teaching a small yoga class at a local community center before I felt ready.

My heart pounded the first time I guided people through a flow, but stepping into that uncertainty taught me valuable lessons I wouldn’t have learned otherwise.

6. Embracing a victim mindset

We all go through hardships, but if you start to see yourself as permanently disadvantaged, it can keep you anchored to the same place.

I’ve had conversations with people who believe they’re fated to be unhappy because of their upbringing or because they never learned how to manage conflict in relationships.

According to studies, individuals who feel they have agency in their relationships tend to experience higher satisfaction and growth, regardless of their upbringing or past traumas.

That doesn’t mean we dismiss the reality of trauma or personal challenges.
It means we acknowledge them, seek help or therapy when needed, and refuse to let those challenges become our only story.

Adopting the role of the victim can sometimes feel comforting—after all, if the problem is out of our hands, we don’t have to take responsibility. But it also robs us of the chance to direct our own narrative.

7. Conflating your beliefs with absolute truths

When we treat our opinions or personal stories as universal truths, we build mental fences around our growth. It’s hard to expand when you believe there’s only one “right” way to see the world.

I used to cling to certain beliefs about marriage, especially the idea that couples must have children to fulfill a traditional path.

Choosing not to have kids felt like I was deviating from some universal script. It took time and self-reflection to understand that my choice is valid, and so is anyone else’s.

Mark Manson once wrote that personal responsibility involves questioning your own assumptions, not just everyone else’s.

If you can open yourself to new perspectives—through books, conversations, or cultural practices—you find there’s often more nuance to life than you initially believed.

This openness creates room to question old thought patterns. It keeps you from settling into a mental bubble where your current viewpoint is all there is.

Before we finish, there’s one more thing I need to address: a quick way to recognize these patterns as they appear. I’ve found it useful to pause whenever I catch a self-defeating thought and ask myself a few clarifying questions:

• Where did this belief come from?

• Is this thought based on fear or fact?

• If I gave myself permission to choose a new perspective, what would it be?

These simple prompts can interrupt the loop and offer a moment of reflection.

Final thoughts

Feeling stuck can happen to anyone. I’ve felt it in my career, in my marriage, and even in my morning yoga routines when I’m too rigid to try a new pose. But change often starts by identifying the subtle thoughts that keep you circling the same ground.

Look at each of these seven patterns and see if any resonate. Then consider what small shifts you can make. You don’t need to wait for the perfect timing, and you don’t need anyone else’s permission to start.

You deserve a life that feels vibrant and true to you. And each new perspective you adopt can be a stepping stone toward that life.