I often meet people who seem to be drifting through their days without much zest or purpose.

You know the type: they show up, handle their obligations, pay their bills, and fall into bed—only to wake up and do it all again the next day. It’s as if they’re stuck on a never-ending treadmill.

When I was younger, I also went through a stage where I felt like I was just existing. Somewhere between juggling work responsibilities and raising a family, I lost that spark of excitement that gives life color.

If you’ve ever felt a nagging sense that you’re missing out—like you’re merely making it through each day without truly experiencing it—this post is for you. Whether it’s you or someone you know, here are seven subtle signs that a person might be surviving rather than truly living.

1. They function on autopilot

Have you ever found yourself driving home only to realize you don’t remember most of the route? That’s autopilot in action, and while it’s common in everyday tasks, living your entire life that way is a red flag.

People stuck in autopilot mode go through their routines—get up, go to work, come home, watch TV, sleep—without really taking stock of what they’re doing or why they’re doing it.

Sometimes I catch myself doing this when I walk my dog, Lottie. If I’m lost in thought, I can circle the park without registering the laughter of my grandchildren playing on the swings or the crisp snap of a breeze in the trees.

Those small moments are rich with life, yet autopilot blinds me to them.

If you sense each day blends into the next without any true awareness, that’s a subtle sign you’re in survival mode.

The key here is mindfulness—pausing to notice the details of your day, whether it’s the smell of coffee in the morning or the warmth of sunshine on your face. It’s in these small, mindful moments that we often rediscover the fullness of life.

2. They lose track of personal passions and interests

Remember the last time you were so absorbed in a hobby you forgot to check your phone?

If you can’t recall that moment, you might be drifting into the territory of merely surviving. When someone is simply getting by, they often lose touch with the activities or pursuits that used to light them up inside.

I know this happened to me when I first retired from my office job. At first, I was excited—I had all this free time. Yet within a few months, I found myself picking up old habits of filling my schedule with mindless tasks.

It wasn’t until I rediscovered my passion for reading classic nonfiction (I’ve mentioned this before in a previous post) that I started feeling alive again.

This doesn’t mean you need to pick up some grand new project, like painting a masterpiece or writing a novel (though you certainly could). It’s about reconnecting with interests that once brought you joy—maybe it’s playing guitar, tinkering in the garage, or cooking a new recipe.

Passions feed our spirits, and without them, we’re just going through the motions.

3. They rarely look forward to anything

If I ask someone what they’re looking forward to and the response is a blank stare or a half-hearted shrug, that’s a sign they might be stuck in survival mode.

We all have responsibilities, but if there’s absolutely no anticipation or excitement for what’s coming—be it a family gathering, a new course to learn, or even a simple weekend activity—it suggests a deeper disconnect from life’s pleasures.

In my younger years, I remember living for the weekends. Not because I disliked my job, but because Saturdays meant early morning fishing trips with friends, and Sundays involved long family dinners.

Today, it’s a walk in the park with my grandchildren or exploring a new historical biography that gets me energized. As I see it, looking forward to something is a small but powerful way to keep that spark of life alive.

If someone never seems excited about the future, it might be time to set small goals or plan little treats—like scheduling a coffee date with a friend or trying out an online cooking class. Even modest pockets of anticipation can infuse life with renewed energy.

4. They routinely ignore their emotional well-being

Surviving, in my view, is often about ignoring certain truths we don’t want to face—especially when it comes to emotional health. People in this mode might say, “I’m fine, just busy,” or “I’ll deal with it later,” and then never address stress, anxiety, or deeper feelings of dissatisfaction.

Based on a study, continually brushing aside your emotions can lead to chronic stress and an overall numbness to life.

I remember a period when I was so focused on day-to-day demands, I never admitted I was overwhelmed. It wasn’t until a friend asked if I was doing okay—I mean really okay—that I realized I’d been stuffing down feelings of anxiety and frustration for weeks.

The moment I began acknowledging my emotions was the moment I felt more alive, more in control, and less like a machine on overdrive.

So, if you’re consistently saying you’re “fine” without examining what fine really means, consider taking a step back. Journaling, therapy, or even confiding in a close friend can help reignite that sense of truly living.

5. They settle for “okay” instead of aiming for growth

“I’m alright where I am,” or “Things are fine as they are.” Now, there’s nothing wrong with contentment—but settling for a life that’s just “fine” can be a subtle way of giving up on your own potential.

When growth stagnates, it’s like a plant that’s been left in the same pot for too long. It survives, but it doesn’t thrive.

Growth isn’t necessarily about chasing promotions or accolades. It’s about feeling a sense of progress in any aspect of life—maybe it’s becoming a more patient parent, learning a new skill, or taking on a volunteer project in your community.

Viktor Frankl wrote about finding meaning in even the smallest tasks and interactions in his classic “Man’s Search for Meaning.” To me, that meaning is the difference between surviving and truly living.

If the status quo feels like a security blanket you can’t let go of, consider what a small step forward would look like. You don’t have to overhaul your life overnight.

Start with tiny changes—read one book on a topic you’re curious about, sign up for a workshop, or explore a new walking route in your neighborhood. Each little spark of curiosity can lead to broader horizons.

6. They keep interactions surface-level

One big sign that someone is simply getting by is a reluctance to open up to others. They keep conversations polite and casual—weather talk, current events, maybe a little sports banter—and never dive beneath the surface to explore how they’re really feeling or what they’re genuinely thinking.

I’m no know-it-all, but in my experience, genuine connections are the antidote to a merely surviving mindset. Relationships—be they with friends, family, or even your local barista—thrive on shared vulnerabilities and authentic communication.

When I share a worry or a hope with a friend, I’m reminded that life is a tapestry of both pains and joys, and I’m an active participant in it.

If you find that your chats rarely go beyond “I’m busy, how about you?” it may be time to open up a bit more. Ask thoughtful questions: “What’s been on your mind lately?” or “Anything new you’re excited about?”

You’ll be amazed how quickly a conversation can shift from small talk to something that lights a spark.

7. They feel vaguely unfulfilled, but can’t pinpoint why

Finally, there’s that elusive sense of “something’s missing.” Someone who’s just surviving might feel restless or mildly unhappy, yet they can’t quite figure out the source.

They might try to fill that void with shopping, binge-watching TV, or scrolling endlessly on social media—but the emptiness persists.

I went through a phase like this in my forties. I was juggling work, family responsibilities, and the usual daily chores. From the outside, everything seemed fine, but I was just going through the motions.

It took sitting down with a journal—and being brutally honest with myself—to uncover that I’d stopped challenging myself creatively and intellectually.

The cure? You guessed it: start exploring. Spend time thinking about your values, what you truly want out of life, and whether your current path aligns with those desires.

Change doesn’t happen overnight, but acknowledging that empty feeling is the first step toward finding your way back to a fuller life.

Closing thoughts

As someone who’s seen a fair share of life’s twists and turns, I believe it’s never too late to pivot from merely surviving to genuinely living.

Maybe you recognize some of these signs in yourself or someone you love. The good news is that awareness itself is powerful—it lights the path toward change.

Ask yourself: what’s one small thing I can do this week to shift from autopilot to active engagement?

It might be as simple as paying attention during your morning walk, scheduling a catch-up with an old friend, or revisiting a favorite pastime. The point is to break out of the loop of routine and rediscover the spark that makes life so worth living.

We all deserve more than a daily grind. Life might be busy and responsibilities can weigh heavy, but that doesn’t mean we have to settle for a half-lived existence. After all, our days on this earth are finite—why not seize every opportunity to truly experience them?

So, what’s your next step?