There’s a fine line between being persuasive and downright manipulative.

Manipulation, unlike persuasion, often involves stealthy tactics that can be hard to spot. And one of the most subtle forms of manipulation can come from body language.

Body language speaks volumes about a person’s true intentions, often even more than words. It’s all about reading the signs and signals people are unconsciously sending out.

Let’s dive into these 9 sneaky body language signs and arm ourselves with a little more knowledge about manipulation.

1) Uncomfortable eye contact

We’ve all heard that the eyes are the windows to the soul, right? Well, in the realm of body language, they can also be a pretty clear window into someone’s intentions.

Manipulators often use eye contact in ways that can make you feel uncomfortable. They might hold your gaze a little too long, trying to assert dominance or make you feel like you’re under scrutiny.

On the other hand, they might avoid eye contact altogether when they’re being deceptive. This could be because they’re hiding something, or because they’re trying to disengage from the conversation.

2) Excessive touching

Touch can be a powerful tool for communication. It can convey comfort, affection, and support. 

Let me share an example from my life. I once had a colleague who had a habit of touching my arm or shoulder during conversations. At first, it seemed like a friendly gesture.

But over time, I noticed it was always happening when he wanted something from me. If he needed a favor or wanted me to agree with him on something, there was always that light touch on my arm.

It took me a while to realize this, but it was his way of subtly asserting control over the situation. He was using touch to influence my responses and decisions.

3) Fake smiles

When someone is genuinely happy or amused, their whole face lights up. Their eyes crinkle at the corners, and their smile is wide and natural.

This is known as a Duchenne smile, named after the French physician Guillaume Duchenne, who studied the physiology of facial expressions in the mid-19th century.

On the flip side, a fake smile, often used by manipulators, only involves the mouth. The rest of their face remains unchanged or unengaged. Manipulators use this faux expression of happiness to lull you into a sense of security or to mask their true feelings.

4) Fidgeting

Fidgeting can be a clear sign of nervousness or discomfort. 

This could be anything from playing with their hair, repeatedly touching their face, or drumming their fingers on the table. It’s like their body is trying to distract itself from the dishonesty of their actions..

5) Invasion of personal space

Personal space is something we all value. It’s our invisible boundary that makes us feel safe and comfortable. When someone invades this space without invitation, it can feel intrusive and controlling.

Manipulators often use this tactic to assert dominance or to make you feel uncomfortable. They might stand too close, lean over you, or position themselves in a way that feels intrusive.

6) Crossed arms

We often cross our arms when we’re feeling defensive or closed off. It’s like a physical barrier we put up when we’re not comfortable.

I’ve seen this happen in situations where someone is trying to manipulate the conversation. It’s like they’re putting up a wall, not just physically, but emotionally too.

It’s heartbreaking when it happens with someone you care about. You can see that they are not open to genuine conversation or connection.

7) Constant interruptions

Listening is a crucial part of any conversation. But when someone constantly interrupts you, it’s not just rude, it can also be a sign of manipulation.

I remember a time in my life when I was dealing with a person who had this habit. Every time I tried to express my thoughts or feelings, they would cut me off mid-sentence and steer the conversation back to their perspective.

It was incredibly frustrating and left me feeling unheard and invalidated. It took me some time to realize that this was a tactic they were using to maintain control over our conversations.

8) Quick changes in emotion

Emotions are a natural part of being human. But when someone’s emotions flip-flop rapidly during a conversation, it can leave you feeling off-balance and confused.

Manipulators often use this tactic to keep you guessing and to maintain control. One minute they might be laughing and jovial, the next they might be angry or upset. These quick changes in emotion are designed to keep you on your toes and make it hard for you to predict or understand their behavior.

9) Use of silence

Silence can be powerful. It can create tension, evoke emotion, and force reflection. 

They may use it to make you uncomfortable, to force you to fill the silence with chatter, or to make you second-guess yourself.

Final thoughts: trust your instincts

Body language can reveal a lot about a person’s intentions, and being aware of these deceptive signs can help protect us from manipulation. Our gut instinct often picks up on subtleties that our conscious mind might miss.

Just as we learn to decipher words, we can also learn to decipher body language. It’s a skill that can help us navigate our relationships more effectively and protect ourselves from those who might try to manipulate us.