If someone blames you for their mistakes, you might be dealing with a narcissist.

If they constantly deny their faults, it’s almost certain.

Interpreting human behavior isn’t always a walk in the park.

Indeed, the mind’s labyrinth is so intricate that it requires an extra ounce of effort to discern what lies beneath the surface, particularly with individuals who possess narcissistic tendencies.

However, once you’re familiar with these common phrases, you’ll be a step ahead in navigating these complex interactions.

It’s not about blaming or shaming—it’s about understanding and setting boundaries. Let’s dive in.

1) “You’re just overreacting”

We’ve all been caught up in an emotional whirlwind at times, coloring our thoughts and actions.

However, when you’re on the receiving end of a narcissist’s fault, they often resort to this classic phrase as a shield – “You’re just overreacting.”

It’s a clever tactic, really. By making you question your emotions, they shift the focus from their wrongdoings to your reaction.

Suddenly, you’re the one who needs to adjust and be more understanding.

But remember, it’s not about you. It’s about them avoiding accountability.

It’s their way of washing their hands clean of any guilt or responsibility.

Don’t let them make you feel like you’re the one at fault. Stand your ground and don’t let them distort your reality.

2) “I never said that”

Ah, the classic denial. This phrase was a constant in my personal experience with a narcissistic friend.

We’d have a heated argument where she’d say things that were clearly out of line.

But when I’d confront her later, she’d simply brush it off and say, “I never said that.”

It was maddening and made me question my own memory at times. I even started to wonder if I was making things up or hearing them wrong.

But then I realized, it wasn’t me. It was her way of evading responsibility for her hurtful words and actions.

By denying what she had clearly said, she was effectively rewriting the narrative in her favor.

It’s a cunning tactic, but once you’re aware of it, you can take steps to protect yourself and maintain your perspective.

3) “It was just a joke”

Here’s another classic trick in the narcissist’s playbook, and it’s been used by some of the most infamous figures in history.

They say something offensive or hurtful and then, when called out, they retreat behind the guise of humor.

“It was just a joke,” they’d say, making you seem like the party pooper for not being able to take a joke.

But it’s important to remember that humor should never be used as a disguise for disrespect or harm.

And if someone’s “joke” leaves you feeling belittled or upset, then that’s no laughing matter.

The next time someone tries to mask their wrongdoing with humor, remember that you don’t have to laugh along.

Stand your ground and let them know that their “joke” crossed the line.

4) “You always take things too personally”

Narcissists have a knack for turning the tables around so that you always appear to be the problem.

One of their favorite phrases to use is, “You always take things too personally.”

By saying this, they’re implying that you’re overly sensitive and that’s why you’re upset, not because they did anything wrong.

It’s a subtle way of shifting the blame onto you while they sidestep any responsibility.

But remember, it’s not about you being too sensitive.

It’s about them trying to escape accountability.

Don’t let them undermine your feelings or your perspective.

Your emotions are valid and if something hurts you, it’s important to express it and stand up for yourself.

5) “I’m sorry you feel that way”

Ever heard this one before? I certainly have, and it’s a classic example of a non-apology.

When a narcissist says, “I’m sorry you feel that way,” what they’re really saying is that they’re sorry you’re upset, but not that they did anything wrong.

In my experience, it feels dismissive and insincere.

It’s their way of appearing to apologize without actually accepting any blame or expressing genuine remorse.

It took me a while to recognize this for what it was – a clever tactic to dodge accountability.

But once I did, it became easier to see through their facade and stand my ground.

The next time you hear this phrase, remember that it’s not an admission of guilt.

Don’t let it deter you from holding them accountable for their actions.

6) “I didn’t mean to hurt you”

Now here’s a phrase that might throw you off the scent. Sounds sincere, right? But don’t be fooled.

When a narcissist says, “I didn’t mean to hurt you,” what they’re really doing is deflecting blame.

They’re acknowledging that you’re hurt but not that they’re the reason for it.

The implication is that you just misunderstood their intentions, and once again, it’s your fault for feeling upset, not theirs for causing it.

But intentions don’t absolve actions.

And even if they didn’t intend to hurt you, the fact remains that they did.

Don’t let this phrase confuse you or make you feel guilty for holding them accountable.

It’s not about their intentions, it’s about their actions and the impact those actions had on you.

7) “It’s not a big deal”

This phrase is another common scapegoat for narcissists.

By belittling the issue at hand, they’re able to brush off their accountability and make you feel unreasonable for being upset.

When they say, “It’s not a big deal,” they’re suggesting that you’re making a mountain out of a molehill and that you should just let it go.

But here’s the thing – if it’s a big deal to you, then it is a big deal.

You have every right to feel upset and demand accountability for their actions.

Don’t let them diminish your feelings or make you second guess yourself.

Stand up for yourself and remember that your feelings are valid, regardless of how they try to downplay them.

8) “Let’s just move on”

This is perhaps the most cunning phrase in the narcissist’s arsenal.

By suggesting to “just move on”, they’re essentially trying to rush you through your feelings and avoid any serious discussion about their actions.

It’s like they’re saying, “Yes, I messed up. But can’t we just forget about it and move on?”

But healing and resolution can’t be rushed. It’s important to take the time you need to process your feelings and discuss the issue at hand.

Don’t let them rush you into forgiving and forgetting without a genuine apology and change in behavior.

You have every right to hold them accountable for their actions.

Final thoughts

Navigating the complexities of human behavior is no easy feat, especially when it comes to interacting with narcissists.

Recognizing the phrases narcissists use to avoid accountability is a crucial step in setting boundaries and maintaining your emotional health.

It’s not about blaming or shaming, but about understanding and standing your ground.

Remember, your feelings are valid and you have every right to hold others accountable for their actions.

So, the next time you encounter these phrases, take a step back, breathe, and remember what you’ve learned.

You’re stronger than you think, and you’re certainly not alone in this journey.

In the words of Dr. Maya Angelou, “When someone shows you who they are, believe them the first time.”

And with that, may we all continue to grow, learn, and navigate the intricacies of human interactions with grace and resilience.