There’s a peculiar paradox we all tend to grapple with.

Sometimes when things start going well for us, we find ourselves tripping over our own feet.

It’s as if we’re programmed to self-sabotage just when we’re on the brink of success.

This self-destructive behavior is often subtle and goes unnoticed until we find ourselves back to square one, puzzled over what went wrong.

I’ve met many individuals who fall into this trap and it’s not a lack of intelligence or talent that leads them astray.

Recognizing these traits can be the first step in breaking free from this cycle, allowing you to make the most of your successes, without the unnecessary stumbles.

Let’s dive into these traits and see if they ring a bell.

Don’t worry, it’s all part of the journey to better understanding ourselves and making our victories more sustainable.

1) Fear of success

It seems counterintuitive, but yes, the fear of success is a real thing and it’s a significant trait among those who tend to self-sabotage.

Just when things start going well, some people panic.

They start questioning if they truly deserve the success they’re experiencing. They might feel like a fraud, waiting for someone to expose them.

This fear, often rooted in low self-esteem, can lead to actions that sabotage their progress.

They might miss crucial meetings, procrastinate on important tasks, or even make mistakes deliberately.

Recognizing this fear is the first step to overcoming it. Success is not something to be feared but celebrated.

And you’re just as deserving of it as anyone else.

Overcoming this fear can help you embrace your achievements and break the cycle of self-sabotage.

If you find yourself hesitating or pulling back when things start going well, take a moment to reflect.

It could be that you’re afraid of the very thing you’ve been working towards: success.

2) Perfectionism

Perfectionism is another trait that can lead to self-sabotage. I can tell you this from personal experience.

A few years back, I was working on a major project. I was excited, motivated, and ready to make it a success.

But as the deadline approached, my desire for everything to be perfect began to take over.

I spent hours tweaking minor details, agonizing over every word, every comma.

I was so caught up in making it flawless that I missed the deadline.

My obsession with perfection had sabotaged my success.

It wasn’t until later that I realized that perfection is not achievable.

It’s okay for things to have minor flaws, and it’s important to focus on the big picture rather than getting lost in the minutiae.

If you find yourself striving for perfection at the expense of your progress, stop and take a step back.

Done is better than perfect. And sometimes, it’s our imperfections that make us truly unique and successful.

3) Procrastination

Procrastination is a classic trait of self-sabotage.

When things start going well, some people find themselves delaying tasks, pushing deadlines, and leaving work until the last minute.

People often procrastinate not out of laziness, but because they are anxious about the outcome of their tasks.

They worry that they might not perform well, and so they put off doing the task to avoid potential failure or disappointment.

This delay can lead to rushed work, missed opportunities, and ultimately, self-sabotage.

If you find yourself frequently procrastinating, it might be worth exploring what’s behind this habit.

And remember, taking small steps towards your goal is better than not taking any steps at all.

4) Negative self-talk

We all have a voice in our heads that guides us, but sometimes, this voice can be our own worst enemy.

Negative self-talk is a common trait among those who self-sabotage.

Imagine you’ve just achieved something great.

Instead of celebrating your success, your inner voice starts to criticize.

“You just got lucky”, “Anyone could have done it”, “You’ll never be able to do it again”.

This constant stream of negativity can erode your confidence and lead to self-doubt.

It can make you second-guess your abilities and decisions, affecting your performance and potential for success.

If you notice this pattern of negative self-talk, it’s crucial to challenge these thoughts.

Everyone makes mistakes and has room for improvement. But it doesn’t mean you’re not capable or deserving of success.

Balancing this inner critic with positive affirmation can help curb self-sabotage and boost your self-esteem.

5) Avoidance of discomfort

Growth often comes from stepping outside of our comfort zones.

But for some people, myself included, the fear of discomfort can lead to self-sabotage.

A few years ago, I was offered an opportunity to present at a large conference. It was a real chance to establish myself in my field.

But the thought of standing in front of hundreds of people was terrifying.

Instead of facing my fear and seizing the opportunity, I declined, telling myself that I wasn’t ready or that there would be other chances in the future.

Looking back, I realize it was a clear case of self-sabotage driven by my aversion to discomfort.

If you find yourself avoiding situations that make you uncomfortable, it’s worth asking why.

Facing those fears and embracing discomfort can lead to tremendous growth and prevent you from standing in your own way.

6) Overthinking

Overthinking can be a major roadblock on the path to success. When things start going well, it’s natural to reflect and plan.

But when thoughtful consideration turns into endless rumination, it can lead to paralysis and self-sabotage.

You might find yourself fixating on every possible outcome, worrying about things that haven’t happened yet, or obsessing over every detail.

This mental overload can lead to indecision, anxiety, and needless self-doubt.

The key to overcoming this trait is recognizing when you’re stuck in an overthinking loop.

Try to focus on what’s within your control, set realistic expectations, and trust your instincts.

It’s not about having all the answers but making the best decisions with the information you have.

7) Lack of self-care

This might seem like a no-brainer, but it’s surprising how many people neglect this aspect.

Lack of self-care is a critical trait of those who self-sabotage.

When we’re caught up in the whirlwind of success, it’s easy to forget to take care of ourselves.

We might sacrifice sleep, skip meals, or ignore our mental health.

But this disregard for our well-being can lead to burnout and, ultimately, self-sabotage.

Taking care of your physical, mental, and emotional health is not a luxury—it’s a necessity.

It serves as the foundation for sustained success and well-being.

Take breaks, eat healthy, exercise regularly, and seek support when needed. Your success doesn’t have to come at the cost of your health.

Final thoughts: It’s all in the mind

Our minds are a fascinating universe of thoughts, emotions, and behaviors, all intricately interconnected.

There’s a wealth of research suggesting that our thought patterns can significantly influence our actions.

In fact, renowned psychologist Aaron Beck’s cognitive theory of depression posits that negative thought patterns can lead to self-defeating behaviors.

In the context of self-sabotage, our minds can either be our biggest ally or our greatest adversary.

If we’re not mindful, negative thoughts can lead us down the path of self-destruction.

But it doesn’t have to be that way.

By recognizing these traits and understanding their root causes, we can start making conscious choices that support our success rather than hinder it.

As we navigate the journey to success, let’s remember to be kind to ourselves, celebrate our accomplishments, and challenge the thought patterns that lead us to self-sabotage.

After all, success is not just about achieving our goals but also about enjoying the journey and growing along the way.