For most of my life, I didn’t realize how socially awkward I was.

I just knew that conversations felt forced, people seemed distant, and I often walked away from interactions feeling… off.

And the worst part? I had no idea I was doing it.

Psychology tells us that certain behaviors—often unintentional—can make us seem overly dependent, pushy, or desperate for approval.

Unfortunately, this can push people away rather than bring them closer.

If you’ve ever felt like your social interactions don’t go the way you want them to, you might be making these subtle but crucial mistakes.

Let’s dive into seven things socially awkward people do that unknowingly give off needy energy—and what to do instead:

1) Always seeking validation

For years, I didn’t realize how much I craved approval from others.

I would over-explain myself, constantly ask if I was doing okay, and overanalyze every interaction.

If someone didn’t respond to my message right away, my mind would spiral—”Did I say something wrong? Do they not like me?”

Psychology tells us that this kind of behavior gives off needy energy.

When we’re always looking for reassurance, it signals to others that we don’t trust ourselves—and that can be exhausting for them.

The truth is, confidence doesn’t come from other people telling you you’re good enough.

It comes from you believing it yourself.

If you catch yourself seeking validation too often, try pausing before asking for reassurance.

Instead of looking outward for approval, remind yourself: I am enough as I am.

This small shift in mindset can make a huge difference in how others perceive you—and in how you perceive yourself.

2) Oversharing too soon

I used to think that opening up about my struggles right away would help me connect with people.

So, on a first meeting or early in a friendship, I’d spill everything—my anxieties, my past failures, even personal details that most people would save for much later.

I thought being completely open would make people like me more.

But instead of creating deeper connections, I often noticed people pulling away.

Conversations would get awkward, and I’d be left wondering what went wrong.

Turns out, psychology has a name for this: Emotional dumping.

When we overshare too soon, it can feel overwhelming to the other person—almost like we’re asking them to carry our emotional baggage before they even know us.

I realized that oversharing was a sign that I wasn’t fully comfortable with myself—I was looking for others to validate my emotions instead of doing it on my own.

Now, I take things slower; instead of unloading everything at once, I let connections build naturally over time.

Ironically, by sharing less upfront, I’ve found that my relationships have become much stronger.

3) Texting too much or too quickly

I used to be that person—the one who sent multiple texts in a row when someone didn’t reply fast enough.

If I was interested in a new friend or potential partner, I’d overanalyze every pause in conversation; if they took an hour to respond, I’d start to panic.

I’d send a follow-up text, maybe even joke about them ignoring me—anything to get a reply and ease my anxiety.

But instead of bringing people closer, this habit had the opposite effect.

I could feel people pulling away, replying with shorter messages, or sometimes not responding at all.

Eventually, I learned that constantly texting (or double-texting) can come across as needy energy.

It signals that you’re relying on the other person for reassurance, rather than being comfortable with space and silence.

Now, I resist the urge to fill every gap in conversation.

If someone takes time to reply, I remind myself that it’s not personal—they might just be busy or needing their own space.

4) Laughing too much at unfunny things

There was a time when I laughed at everything.

Even if a joke wasn’t funny—or wasn’t even a joke—I’d chuckle, nod, and act like it was the most amusing thing I’d ever heard.

I thought this made me seem friendly and likable.

But deep down, I wasn’t laughing because I found things funny.

I was laughing because I wanted people to like me.

My nervous laughter wasn’t helping me connect with people—it was making me seem unsure of myself.

So, I made a change.

Now, instead of forcing laughter, I wait until something genuinely amuses me.

To my surprise, my interactions started to feel more natural.

It turns out, you don’t need to laugh at everything for people to enjoy being around you—you just need to be real.

5) Agreeing with everything

I used to think that agreeing with people all the time would make them like me more.

If someone shared an opinion, I’d nod enthusiastically—even if I didn’t actually agree; if a friend suggested doing something I wasn’t interested in, I’d go along with it anyway.

I thought being agreeable made me easy to be around.

But over time, I noticed something strange: the more I agreed with everything, the less people seemed to respect my opinions.

Conversations felt one-sided, and I often felt invisible—like my own thoughts didn’t matter.

Psychology explains why this happens: When we constantly agree with others, we can come across as inauthentic or lacking confidence in our own beliefs.

People are drawn to those who have their own perspectives, not just those who mirror theirs.

Once I realized this, I started voicing my real opinions—even when they were different from others’.

And guess what? People respected me more for it!

Disagreeing (respectfully) doesn’t push people away—it actually makes conversations more interesting and relationships more balanced.

6) Constantly apologizing

For the longest time, the word “sorry” was practically a reflex for me.

At first, I thought this made me polite and considerate.

But, over time, I realized that constantly apologizing made me seem insecure—like I was always afraid of being a burden.

I wasn’t just saying sorry out of politeness—I was doing it because I wanted to avoid upsetting people at all costs.

Now, before apologizing, I ask myself: “Did I actually do something wrong?”

If the answer was no, I’d replace “sorry” with something else or simply nothing at all.

Eventually, people didn’t think less of me for apologizing less—in fact, they seemed to respect me more.

7) Trying too hard to be liked

This one was the hardest lesson for me to learn—because it feels completely backward.

For years, I thought the key to making friends and building connections was putting in more effort.

I’d go out of my way to be extra nice, always be available, and try to mold myself into whatever I thought people wanted me to be.

Instead of drawing people in, this actually did the opposite.

People can sense when someone is overly focused on winning approval, and ironically, that makes them less likely to feel a genuine connection.

The counterintuitive truth? The less you care about being liked, the more people are drawn to you.

Here’s a practical exercise: The next time you’re in a social situation, instead of thinking “How can I make them like me?”, shift your mindset to “Do I actually enjoy this interaction?”

Focus on whether you feel comfortable and engaged—because when you do, your energy naturally becomes more attractive to others.

Focus on being secure, not seeking approval

If you’ve recognized yourself in any of these behaviors, don’t worry—I’ve been there too.

The good news? You don’t need to change who you are to stop giving off needy energy.

You just need to shift your mindset.

Instead of seeking approval, focus on becoming more secure in yourself.

The next time you catch yourself over-apologizing, over-explaining, or over-texting—pause.

Take a deep breath and ask yourself: “Am I doing this because I feel anxious or because it’s genuinely necessary?”

The more you practice self-awareness and self-trust, the more people will naturally be drawn to you.

And the best part? You’ll start feeling better in your own skin, no external validation needed.