For years, I struggled with speaking up.

In conversations, I often hesitated, second-guessed myself, or rambled on without making my point clear. I admired people who spoke with confidence—who could command attention, persuade effortlessly, and never seem unsure of their words.

But here’s what I’ve learned: confidence in speaking isn’t something you’re born with. It’s a skill. And like any skill, it can be developed.

Through my deep interest in psychology (and plenty of trial and error), I discovered a handful of subtle speaking tricks that instantly made me sound more confident and persuasive. These shifts weren’t dramatic, but they made a huge impact on how others perceived me—and more importantly, how I perceived myself.

In this article, I’ll share seven of these powerful techniques. Whether you’re leading a meeting, having an important conversation, or just want to express yourself more clearly, these small changes can make a big difference.

Let’s dive in.

1) Stop using filler words

One of the biggest things that held me back from sounding confident was my overuse of filler words—”um,” “uh,” “like,” “you know.”

I didn’t even realize how often I was using them until I started paying attention. But once I did, I saw how they made me sound unsure of myself, like I was searching for the right words instead of owning what I was saying.

Psychology research shows that we tend to trust and respect people who speak clearly and with certainty. Filler words weaken that effect, making you seem hesitant or unprepared.

The trick? Pause instead.

Instead of filling the silence with “um” or “uh,” simply take a breath. A short moment of silence actually makes you sound more thoughtful and in control. It gives your words more weight and keeps people engaged.

Try this: record yourself speaking for a minute about any topic. Listen back and notice where you use filler words. Then, practice saying the same thing again—but this time, replace every “um” with a pause.

It’s a small change, but it makes a huge difference in how confident and persuasive you sound.

2) Lower your pitch and slow down

I used to speak too fast—especially when I was nervous. My words would tumble out, and before I knew it, I’d lost people’s attention. Worse, my voice would rise slightly at the end of my sentences, making everything sound like a question instead of a statement.

Then I came across some fascinating research: studies show that people perceive slower speech and a slightly lower vocal pitch as more authoritative and confident. That’s when I realized—if I wanted to sound more persuasive, I needed to control my pace and tone.

William James, often called the “father of American psychology,” once said, “The greatest weapon against stress is our ability to choose one thought over another.” And the same applies to speech—when we slow down, we signal to ourselves (and others) that we’re in control of our words.

I started practicing by reading aloud, deliberately lowering my pitch and pausing between important points. At first, it felt unnatural. But soon, I noticed something incredible: people listened more intently. They responded differently—more engaged, more convinced.

Try this: the next time you speak, take a deep breath before you start. Consciously slow down by just 10-15%. Let your words land. You’ll be surprised at how much more confident and persuasive you instantly sound.

3) Embrace the power of eye contact

For the longest time, I avoided eye contact when I spoke.

I wasn’t even aware of it—I’d glance to the side, look down, or shift my focus around the room. I thought I was just being natural, but in reality, it made me seem uncertain and disconnected.

Then I started paying attention to great speakers. They all had one thing in common: strong, steady eye contact. It wasn’t a blank stare or anything intense—it was natural but intentional. And it made them instantly more persuasive.

So, I decided to practice. In conversations, I made a conscious effort to hold eye contact for a few extra seconds before looking away. At first, it felt a little uncomfortable.

But then something interesting happened—people started responding to me differently. They seemed more engaged, more trusting. And the best part? I felt more confident too.

Psychologists have found that eye contact builds trust and strengthens communication. One study even showed that people who maintain good eye contact are perceived as more intelligent and competent.

Try this: the next time you’re speaking with someone, focus on holding eye contact just a little longer than usual. If you’re talking to a group, make sure to shift your gaze from one person to another instead of looking down or away.

It’s a small adjustment, but it makes a huge impact on both how others see you—and how you see yourself.

4) Use your hands when you talk

I used to think that keeping my hands still made me look more composed. So, whenever I spoke—whether in a conversation or in front of a group—I’d keep them stiffly at my sides or awkwardly clasped together.

But then I noticed something: the most engaging and persuasive speakers always used their hands. They gestured naturally, emphasizing key points and making their words more dynamic.

Turns out, there’s real science behind this. A study from researchers at the University of Chicago found that people who use hand gestures while speaking are perceived as more persuasive and clear in their communication.

Gesturing actually helps you think through your ideas more effectively—and it helps your audience understand and remember what you’re saying.

So, I decided to give it a try. Instead of keeping my hands locked in place, I let them move naturally as I spoke. I used open-palmed gestures to appear more approachable and deliberate movements to highlight important points.

The result? Conversations felt smoother, people seemed more engaged, and I felt more confident in expressing myself.

Try this: if you’re not used to gesturing, start small—when making a point, use your hands to illustrate it. Avoid overdoing it, but don’t be afraid to let your movements flow naturally with your words. It’ll instantly make you a more compelling speaker.

5) Master the power of the pause

For a long time, I thought confidence in speaking meant filling every second with words. Silence felt awkward—like I had to keep talking or I’d lose people’s attention.

But then I noticed something about truly persuasive speakers: they pause. A lot.

Instead of rushing through their points, they leave intentional gaps between sentences. And those pauses do something powerful—they make people lean in, process what’s being said, and take the speaker more seriously.

At first, it felt unnatural when I tried it. But then I saw the difference. Instead of nervously filling space with words, I started pausing after key points. Instead of rushing to answer in conversations, I let a moment of silence sit before responding.

The effect was immediate—people listened more closely, and I felt more in control of my words.

Try this: the next time you’re about to say something important, pause for just one or two seconds before speaking. It might feel strange at first, but that small silence gives your words more weight and makes you instantly sound more confident and persuasive.

6) Mirror the person you’re speaking to

I used to think confidence in speaking was all about how I expressed myself—my tone, my words, my gestures. But then I learned something that completely changed the way I communicate: people are naturally drawn to those who are like them.

That’s where mirroring comes in.

Mirroring is a subtle technique where you match the body language, tone, or speech patterns of the person you’re talking to. It’s not about copying them exactly (that would be weird), but making small adjustments to create a sense of connection and trust.

I remember trying this out for the first time during a conversation with a colleague who spoke in a calm, measured tone.

Normally, I spoke faster and with more energy, but instead of pushing my usual style, I slowed down slightly to match his pace. Almost instantly, the conversation felt more natural—he seemed more engaged, and we connected better.

This technique is backed by psychology. Carl Rogers, one of the most influential psychologists in history, once said, “When someone really hears you without passing judgment on you… it feels damn good.”

And that’s exactly what mirroring does—it makes people feel heard and understood, which makes you seem more confident and persuasive.

Try this: the next time you’re speaking with someone, notice their energy level, tone, and body language. If they’re speaking softly, lower your own volume slightly.

If they’re leaning forward, do the same. These small adjustments can make a big impact on how naturally the conversation flows—and how influential you appear.

7) Admit when you don’t know something

It sounds counterintuitive, but one of the most powerful ways to appear confident is to admit when you don’t know something.

I used to think confidence meant always having an answer—no hesitation, no uncertainty. So, when I didn’t know something, I’d try to bluff my way through or give a vague response just to avoid looking uninformed.

But here’s what I realized: people actually respect you more when you’re honest about what you don’t know. Instead of weakening your credibility, it strengthens it—because it shows you’re secure enough in yourself to be real.

Researchers have found that admitting uncertainty can actually increase trust. In fact, studies on leadership show that people perceive leaders who acknowledge their limitations as more competent and relatable. Trying to appear all-knowing, on the other hand, can backfire and make you seem less trustworthy.

Now, whenever I’m in a conversation or giving a presentation and someone asks me something I don’t know, I simply say: “That’s a great question—I don’t have the answer right now, but I’ll look into it.” The result? People appreciate the honesty, and I feel more in control instead of scrambling for a fake answer.

Try this: The next time you’re unsure about something in a conversation, resist the urge to bluff. Instead, confidently acknowledge it: “I’m not sure about that, but I’d love to find out.” You’ll be surprised at how much more confident and credible you sound.

Final thoughts

Confidence in speaking isn’t about being the loudest person in the room—it’s about how you deliver your words.

The small shifts we’ve covered—pausing, using eye contact, lowering your pitch, and even admitting when you don’t know something—can make an immediate impact on how persuasive and self-assured you sound.

But here’s the key: practice.

Pick just one of these techniques and start using it today. Whether it’s cutting out filler words or slowing down your speech, focus on improving one thing at a time. Over time, these subtle changes will add up—and speaking with confidence will start to feel natural.

Remember: the way you speak shapes how others see you. And more importantly, it shapes how you see yourself.