Recognizing selfishness can be tougher than you’d think, especially when it’s hidden behind smooth talk.

Selfish people often have a way of steering the conversation to suit their needs, not realizing the subtle signs they’re giving off.

In reality, their words are like breadcrumbs leading straight to their ego-centric mindset.

Now, let me share with you the 10 things deeply selfish people often say in conversation without even realizing it. This way, you can spot the self-centered individuals in your life and steer clear.

1) “I, Me, My”

Selfish people often have a habit of turning the conversation back to themselves.

This isn’t always obvious. It’s not that they’re always talking about their achievements or showing off. It’s subtler than that.

Notice how often they use words like “I”, “me”, and “my”. Do they ask about your day, or are they more interested in telling you about theirs? Do they show genuine interest in your thoughts and feelings, or are they quickly steering the conversation back to their own experiences?

These are clear signs of a deeply ingrained selfishness. The person might not even realize it, but their conversation is all about them.

It’s a subtle way of asserting their importance and dominance in the conversation, often at the expense of others’ feelings and thoughts. 

2) “You should have…”

One thing I’ve noticed is how often selfish people use phrases like “you should have”. It’s their way of imposing their views or decisions on others.

I remember a friend who would always say things like “you should have taken my advice” or “you should have done it this way”. It was a subtle way of saying that their way of doing things was superior.

I realized that this was more about them needing to feel right, rather than genuinely wanting to help. It was as if my decisions were less about what was best for me, and more about validating their wisdom or superiority. In the end, it felt less like advice and more like a demand for compliance.

This kind of language can be a sign of deep-rooted selfishness. So listen carefully if someone frequently uses phrases like “you should have”, it might just reveal their true colors.

3) “That’s not how it happened…”

When it comes to selfish people, they often have a unique version of events. A version that usually places them in a better light or shifts blame away from them.

Selfish individuals have a tendency to rewrite history in their favor. It’s a psychological phenomenon known as “self-serving bias”. This is when someone perceives and presents situations in ways that benefit themselves, even if it’s at the expense of the truth.

If you notice someone consistently changing the narrative to their advantage, or denying wrongdoings despite evidence to the contrary, you might be dealing with a deeply selfish person. Their need to protect their image often outweighs their respect for honesty.

4) “I don’t have time for this…”

Selfish people often prioritize their time and interests over others, which can manifest in phrases like “I don’t have time for this”.

While everyone has the right to manage their own time, using this phrase regularly may indicate a lack of consideration or empathy towards others. It suggests that their time is more important than yours, or that your issues or concerns are not worth their attention.

This dismissive attitude can be hurtful and isolating for those on the receiving end. If someone constantly makes you feel like your problems are a burden, it could be a sign of deep-seated selfishness. Remember, everyone deserves to be heard and respected.

5) “But what about me?”

Selfish people have a knack for shifting the focus back to themselves, even when it’s completely inappropriate. They might use phrases like “But what about me?” in situations where they should be showing empathy or understanding.

Let’s say you’re going through a tough time and decide to share your feelings. Instead of offering support or compassion, a selfish person might hijack the conversation to talk about their own problems. It’s as if they’re in a constant competition for attention and sympathy.

This inability to step out of their own world and genuinely engage with others’ experiences is a classic sign of deep-seated selfishness. It shows a lack of emotional intelligence and empathy, two qualities that are vital for healthy, reciprocal relationships.

6) “I deserve better…”

Selfish people often have a sense of entitlement, and this can come across in their conversations with phrases like “I deserve better”.

There’s nothing wrong with knowing your worth and expecting respect. However, if someone consistently feels they ‘deserve’ more than others, or that they’re constantly being shortchanged in life, it might point towards a self-centered mindset.

This sense of entitlement can be harmful. It can lead to a lack of appreciation for what they have and an inability to recognize the needs and feelings of others.

It’s heartbreaking to see someone so caught up in their own wants and needs that they fail to see the value in the people and circumstances around them. Such a perspective can lead to strained relationships and missed opportunities for growth.

7) “Why should I?”

One phrase that has stood out to me in the past is “Why should I?”. It’s often used by those who are reluctant to do something that doesn’t directly benefit them.

I recall a time when I asked someone close to me for a favor. It wasn’t something big, but it would’ve meant a lot to me. Instead of agreeing or refusing politely, they responded with “Why should I?”.

This was a clear indication that, in their mind, there was no reason to help unless there was something in it for them. It felt like a punch in the gut. This kind of attitude can strain relationships and create a sense of isolation.

If you hear this phrase often, it might be a sign you’re dealing with someone who puts their needs above everyone else’s.

8) “I’m just being honest…”

Sometimes, phrases that seemingly uphold virtue can hide a selfish motive. One such phrase is “I’m just being honest…”.

Honesty, of course, is a commendable trait. However, when someone uses it as an excuse to say hurtful or dismissive things without considering the feelings of others, it becomes a problem.

This could be a sign they are prioritizing their need to express their thoughts over the potential impact of their words. It’s a veiled way of placing their wants above the well-being of others.

True honesty is not brutal. It’s respectful and considerate of others’ feelings.

9) “That’s not my problem…”

When faced with someone else’s difficulties, a deeply selfish person might respond with “That’s not my problem”.

This phrase is an immediate red flag. It indicates a lack of empathy and a refusal to share in the burdens or concerns of others. It’s a clear sign that they place their own comfort and convenience above the needs of those around them.

While it’s not anyone’s responsibility to solve everyone else’s problems, showing empathy and understanding is a basic element of human connection. If someone consistently shrugs off your concerns with this phrase, it’s a strong indication of their self-centered perspective.

10) “I don’t need anyone…”

A deeply selfish person might often say, “I don’t need anyone”. This phrase suggests a self-reliance that borders on dismissiveness of others.

While independence is a valuable trait, this statement often reveals an unwillingness to connect deeply with others or acknowledge their worth. It dismisses the importance of relationships and mutual support.

We all need each other in some way. Recognizing this is a sign of emotional maturity and empathy. A person who frequently insists they don’t need anyone is likely revealing more about their selfishness than their strength.