10 things in your life that will change when you learn to love yourself, according to psychology

Olivia Reid by Olivia Reid | February 4, 2025, 3:02 am

There’s a profound transformation that happens when you learn to truly love yourself.

It’s not about being narcissistic or self-centered. It’s about acknowledging your worth and embracing your imperfections.

When you start to love yourself, according to psychology, things in your life begin to shift in surprising ways.

We’re going to delve into the top ten changes that occur when self-love takes center stage in your life.

And guess what? These aren’t just fluffy feel-good statements. They’re backed by psychological research.

So, get ready for a journey of self-discovery and personal growth. Because loving yourself doesn’t just feel good – it reshapes your life in ways you might not expect.

1) Your relationships improve

The journey of self-love, as psychologists often point out, begins from within and emanates outwards.

Suddenly, relationships that were fraught with tension start to improve.

You’re no longer seeking validation from others, but instead offering positivity and love because it’s a surplus within you.

In the wise words of psychologist Carl Rogers, “The curious paradox is that when I accept myself just as I am, then I can change.”

This is the essence of self-love. It allows us to grow and change, but not because we feel inadequate.

We change because we acknowledge our imperfections and still choose to love ourselves.

This shift in mindset doesn’t just apply to your personal relationships.

It also has a profound impact on your professional relationships. When you respect yourself, you command respect from others too.

The first change you’re likely to notice when you start loving yourself?

Your relationships, both personal and professional, will start to blossom in ways you’ve never imagined before.

2) You start setting boundaries

One thing I noticed when I began my journey of self-love was how I started setting boundaries.

I began to value my time and energy and became discerning about where I invested them.

Before, I used to say yes to everything, stretching myself thin and often feeling overwhelmed.

But as I learnt to appreciate my worth, I began to understand that it was okay to say no. It was okay to put myself first.

As the renowned psychologist and author, Brene Brown, once said, “Daring to set boundaries is about having the courage to love ourselves, even when we risk disappointing others.”

This quote resonated with me deeply. I realized that by setting boundaries, I was not being selfish; instead, I was honoring my needs and my space.

And this brought about a sense of peace and balance in my life that I hadn’t experienced before.

The second change you’ll likely observe when you cultivate self-love is a newfound respect for your time and energy, leading you to set healthy boundaries in all aspects of your life.

3) You let go of guilt and shame

Now, here’s a tough one. The journey of self-love isn’t always rosy. It’s raw, it’s real, and it’s often painful.

One of the hardest things I had to confront was the guilt and shame I had been carrying around for years.

Mistakes from the past that I hadn’t forgiven myself for. Unhealthy patterns of behavior that I was ashamed of.

As the esteemed psychologist Sigmund Freud once said, “Unexpressed emotions will never die. They are buried alive and will come forth later in uglier ways.”

And he was right. The guilt and shame were eating me up inside, affecting my happiness and my relationships.

But as I began to love myself, I realized that it was time to confront these feelings.

I had to forgive myself for my past mistakes. To understand that these were not reflections of who I am but lessons that have shaped me.

And through this process, I was able to let go of the guilt and shame that had been holding me back.

The third, albeit challenging, change you’ll likely experience when you learn to love yourself is the release of guilt and shame. And trust me, it’s liberating.

4) You begin to trust yourself

Another profound change I experienced was the blossoming of self-trust.

Once I started loving myself, I began to trust my intuition and decisions more.

In the past, I used to constantly second-guess myself, always seeking others’ opinions before making decisions.

But as my self-love grew, so did my confidence in my abilities and judgments.

Famous psychologist Carl Jung said, “Who looks outside, dreams; who looks inside, awakes.”

This quote perfectly encapsulates the shift from external validation to internal assurance.

The more I turned inwards for answers, trusting in my own wisdom and instincts, the more awakened and empowered I felt.

The fourth change you can expect when you embrace self-love is a newfound trust in yourself.

And believe me, it’s incredibly empowering to know that you can rely on your own intuition and judgment.

5) You become more comfortable with failure

Here’s a surprising one. When I started loving myself, I became more comfortable with failure. Sounds counterintuitive, doesn’t it?

Most of us fear failure. We see it as a sign of weakness or incompetence.

But when you truly love yourself, you recognize that failure is not the opposite of success; it’s a part of it.

That’s exactly what happened to me. I stopped viewing failure as a dead end, but rather as a stepping stone to success.

It became less about the fall, and more about getting back up and learning from the experience.

The fifth change you’ll likely notice when you learn to love yourself is an altered perception of failure. And let me tell you, it’s a game-changer.

6) Self-care becomes a priority

One of the most immediate changes you’ll notice when you start practicing self-love is that self-care becomes a non-negotiable priority in your life.

You’ll find yourself making time for activities that nourish your body, mind, and soul.

This could be anything from a regular fitness routine, to reading a good book, or simply taking some quiet time for yourself.

Psychologist Abraham Maslow, known for his hierarchy of needs theory, once said, “What is necessary to change a person is to change his awareness of himself.”

Incorporating self-care practices into your daily life changes your awareness of yourself.

It sends a powerful message to yourself and others that your wellbeing matters.

The sixth change you’ll experience when you learn to love yourself is the prioritization of self-care.

And trust me, it’s not just about pampering yourself; it’s about respecting and nurturing yourself at a deeper level.

7) You become more resilient

Another fascinating change I noticed in myself was how my resilience levels shot up.

I became better equipped to handle life’s ups and downs without being swept away by them.

Before my journey of self-love, setbacks would leave me crushed and feeling helpless.

But as I learned to love myself, I started seeing these challenges as temporary hurdles, not permanent roadblocks.

Renowned psychologist Albert Ellis once said, “The art of love is largely the art of persistence.”

This quote beautifully captures the essence of resilience in the face of adversity.

The art of loving oneself is indeed about persistence – the ability to bounce back, to keep going despite difficulties.

The seventh change you can look forward to when you start loving yourself is increased resilience.

It’s about shifting your perspective and developing the grit to weather life’s storms.

8) You learn to let go of perfectionism

Now, here’s a raw truth. As I journeyed towards self-love, I had to confront and let go of my own perfectionism.

For years, I chased perfection, thinking that if I could just be perfect, then I would be worthy of love and acceptance.

But the more I loved myself, the more I realized that perfection was an illusion.

Psychologist Carl Rogers once said, “The good life is a process, not a state of being. It is a direction not a destination.”

This quote was a wake-up call for me. I realized that life isn’t about being perfect; it’s about growth, progress, and continually moving in the direction of our dreams and values.

The eighth change that comes with self-love is letting go of perfectionism.

It’s about embracing our imperfections and realizing that we are enough, just as we are.

9) You become more accepting of others

Here’s a counterintuitive change. As I grew in self-love, I found myself becoming more accepting of others.

It might seem strange. After all, self-love is about focusing on ourselves, right?

But here’s the thing – as I accepted and loved myself with all my flaws and quirks, I found it easier to accept others just as they are.

Psychologist Carl Jung once said, “Everything that irritates us about others can lead us to an understanding of ourselves.”

This quote really hit home for me. I realized that the more I embraced my own imperfections, the less judgmental I became of others.

The ninth change you’ll likely experience when you learn to love yourself is an increased acceptance of others.

It’s a beautiful by-product of self-love that leads to deeper, more meaningful connections with those around you.

10) You become your own best friend

The tenth and perhaps the most enriching change that I experienced was becoming my own best friend.

Before my journey of self-love, I was my own harshest critic. But as I started embracing self-love, I learned to be kinder to myself.

I started treating myself with the same compassion and understanding that I would extend to a dear friend.

As psychologist Kristin Neff said, “A moment of self-compassion can change your entire day. A string of such moments can change the course of your life.”

This quote resonated deeply with me. Each moment of self-compassion did indeed change my day.

And a string of such moments completely transformed my life.

The tenth change you can expect when you learn to love yourself is becoming your own best friend.

It’s about being there for yourself, cherishing your own company, and treating yourself with kindness and compassion.